the F@head files

this time for africa

2010-12-08T11:32:00.005+07:00

finding a fellow saffa out here is about as likely as finding black pepper or hot water. not very.

when we have stumbled upon one of our countrymen, it's usually followed by squeals of glee and jubilation (from Fathead, of course … not me, I'm way to calm and collected for that kind of public outburst).

we all know why saffas don't really get out much, globally speaking. for one, there's the rand. for another, we're at the tip of africa on the way to and from nowhere. it's tough for us to take a break from our careers, filled with fear that there won't be an income source awaiting us, on our return. we live good lives, but save little… you know the drill.

so when we do meet said souls, it's great to reminisce about the land we miss and love. it's wonderful to have your ear buds comforted by that familiar accent. and for some reason, no matter where we're from, we slip as much Afrikaans as we can into our conversation.

of course we meet tons of other nationalities. all of which are enthusiastically fascinated when they hear where we're from. the europeans' eyes twinkle with excitement at the possibility that they might one day visit the south of africa, the american's nod knowingly, pretending to know where that is, and the locals automatically blurt out "waka-waka eh-eh" like it's some kind of universally understood greeting … which, i suppose it has become.

naturally we rave about how awesome our country is, because it is awesome. but often we're told that they've met other south african's who've told them horror stories about home. in this fictional land you can't leave your house after 6pm. there is hatred on the streets. everyone is under constant attack. we live in self-imposed prisons behind heavily-armed gates. no one has a job.

now before you all go banging on about "yes, but…" please understand that i'm not saying we are without our share of problems.

BUT

of the travellers we've met:

98% of those from the UK are on their way to live and work in australia, because they can't find jobs back home and the nanny-state mentality of their society has become so intense they've chosen to try and make a life for themselves half way across the world.

in denmark, the xenophobic government is so controlling that they've even put an age restriction of 26 yrs onto being married in an effort to drive out the turkish immigrants who follow a different culture of young, arranged marriages. we spoke to a danish couple who said "we're embarrassed to be danish"

a french girl we met is wandering the world trying to find a home, because she cannot afford to live in her own country

the current leader of italy is apparently a madman dictator who controls all press and makes changes to the constitution and laws without any input from the people

this is to name but a few of the many stories we've heard, from all over the world.

all i'm saying is take off your malema-tinted glasses and see the things that we do have going for us. look at your situation in a global perspective and understand it relative to the world as a whole.

when you go overseas, you are an ambassador for our country. please behave appropriately.

i'm not sure why some of us leave our wonderful home and choose to over embellish the troubles we face. people will believe anything, so be careful with your words.

encourage foreigners to visit us, meet us, break bread with us, crack open a castle with us.

we are awesume. don't you forget that.

making the most of it

2010-12-06T17:12:00.006+07:00

right … so we were on our own. no help from the locals then … this was going to be interesting.

we eventually managed to hire motorbikes, and set off back up the only road in tat lo in search of, well, anything really. the exploration took us down muddy inclines and slushy paths.

in parts, i was all "hell no" and got off the bike, preferring to walk while Fathead negotiated the dangerous gauntlets.

we discovered a small village where the children, unclothed, ran amok amongst pigs and chickens, and the elders lay propped up in doorways escaping heat-induced exhaustion. a few of the locals waved us over, pointing into the heart of a forest "waterfall, waterfall".

we clambered off the bikes and followed them down a muddy trail, and then around a small bend we saw a beautifully high and narrow waterfall tumbling down into the river, on the banks of which we stood.

" I recon we could get to the top" someone said.

so back onto the bikes we went, and chased the river's course deeper into the mountains. eventually we reached an end point, where the road curled up on itself at the top of a forested hill. a small path lead us down into the thick of the trees, and at the end we stepped out at the source of the waterfall.

there's something very exhilarating about standing the edge of a sheer drop-off, spring water chasing itself through your legs, like lemmings off a cliff face. we'd not realized the height we'd gained riding up, but the enormous boulders we'd seen from the bottom now appeared to be pebbles.

one thing i can tell you with certainty is that when you stand somewhere that human beings seem out of place you inherit memories that don't fade.

if you've never stood at the lip of a waterfall, put it on your bucket list.

tat lo

2010-12-06T16:16:00.007+07:00

i'd never really been to a "one horse town" until i got to tat lo. it was a necessary stop to break the epic distance between the southern border of laos, and it's centrally located capital, vientiane. it also sounded kind of interesting – set in the middle of the bolaven plateau, there was promise of amazing landscapes,waterfalls and exquisite coffee plantations.

the bus we'd caught from the mainland choked along what the laotians would define as a "road" : a path worn into the bush, which you and i might call "an over-grown trail".

somewhere between bumhole alabama and the middle of nowhere, it came to a stop and we were ordered to disembark.

on the left hand side of the dusty path, a forest sprawled over what must have once been a wooden street stall. to the right, a broken down truck which had been dismembered of all its essential parts, and judging by the coating of rust, this dissection had happened quite some time ago.

behind the motorized ruin, one lonely hotel sat at the foot of a swing bridge. this was as far as the bus could go. we, apparently, had arrived in the bustling metropolis of tat lo.

while i was trying to contain my rage aimed at the driver, who by this stage had unpacked our luggage and in the process, dragged my backpack through a trough of clay, some of the residents of tat lo (of which there must be a total of 23) approached … hands held flat and open.

"pay".

"pay what?"

"you must pay"

"what must I pay?"

"24,000 kip each"

"three dollars? each? for what?"

"you in tat lo now ... must pay for here"

welcome to the south of laos, people.

there was a whole lot of repetition of the above conversation, while some of the foreigners just stormed off across the rickety bridge in a rage.

hands were flung.

voices were raised.

eyes were rolled.

bargains were made.

in the end, we decided to dump our bags in the lonely hotel, while two of us could suss out the town and find a home for the night. shortly thereafter we realized that we were in the only hotel in town, and that the "toll" had been a tourist scam – leading you to believe that there was an entrance fee to cross the bridge and "enter" tat lo … when in fact, this tiny, dirty road strip with the ghost truck, the wooden shack, hotel california and the swing bridge was, in fact, tat lo.

but the hotel was clean with big rooms and flushing, western toilets. the rooms led onto a communal balcony, which overlooked a beautifully peaceful grassy river bank, with white water splashing from the belly of a loud and jovial waterfall.

it wasn't friendly and our welcome hadn't exactly been warm. but it was quiet, and we had the whole place to ourselves. so we did what any respectable backpackers would do when they're abandoned on the side of a trail that leads to nowhere : ordered several icy cold beer lao's and joined the sun as it wound down its exhaustively hot day.

click HERE to view full FB album of Tat Lo

natural wonders

2010-12-05T09:05:00.003+07:00

for the remainder of our time on the island, we decided to move to cheaper accommodation – which actually had far more character than our previous place. we checked into a sweet little bungalow, rustically nailed together on the river's bed. in the mornings we lazed on hammocks as the river rushed beneath our deck. when evenings came, fellow travellers gathered on our balcony for sundowners. it was a very special place.

don det lacks many things … flushing toilets, hot water, electricity to name a few. what is certainly does not lack is raw, natural beauty. the immense delta of the river swells and tumbles on relentlessly. birds animate the skies. the sunsets blaze, unobstructed by little more than a few mangrove trees.

this part of the mekong that joins cambodia to laos, is also home to a very special, extremely rare and endangered creature – the fresh water Irrawaddy dolphin. the chance of spotting an irrawaddy in one's lifetime is close to none, so when we were offered a boat ride to possibly glimpse a dorsal fin, we obviously took it.

the locals try their best to keep track of the small pod, and we were told that they were last seen on the other side of the cambodian border. we would need to cross over, back into the country we'd just come from. the small wooden dug-out chugged along slowly, fighting the power of the current, for what seemed like several very uncomfortable hours. eventually we reached cambodia and then suddenly, the deafening engine was killed and we floated ashore of one of the many smaller islands.

we climbed off the boat, walked up the bank and there we sat, slightly confused as to what we were meant to be doing there. then as the silence settled, a school of about 10 irrawaddies appeared. they seemed less playful than their bottlenosed cousins, shyly breaking the surface with their stubby snouts and timid fins. and while their less-than-flamboyant natures didn't allow for any amazing photos, it was so special to be there viewing something that few people of our modern times have ever seen.

leaving the island, we floated away for as long as the current would allow us before starting up the engine again. i really appreciated the locals' apparent respect for these animals, and their awareness of keeping distant and quiet. the dolphins appeared to share in my appreciation, and swam right up and around our little wooden vessel as we left.

crossing back into laos, we followed the river's flow until we stopped at another island – on the other side of which, we were told, rumbled the largest waterfall in asia.

khone phapheng waterfall is not high, nor does the water cascade down into a bottomless mist.

what makes this waterfall the largest in asia is its frightening volume of water. the falls are a low wide landscape of deadly rapids.

the spray coming off them travels for hundreds of meters across.

the noise is deafening.

it's like no other waterfall i've ever seen.

‘scuse me waiter, there’s a sparrow in my whiskey

2010-11-23T16:25:00.000+07:00

the next day we woke to a better and brighter life. the river that gushed around us was magnificent. the palms were green, the birds were harmonic. the wooden shutters from our room opened to reveal a lovingly manicured garden of flowers. all was right with the world again.

goodness, don det was just too beautiful and we were itching to explore it. grabbing our day packs and cameras Fathead and I “hit the road” and decided we could circumnavigate the island in a matter of hours. as soon as we left the tiny strip of bean-bagged riverside decks and cafes the island’s landscape opened up to reveal endless fields of fluffy green rice paddies.

the locals lived in simple reed and bamboo huts scattered in between palm trees and fields of water buffalo. the children ran along the dust tracks with homemade wood and wire wheely toys, their adorable toothless smiles greeting us as they scuttled past.

it was gorgeously hot as we wondered further and further along the loop round. we’d been walking for about 2,5 hrs and it was then that, as if to notify us of the halfway mark, an enormous pregnant cloud settled above us, and promptly delivered the monsoon that it’d been carrying.

we ducked under the menial cover of a coconut tree and frantically wrapped our bags in poncho’s. should we wait? we were in the middle of nowhere. nah, we’re going to get wet anyway …
so forward we marched.

the thing about dust roads is that when the rains come, they transform into slippery, shoe-sucking gauntlets of mini rivers and mud. each step had to be slow, so as not to break our only pairs of flip flops. and so we embraced the torrential shower, had leaping competitions of the enormous pools that swelled in the road and basically got soaked to the core.

about 1,5hrs later the cloud was empty and dissolved as fast as it had appeared. the blue skies returned and as we laughed about the ridiculousness of our situation, the sound of giddy singing voices and drumming approached us from behind.

the voices were carried by a local truck – much like the kind we use for open-air game drives, back home. the singing grew louder and as they splashed past us we saw about ten don detans banging empty containers against the poles of the canopy, hands clapping and the happiest mouths wide with song.

100m down the road, the truck stumbled to a slippery halt and arms from all directions waved out of the sides of the truck.

oh yes please! we’ve been saved!

hurriedly we made our way to our knights in rusty armor, who help us clamber up . the truck bounced on, the singing commenced and we were thrust our own instruments of percussion – an upturned bucket and an empty coke bottle.

no one spoke english but we chatted away in laughs and gestures and pats on the back. and then, an old lady flashed us her most menacing smile and handed us a bottle.

“lao-lao” she said, gesturing for us to drink. lao lao is the local whiskey – usually flavoured with some poisonous creature. up until now, we’d seen snakes, scorpions, spiders and bumble bees decaying in knarly bottles of this brownish liquid. but this … what is that? a sparrow?!

Fathead took the first swig and I watched his face to gauge the damage I was about to inflict on my liver. it’d be insulting not to accept this local gift of hospitality … but the smell, and the bouncing roads … and the sparrow …

i took a deep breath and swallowed. it burned. it tasted like ethanol. the truck continued to jiggle us about, and the burning continued its path of destruction down my esophagus.

i don’t remember much more of that ride, but suddenly we were standing outside out hostel, drenched and feeling slightly toxic. we slipped and slid up the stairs to our room, where we found brody and dan – dry and amused at the state we’d arrived in.

laos was off to an interesting start.

click to view FB album

4000 islands

2010-11-23T16:12:00.001+07:00

as the mekong river exits laos, it splits around an enormous network of outrops and islands … 4000 of them, to be precise. some of these are little more than a clump of mangrove trees, other much larger ones are homes to fisherman villages.

it was the second largest of these, don det, that we had decided to make our first destination in laos.
don det is little more than 500m squared. it’s rustic and about as “back to basics” as you can get. one muddy loop road circles the entire island, linking the central rice paddies to a small strip of eateries, chill out bars and river-side bungalows.

by the time we arrived, the sun had set and taken with it all guiding light to the island. Fathead and dan - the gentlemen-, decided that, as they needed a beer after their harrowing bus experience, the ladies should traipse out into the darkness, in search of accommodation.

sans torch and packing a serious fear of snakes I reluctantly accompanied brody on a mission that would lead us down ankle-deep trails of mud and slush. in parts, the grass felt knee-high and the sounds of slithery creatures rose from each icky step we took.

we followed distance lights, scaled wooden cattle gates, knocked on doors and eventually checked into a home for the night. relieved to be getting back to where the boys were now enjoying their 4th frosties, we hot-footed back towards the “main road”.

it was eery enough in the dark, mother nature singing her creepy song that she does when you’re scared and alone and in the middle of nowhere. something shifted across the path, blocking what little moonlight we had. it was big. and then, that big something let out a grunt … the kind of flatulent, guttural noise that only a fak-off big-assed pointy-horned half-ton water buffalo can make.

i may not have been much of a sprinter in high school, but that night usain bolt would have eaten my dust.

crossing kitty

2010-11-23T16:06:00.001+07:00

an early hung-over start was probably the highlight of our day of depature from cambodia. we arrived at the bus station, mentally gearing ourselves for the upcoming 12hr journey into laos, and stared in disbelief at the vehicle before us.

really?... that’s a bus?... for humans?

the ramshackle yellow tin balancing precariously on four wheels, was indeed what we had paid $34 for. so on we climbed.

apparently we were the only westerners who’d been duped into buying these death-wish tickets, so thankfully we were able to stretch out across several empty seats and catch up on some much needed shut eye.
and this is exactly what we did for the first 4 hours of the journey.

it was around minute 247 that my dreams of sirloin steak were shattered by the sound of a bomb blast, somewhere in the region of my right inner ear canal. before my eyes could open, my terrified body had launched itself across seven seats and the aisle where it landed on Fathead’s lap.

heart racing, adrenalin surging, i screamed knowing with all my heart that this was probably the last sound i would make in my life.

the explosion must have been a landmine. or maybe a nuclear war head. i knew this, because my ear drums were still ringing with deafness.

and then i noticed dan and brody groggy and puzzled as to why i’d woken them with the soundtrack to a hitchcock movie. and then Fathead … that stupid, “douglas, what are you up to?” teasing smile that he gets when he thinks I’m the silliest girl in the whole world.

“a tyre blew” he said in that tone that boys get then they know more about cars and are cool and brave and you’re being a wuss cry-baby girl.

“i know … i was just worried about you”, i lied. and of course everybody knew i was lying … it was a good effort mind you, but I think the shaking voice and tears were a bit of a give away.

the bus kept going at the same speed. no attempt to pull over, no need really. why would you if you don’t have a spare tyre in the first place, right? so the journey continued - the ruptured flaps of the burst rubber whacking the underside of the bus with every revolution.

fear turned to distress turned to slight paranoia and eventually, hysterical laughter.
roads turned to dust, and dust to mud.
12 hours turned to 16.

and when we finally reached the port which would take us to our first destination in laos, our “all inclusive” tickets turned to “excluding ferry fees”.
the day turned from bad to worse.

a little on edge … okay, quite fakken livid … I confronted the scam operator, who kindly told me to shut it – yes, I was being ripped off, but I was "european and could afford it".

kitty turned into psycho-crazed deliverer of verbal abuse.

laos

2010-11-23T15:50:00.002+07:00

highlights of cambodge

2010-11-22T19:57:00.002+07:00

our tour through this oft overlooked land was like a shot of stroh rum: quick and powerful with long lasting effects.

if pushed to list the snapshots in my memory bank, I’d recite the following (to name, but a few):

phnom pehn’s happy backpackers hostel – chilled out, dreadlocked creatures of the backpacking underworld, sporting “tubing in vang vieng” vests, chugging down klang beers as they slipped from hammock to river-side lounger.

highway hephalumps – asia at it’s best … elephants walking down four-laned roads, perfectly assimilated with the bustle of regular traffic.

happy-ness – a sprinkle of joy on anything you like … cheerful burgers, jovial fruit shakes, delighted desserts, giggling sauces and just the happiest pizza’s around.

shooting ranges - “may I see the menu please?” … “yes, I’d like two bazooka’s, one hand grenade and … what the hell, 30 rounds with that Ak-47 over there on the wall”

“sorry, just a question – what are those served with? … ear plugs, combat gear and goggles … right, thanks”.

“excuse me? … did you say ‘would I like a cow with that?’ … oh really? you can have a side order of a whole, live cow with your bazooka? … umm, no no thanks – that’ll be all for now”.

well hello there, ladies – sharing a few beers outside a 24hr convenience store with a bouquet of lady-boys … dressed to kill and intent on taking one of our boys for a little “tour” of their city.

fish massage – being bribed by Fathead to experience a “fish massage” … where your legs are submerged in an enormous aquarium whilst hundreds of tiny, carnivorous fish nibble the dead skin from between your toes.

ankor what? – one of the many drinking holes to be discovered along (the aptly-named) Bar Street. Beer towers, graffiti, “waka-waka eh-eh” blaring out on repeat, consistently losing a dreadfully complicated card game introduced to us by dan and brody, and a unrelenting urge to adopt a cockney accent and repeat the phrase “anka? anka wauh?”.

so if you find yourself out in south east asia and fancy a little touch of madness, go for a potent shot of cambodia … neat.

the temples of angkor

2010-11-15T19:19:00.003+07:00

just outside of siem reap lies the world’s largest religious site, and one of the most awe-inspiring ruins of human history .

the temples of angkor.

what remains of “the city” (or angkor) hides in the depths of forested hills and tangles of vine.

the entire collection of temples has now been sectioned off – a sanctuary in which no modern day life is allowed to aid the decay and inevitable disintegration of these incredible structures.

within this UNESCO world heritage site, rests more than 1000 points of worship – the scale of which varies from a humble shrine of stone, to the largest individual religious monument on earth (angkor wat).

it’s modern history is as fascinating as it’s ancient one:

right up until end of the 19th century, the giant beauty lay hid, deep beneath the cover of lush forest. only in 1907 did a team of french archaeologists begin the restoration which would last right up to 1970.

thankfully, during cambodia’s civil war, the temples of angkor were of the very few parts of cambodian heritage that was spared from the khmer rouge’s destruction.

restoration resumed post the end of this devastating time, and has continued ever since with an international collaboration of roleplayers – thanks to whom, we are now able to visit, explore, worship and be inspired by one of man’s greatest structural homages.

only a few years ago, researchers found that angkor was the biggest city in the world (prior to the industrial revolution) occupying an intricately structured space of 1000 square kilometers.

the only other historical site that can come close to measuring up to angkor is tikal (the mayan city in guatemala) and that only measures in at 150 square kilometers.

comparatively in today’s world, angkor is said to approach the size of los angeles and dwarf the island of manhattan seventeen times over.

while the sheer enormity of the site is impressive, it’s the magical, mystical magnificence of the architecture that draws more than 2 million people to the temples of angkor, every year.

how long one chooses to spend here, depends entirely on time, budget and a personal interest in the detail and history behind each site. the permits range from 1, 3 or 7 days and some visitors have been known to utilize the full week, and then renew their pass.

for us, 1 day was plenty of time and allowed us a leisurely exploration through the main temples we’d selected.

we used the 1 days pass across two dates, watching the sun set on the first evening, and then entering the temples at 5am in order to catch it rise again, the following day. before the sun brought colour to the day, we waded blindly through a dense darkness – the surrounding forests soundly asleep.

like pilgrims we waited for that moment of “enlightenment” as the sun began to light up a land beyond the horizon. slowly, steadily the morning came – and before us, emerging first in silhouetted shapes and then suddenly in intricate detail – angkor wat appeared.

being there in the flesh is quite a surreal experience. the silence of eons passed is thick in the air. modern visitors keep humbly quiet as a sign of respect to a civilization who knew so much, who fought without fear, who conquered and thrived and finally, were destroyed.

i felt a great sense of abandonment inside the hollow hallways, empty chambers and staircases that no longer led to anywhere. yet, exploring the intricacies of enormous stone carvings with my fingertips, i imagined a connection to these people, an understanding of their lives.

three highlights of our visit were the famous angkor wat, the bayon and ta prohm.

while it pains me to make this tacky connection, it does help to gain a mental image of these spaces – so those of you born pre 90’s may recall that an indiana jones and lara croft: tomb raider were both filmed at some of these sites.

ta prohm – by far my favorite.
a place of utter wonderment and mystery.

to fathom how such ancient trees managed to sprout on top of these enormous walls, their bulbous roots spilling down the sides, is damn near impossible.

but if you could get close to it, you’d grasp an understanding of how old the ruin is – you’d imagine a whole lifetime prior to these trees which now sprawl like hungry creeper vines along the temple walls.
you’d imagine a world alive – when these walls were filled with worshippers, not ghosts and moss.
you’d imagine a falling seed, and the rains and winds and warmth that would have colluded to germinate the seed to a tree.
and then you’d imagine a centuries of growth – of stretching higher, swelling wider, reaching further, weighing down and down and down onto this already crumbling mass of stone.
and if you got to that point to imagining – you’d understand just why I will worship this temple, forever.

click here to view FB album

a regal couple

2010-10-05T14:25:00.000+07:00

we continued north to siem riep, following the well-trodden backpacker path through cambodia.

it felt like the two cities (siem riep and phnom penh) were cambodia's royal couple:

phnom penh was the gentleman, wizened by experience.
he was contemplative and deliberate.
he determined the laws of his land, protected his people and managed the finances.
phnom penh was proud and well-groomed.
he naturally commanded your respect when in his presence.

his partner, siem riep was a graceful beauty. she too had seen the hardships, but had taken on a more supportive role.
she was the maternal pillar, the womb of cambodia's angkorian civilisation.
despite her age she was gorgeous, her streets aglow with a youthful, positive, progressive energy.
she nurtured her people and inspired the nation to look forward.

i respected phnom penh, but i loved siem riep.

the story of a genocide

2010-09-04T14:52:00.001+07:00

you can't escape the past - especially in a place like cambodia where everything about it has been directly shaped and informed but its troubled and violent past. so, that said - herewith, a brief post-angkorian, modern history lesson:

cambodia has a monarch, called king norodom sihanouk. you'll see on the map i posted a while ago, that the coastal strip is named "sihanoukville", after him.

indochina was given independence from the french, and when this happened, cambodia lost it's hold over the mekong delta, which was given to the vietnamese.

as the vietnam war flourished, king sihanouk declared his position as fence-sitter (although he was considered a communist sympathizer). anyway, he's in beijing on a visit, and a military coup (with the backup of the USA) hop onto his throne and over-throw his rule.

the king appeals to his followers to assist in overthrowing the overthrowers - and this ignited the first sparks of civil war. shortly thereafter, a rebel group called the khmer rouge began to use the king and his cause to gain the support of the people.

unfortunately, the khmer rouge were a bunch of racist, power-hungry madmen - which gave the US a fantastic excuse to get involved, as they do, and bomb the shit out of the country, as they do, in order to flush out the anti-american communists, as they put it.

cambodia was now to suffer relentless bombings and invasions from the vietnamese and US forces, from 1969 - '73. around 2million cambodians became refugees as they fled their home, phnom penh. the attacks created a rebellion / unintentional recruitment drive for the khmer rouge. so ironically, the very movement that the US were so aggressively trying to quash was infact spurned in momentum and supporters, by the US.

when the war came to an end, in 1975, the country was in famine. 75% of it's livestock had been destroyed and any agricultural repair and renewal was left to be done by a nation too malnourished and physically disable to labour.

in a US aid report:

"without large-scale external food and equipment assistance there will be widespread starvation between now and next february ... slave labour and starvation rations for half the nation's people (probably heaviest among those who supported the republic) will be a cruel necessity for this year, and general deprivation and suffering will stretch over the next two or three years before cambodia can get back to rice self-sufficiency".

the capital at its weakest, the khmer rouge pounced on phnom penh and took full power. they changed the country's name to "democratic kampuchea" and invaded all major cities, driving every last person out to the rural areas for forced labour. this is when the crazies really started to come out:

as they attempted to rebuild the agriculture, they based in on the model and practices of the 11th century - discarding any modern knowledge or technologies that had been tried and perfected since then. they refused western medicine and aid - and any other artifact that resembled the west.. they torched every collection of literature, historical records and archives. they pulled the temples to the ground.

of the 8 million cambodians that were left after the war, around 2million were killed during this rule of the khmer rouge - through disease, malnutrition, torture, punishments, executions and exhaustion from forced labour.

during this genocide, the killing fields were named - a cite that we visited during out stay in phnom penh - several mass graves which were filled to the brim with broken bodies - of men, of the elderly, of women and of children. no one could escape the brutality of this ruthless regime. a source of this slaughter was the tuol sleng prison (now a museum, which we also visited). the prison is notorious for its mass executions and one of the most disturbing parts of the museum's exhibition was the millions and millions of mug-shot photographs on display. these were the faces of the victims - a sadistically pedantic system the khmer rouge used to document those they put to death.

further examples of the craziness can be seen in the types of people they were targeting. firstly all minority groups - vietnamese, chinese, muslims.
then all of those really useless public servants - you know, like all the doctors, lawyers, teachers, trained professionals and anyone with a tertiary education.

i found this quote, made by a man called robert d. kaplan and thought it very fitting:
"eyeglasses were as deadly as the yellow star, as they were seen as a sign of intellectualism."

anyway, in '78 cambodia was invaded by the vietnamese and this pushed the khmer rouge to establish their own state of pro-soviet crazies, called the people's republic of kampuchea.

after three years of invasion, cambodia was further split into three divisions: the khmer rouge, the group still led by king sihanouk, and the khmer people's national liberation front.

in the years that followed, the US controlled certain areas, as did the UK. there were major economic sanctions, which crippled the country's recovery even further. the result: a badly wounded, exhausted, diseased nation, crippled and weak, defenseless and senseless, poor, impoverished and uneducated.

by 1989 the world assisted in peace efforts, which took two years. finally a settlement was reached in '91 and the crazies were disarmed by the UN.

old king sihanouk had his throne returned, and has been ruling cambodia since '93. there've been a few hiccups since then, but ultimately this country has made incredible stride to full recovery.

knowing this history puts an incredible perspective on a visit to cambodia. and understanding the kind of torment and genocide it has seen, only makes the progress, the growth and the people's temperament all the more awe-inspiring.

what an incredible country.

^{all factual information sourced via www.wikipedia.com}

more happiness in PP

2010-09-04T13:55:00.000+07:00

we decided the next morning that it was time for some culture, which led us to the royal palace in the middle of this cool city.

phnom penh is a colourful fabric made from the grandeur of an ancient kingdom, interwoven with the modernity of a world city. it's not your sky-scraper landscape either, but rather has an olden-day charm much like cape town's.

the wats (buddhist temples) and palaces have been immaculately preserved, the grounds manicured and kept pristinely clean. it was such a pleasure to view such ancient monuments that had been cared for with such respect and appreciation.

the entrance fees were a little steep and after viewing the royal palace (including the silver pagoda which we so unimpressive that i had no idea we had already been inside it, by the time we left) we decided to give the wallets and culture dose a rest for the day.

back in town, we stopped at the pink elephant for some happy pizza and watched cambodia go about its day. the street that followed the river bank was bustling with happy herb street cafes, hawkers and food vendors kept the sales soundtrack on repeat and then out of nowhere, a mahout and his elephant strolled down in the slow lane.

it's not that cambodia wasn't as poor as people had said, or that the country's scars from the khmer rouge genocide were not still very fresh. they were all there.

but then so were the breathtaking sights and the cheap beer and great food and the amazingly friendly people, and the electric energy and the exoticism of it all with its wats and highway hephalumps.

and of course, there was happy.
everywhere.

and all this together meant that instead of the depression and anxiety we had been told to expect, we felt nothing but utterly happy, really.

happy in phnom penh

2010-09-04T13:43:00.002+07:00

after an hour and a half on the floating customs house of the cambodian border, we finally docked in the river port of phnom penh.

a short tuk-tuk drive later and we were in the heart of the city's backpacking district.

it was here that one of our traveling traditions would be born, one that remains in practice even today:
one person from each couple would stay with the bags, while the remaining two would split up and go forth in search of our new home. this began with dan and i winning the rock-paper-scissors competition, meaning we got to sit back in the fat elephant pub and enjoy an ice cold klang beer, while Fathead and brodes were sent out into the night.

a pretty splendid setup, we both agreed.

(from this point forth, dan and i engineered it so that we were continuously useless at our investigations, and eventually had this authority revoked from our hands, which again, we both agreed, was a pretty splendid setup).

(back in phnom penh): a few beers later and dan and i had bonded over our similarities and become charmed with out differences.

i learnt that they were newly weds and had been together for over 5 years.
he learnt that we were not-yet-weds and had been together for over 6.
they too had done vietnam, and were planning the same route through cambodia and laos as we were.
they liked temples as little as we did, liked beer as much as we did, liked sheesha more than any sane people probably should, and were as daft and batty as we were.

it was a match made in heaven.

i discovered that dan is a fireman (that's right kids, we're that cool: we made friends with someone from the london fire brigade!) and brodie the driving force behind one of london's most successful pubs, Fathead got to know brodes in much the same way.

a few beers down and the room-scouts returned with triumphant news of their accomodation find. just across the road, down a small alley was a backpackers with a large wooden deck afloat on the river. a pool table and internet station occupied the one corner, while the rest was filled with lounge pockets, a big screen tv, hammocks, more hammocks and one long, cheap bar.

happy hostel thus became our new home away from home, and as the name suggested, we were soon to discover just how happy cambodia would make us.

that night we settled down to a few dozen games of cards, shared happy pizza's and mint sheesha, laughed harder than i can ever remember doing and eventually fell into bed with pure contentment: we had met the most fun and entertaining couple, had shared a really good evening with them, had done the kind of laughing that left us gasping in pain and all-in-all were about as happy as we'd ever been. yup, this was the sign of things to come ... cambodia was a truly happy experience for us, in deed.

2010-08-19T15:11:00.002+07:00

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cambodels, baby!

2010-08-19T14:17:00.000+07:00

we followed the delta up into the greater mekong river, which took us across the border of cambodia, into the capital city, phenom penh. this would be our starting point for the journey up this wonderful place.

more on that in a mo - but herewith a map to orientate yourselves with our path.

mekong meanders

2010-08-17T15:06:00.001+07:00

so i know that technically speaking the mekong delta is still in vietnam - but i like to separate the two (mainly because it justifies the jewelry i bought in "both" places as reminders of "both" separate places).

anyway, we left saigon on a bus, which took us to a boat, which took us to another boat which took us up the mekong river, starting in the delta at the south of vietnam, travelling through fishing villages and floating markets for two days.

there was an overnight stop-over in the border town of chau doc, which was so boring and drab and souless that i will neither admit it is part of my beloved vietnam, nor bore you with any more details.

you can't really escape the mekong river. it's enormous and it is the "rice bowl" of south east asia. its banks touch vietnam, cambodia, thailand, laos and china - so if you're in south east asia, you will at some stage be near it, see it, get on it, get in it or go over it to get into another country.

the nations of south east asia have a long history of battles and alliances - but it's thought that the next major conflict will be fought over the mekong. china (as only china can) don't really care about what happens down stream - and are furiously damming up their section of the enormous waterbody. they are also blasting rapids, which is where the mekong catfish is thought to breed. as a result, the numbers of this unique river monster (300kg's of man-eating terror, but also a local delicacy) have drastically dropped in recent years, and now the countries in the south are breeding them in farms and introducing them back into the system.

the effects of china's dams are extensive and far-reaching. they are impacting thousands of communities further down-stream - and although no one out here is too concerned with environmental issues and animal rights, there are obviously huge implications from an ecological point of view too.

as far as rivers go, it's impressive. enormous, deep, slow and powerful. it's like an elephant. you just automatically respect it.

the highlights of this tour up the mekong were:
seeing how the local villagers raise fish in floating farms,
feeding the 100 000 fish as they thrashed about violently trying to eat,
watching them make coconut-candy, rice paper, rice crackers and silk weaves.

number one thing about the mekong river though, was meeting an english couple (brodie and dan). we met them as we crosssed the vietnam/cambodia border and played a game of shithead (cardgame ... get your mind out of the gutter!)

they seemed fun and friendly at the time, and were a welcome distraction from the fact that we'd not been on land for what felt like days. little did we know then, that we were about to make two very special friends - with whom we would spend every waking hour for the rest of our cambodia and laos journeys.

remembering 'nam

2010-08-17T14:19:00.004+07:00

vietnam had an intoxicating effect on us. in short, we loved it.
amazing.
incredible.
you have to go, and you have to stay for at least a month.

it's a country of the senses - and for each there are specific things that you will only hear, smell, feel, taste and see in vietnam.

when i remember 'nam, i will recall the never-ending soundtrack of buzzing engines, "hello - you want a cyclo?", "hello - you want to buy something?", the polite beep-beep i'm coming so get the fak out of the way.

if i close my eyes and imagine i'm there, it's about 50 degrees and i'm covered from head to toe in sweat.

i've got a bowl of pho (noodle soup) in front of me, and an ice cold bia hoi in my hand.

there's a woman somewhere under a conical hat across the street and she's carrying a basket of that strange fruit that looks like wallpaper glue and smells like dribbly bum.

as she calmly strolls into the swarming streets, a thousand motorbikes glide around her. she stops to chat to a friend who is asleep next to his baguette stand.

the streets are lit with a kaleidescope of paper lanterns, and i feel like i'm in a giant christmas tree.

i've spent the day surrounded by rice paddies and tomorrow i'll take a dip in the warmth of the ocean.

i'm fascinated with the markets and the people and the pure genius that i can see all around me. out of pure necessity, they have devised the most creative solutions and it inspires me.

i'm hot, and i'm safe, and i'm excited, and i'm relaxed ... and most of all, i'm just utterly happy.

good morning saigon

2010-08-17T13:54:00.001+07:00

travelers will tell you that if you start in the north of vietnam you'll love hanoi and hate saigon, and if you start in the south - vice versa. i think that because we'd mentally prepared outselves to be disappointed, we were not. it turns out that ho chi minh city (saigon's formal name, according to nobody other than the vietnamese government) is more modern, clean, pretty and open than we had expected.

it's very similar to hanoi, but in the kind of way that your older, cooler, smarter, stronger brother is "very similar" to you. the throngs of motorbikes and cyclos are there. as are the book vendors with their shamelessly photocopied replica's. the conical hats have diminished in their numbers, as have the narrowed streets and tightly packed buildings.

in saigon, there were enormous intersections and wide, green, peaceful parks. here the buildings were not as charming as they were in little bro hanoi - but they were more modern and it felt like we'd suddenly stepped back into the real world, where they have the interwebs, and petrol stations and BBC world news.

and holy moly, do they have the most jaw dropping electrical wiring system in the world. you have never (and i do mean, never) in your life seen so many millions and trillions of black wire nests tangled atop every lamp post.

because saigon's a little more 1st world, it's also a little more pricey. nothing earth-shattering, but it did mean we had to spend more time than usual looking for good rates and cheap eats. one of these spots was in a small alley off the main backpackers district - a characterless hole in the wall called "punjabi" and rrrun by a rrreal hindian, eh! hey men, i tell you wat - it was a hellova ting 'n all (if you're not reading this in an indian accent, go back and read it again). by far the best indian we've ever had - and i remind you all here that Fathead and i both worked in a spice-shop for several years.

one of the days we spent in the war remnants museum (previously named "the museum of american war crimes"). it's not what you'd call objectively representative of both sides - but it is a harrowing, distrubing, eye-opening exhibition of what the war did to this beautiful country. of the many museums i've found myself standing in, no other has effected me with it's exhibitions quite like this one did. it should be compulsory for every visitor to vietnam to spend a day in this place.

the parks are enormous and in the afternoons the locals gather for champion-style tournaments of hakkie sack. well, i say "hakkie sack" only because i have no idea what the real name for it is. but it's basically a few plastic disks which are loosely connnected like a ring of keys, with a few colourful feathers poking out the middle. you then kick the disks to one another, in exactly the same way you would play with a hakkie sack. anyway, these guys are incredible and we spent several hours watching in amazement as they pelted these things for miles across the park.

the people in the south are a lot more ready and eager to join the rest of the world. they wear brandname clothes. they get around on 4 wheels. they have read the latest dan brown novel and are desperate to improve their english so that they can get out there and explore the world. this means that they are also a lot more friendly and willing to talk to you, and we found ourselves on several occasions with a group of students who'd corner us in the park and wanted to chat for as long as we'd let them. it was a really cool way to meet the locals and get a better feel for the flavour of the vietnamese.

admittedly, most of the conversations were spent convincing them that we were definately from south africa, yes we sure were born there, no we are not from america, definately africa, yes the place with the world cup, yes we watched the soccer, yes we know that they only saw black people on the tv, but there were white people in our country - and we were two of them.

we were several days in this vibrant city, and then suddenly we had all but completed our journey through vietnam. what a shame to have to leave this incredible country, but saigon was an appropriately warm, fuzzy and energetic send-off.

the pink panther

2010-08-17T13:07:00.001+07:00

our next destination was a town called da lat. for some unknown reason the name got stuck on "repeat" in my brain, and conjured up the tune to the pink panther - so that whenever i said or read "da lat" i was then left singing "da lat-da lat, da lat ... da lat, da lat, da lat, da lat, da-laaaat duh duh duh duh dum".

and now, i suspect, so will you. a moo-ha ha.

but i digress: da lat. right. not much happening in this place. our first day there was also the first day of rain that we've experienced in this so-called "monsoon season" - so happily, i spent most of it on the interwebs uploading photos to facebook.

the town was pretty small, pretty busy, pretty average and rather unpretty. baffled as to why we had chosen to trek all the way there, we adjourned to our guidebooks for some insight and discovered that just beyond the centre of the town, there were indeed several rad things to see. given the distanced between everything, we also realised that short of hiring a taxi for the day (something our budget simply would not allow) we had no other choice but to rent a motorbike to get to all the places we wanted to.

my dad always made me swear that i would never take drugs or get onto a motorbike - but fortunately he doesn't read this blog ... so if you don't tell him, he won't kill me. also, maybe don't mention this to my mom either ... she likes to worry. a lot.

anyway, turns out that Fathead is very good behind the handlebars of a bike, and after a few hair-raising intersections we had left the chaos of town behind us, and were heading for "the crazy house".

if tim burton was asked to build the house of his dreams, this would be it: a weird, fantasy-inspired maze of twisted staircases and twirling towers. bridges swell and narrow as they cross an enchanting garden, and lead into several different sections of what is now a functioning guesthouse: you can stay in goldylocks and 3 beers room, or in the mush-room.

it felt like we were walking through a salvador dali landscape - only i half expected to find myself following a fluffy white tail down a hole.
originally, hang nga guesthouse (but more aptly named, "the crazy house") was conceptualised by the excentric madam dang viet nga. today it remains in a constant state of construction - an ever-evolving orb of weirdness. it's also earned a very deserved place on the list of the top 10 most bizarre buildings in the world.
from the weirdest place i've ever been, we took a beautiful ride around their central lake and then followed a 5km stretch out to the datanla waterfall. though it was quite small - we still loved it. let's face it: a waterfall is rad no matter it's scale. the mist, the sound, the endless volume ... just really leaves you silenced in awe.

the best part of this particular trek into the country had to have been the self-controlled rollercoaster that we rode through the jungle down to the waterfall. Fathead "drove" (or rather, Fathead did not brake)- and i shattered the tranquility of our jungled surrounds with shrieks of terror.

we spent the rest of the day just enjoying the bike - a new and i must admit, rather thrilling experience. we popped into the emperor bo dai's summer palace which was by far the most drab buliding i've ever seen. well - that's not true. the home affairs office in paarl is probably the drabbest. but the "palace" of brown 70's yukness is a very close second.

nonetheless, da lat (strike up the band) turned out to be a rather enjoyable experience. we had the most divine meals at a restaurant called Tu Ahn's, run by a wonderfully charming (read "off her rocker") woman who would cook you absoutely anything you wanted. we checked out the thoroughly entertaining night market. we even managed to be coaxed into a spot of clubbing in the world's loudest club.

so all in all, "the city of eternal spring" was rather festive - and definately worth checking out as a stop over, before you hit the very south of 'nam running.

vin pearl

2010-08-17T11:56:00.001+07:00

because Fathead had been on such good behaviour i decided that a day on vin pearl amusement island would be a nice treat for him. vin pearl is still part of nha trang city, and is connected to the mainland via a cable-car track that is the largest over-sea system in the world. it spans 3,3km's across the water and the views from up there are just incredible.

the island itself is entirely dedicated to 6 year olds and people of a fathead-persuasion. the usual rollercoasters and bumpercar emporiums occupy a third of the island, another third is dedicated to a beach strip and the remainder is an enormous waterpark - which is where we spent most of the day.

Fathead went down, around, under and over just about every terrifying, death-defying, adrenalin-pumping, heart-stopping ride he could.

i took pictures.

not-so-kak nha trang

2010-08-16T17:43:00.001+07:00

if you had to liken nha trang to anywhere back home, i suppose you could say it was nam's version of plett: not as pretty, as say, knysna with little more than a beach to offer and deprived of it's soul thanks to the throngs of local and foreign tourists - but still a holiday hotspot with all the amenities that this affords.

two upmarket resorts have demarcated their strips of beach, and kitted these areas out with palm-roofed beach sandbars and shaded sun-loungers. a coconut cocktail is a flip of the hand away, as is a tasty (but pricey) meal.

just beyond the tanning bodies, both the sailing club and the louisiana brew house have set up lounge-style restaurants, swimming pools, bars, pool tables and dance floors.
don't get me wrong - i was far happier to be there working on my bronze than sitting at a desk sending an email to a client who neither appreciated the work i was doing, nor the email they were about to receive ... it was just so not what we had come to love about this country.

so we suffered through - sipping fruit shakes, taking dips in the surf, reading our novels, eating crabs steamed on the sand right in front of you (having only been plucked from the seabed minutes before), meeting fellow travellers and losing a few brain cells (only the strongest survive anyway) to consuming a multitude of cocktail buckets - whose potency only became apparent the follow morning.
a few days in, and with a headache that can only be described as atomic, we decided to catch a ferry out into the bay to see some of the surrounding islands, visit an aquarium and dive off the deck into the middle of ocean for some dodgy fruit wine served off a floating bar.

the rough seas exiting the bay were not as therapeutic as i had hoped, so I duly gave lunch a skip as i fought my first bout of "sea sickness" at the bow of the boat. but a brave leap of desperation into the deep blue quickly sorted me out, and the rest of the day/evening was spent with new-found friends chasing yet more deceptively tasty buckets of potency.

on to nha trang

2010-08-16T17:37:00.001+07:00

the food in hoi an was some of the best we found throughout vietnam, and the remainder of our stay was largely spent flitting from feast to swimming pool back to feast, with a spot of night markets and window shopping before finding a pleasant bar on the river bank to finish the day off with a few ice cold larue beers.

several days passed and it was time to continue down the coast, in an overnight sleeper bus, to the coastal town of nha trang.
the transport in vietnam is pretty impressive: far exceeding what you'd expect from a country still clearly licking it's war wounds.
we've since found ourselves on several sleeper busses - which have aircon and comfy chairs that recline all but 180 degrees into an almost flat bed.
with a good book and a charged ipod the 14hr journeys are doable - so long as you don't look ahead at the driver's lack of adherence to anything resembling road safety.
much like the motorbikes, the rules of a 'nam road say,
"you can drive anywhere you want to, in any direction as long as you let everyone know you're there by constantly honking your horn."

for overnight busses this rule can be extended to overtaking three trucks on a blind corner of a mountain pass with your headlights off ("to save petrol").
thankfully the angels, st christopher, my gran and my mom's ring that I wear for good luck all ensured that we made it to nha trang (and every other destination to date), in one piece.

they say that if you travel with your partner it'll "make or break" your relationship. luckily for us, it's doing neither - as i figure we're already "made" and our good times far outweigh the bad ones.

i can tell you this, though - the occasional bad times are as predictable as the tides:

when you spend 14 sleepless hours being jiggled about on a bus, and arrive in a new town at 6am with a desperation for the bathroom that causes blindness, and the driver chucks your expensive backpack into the road mud, and as you battle to maneuver your arms into the day back on your chest and your big bag on your back, ten men surround you with their guesthouse flyers and another seven hound you to get onto their cyclo and all you want is a cup of coffee and a wee ... you will have one if those bad times.
but post-caffeine, and with some guidebook time-out, invariably we orientate ourselves and send one person out to scout for our new home.

this, like many more, was how we spent our first morning in nha trang.

the happiness of hoi an

2010-08-16T17:26:00.002+07:00

hoa arranged for a taxi (his brother took us in his beat up skadonk) to our next stop along the coast, hoi an. this was by far our favorite place in the whole of 'nam.

it's hard to pin point the best thing about this place... i guess because there is just so much to love:
filled with the french charm of an era long since passed, the town has retained all of it's (remaining unbombed) exquisite architecture - whilst still progressing into the 21st century.

one thing we've noticed about south east asia is that wherever you go there are certain things that are synonymous with each place.
you cannot miss them, they will find you.
you cannot escape them because were it not for their existence the town would cease to exist.

for hoi an it's tailors.

i'm not exaggerating when i say that the vast majority of the traders are tailors. they line the streets packed shoulder to shoulder, each spilling onto the pavements with an exhibition of the most exquisite silk dresses, three-piece suits, gorgeous winter coats (worth a look despite the relentless heat) and leather boots and bags in every style and colour.

for a westerner it is shopping heaven.
for any shoestring budget backpacker, however, it is a never-ending torture trip.

there was one dress in particular that kept haunting me, whispering sentiments of bad influence and poor judgement in my ears. I had to have it and were it not for the constant support and guidance of my Fathead, i would.

as a compromise, we decided that we had to at least experience having a garment tailored, so the boy was measured up for two pairs of boardies and I for two small summer dresses. not quite the oscar-red-carpet-show-stopper silk number, i'll admit - but having it done was a super cool experience.
apart from the estimated 500 tailors in the small town, hoi an's charm can be largely attributed to the dinky river that runs through it. by day fisherman go about their family trade, by night the water provides the most picturesque setting for the bar and restaurant strip. with every balcony aglow with paper lanterns, the river reflections at night turn this part of town into the most romantic setting ever.
eiffel tower se moer.

we were to meet up with our friends from hoa's place for dinner on the first night. this also happened to be the night of the SWC final between spain and holland.

while my heart was gunning for Spain, we'd become mates with a loopy dutch couple (who had provided us with hours of entertainment), so agreed to gather for dinner and watch the game from a dutch-perspective, with them instead.

it was 1am by the time the match started.
we were drunk, lost and looking for somewhere with a big screen.
somehow i'd met a group of drunk, lost randoms and been coaxed into having our faces painted orange. then the randoms informed us of a big screen on the beach. so there we went, and shortly thereafter, there we all slept through the first half of the final.

i never saw the actual final but watched the highlights (in the silence of our speaker-less tv) the following morning. i gathered the result, seeing as all the red people looked stoked and all the orange okes, quite bummed. we consoled the dutch duo over breakfast and then began our day.

Fathead made me rent a bicycle (which I have only just learnt to ride, "shocking" - I know - I blame my parents).

he then tricked me by taking a leisurely peddle along the quite and scenic river. to throw off my senses even more, he took me for a peaceful lunch overlooking the water. then, when my guard was sufficiently down, lead me down a back street which spat my gearless, chainless, brakeless mobile out into a throbbing artery of extreme rush hour traffic.

so traumatic was the experience that i've had to file most of the memories into a cabinet hidden deep in the recesses of my brain. i can recall my yelps of pure terror, polite honks of a thousand horns swerving to miss me, sweat pouring down my panicked, furrowed brow and an exchange of words - most of them mine, all of them too impolite to repeat here.

marble mountain

2010-08-16T17:13:00.000+07:00

it took us four days to finally leave hoa's. we'd spent everyday in a state of lethargy on the beach and every night gathered around that table after dinner, playing drinking games and depleting the beers in the "honesty bar".

by the time we left we were so relaxed i feared another day there would leave us comatosed.

on the last night a group of us decided to climb marble mountain for sundowners. the whole mountainside area is a marble quarry which sustains an entire community of local sculptors. as we scaled the highest hill in danang we passed enormous marble buddha's that had been carved out of the mountainside.

the view from the top wasn't half bad - so we took a few shots, cheers-ed ours new friends and watched the sun slip under the horizon.

hoa's place

2010-08-16T17:09:00.002+07:00

our journey down the coast of 'nam continued towards the fourth largest city, danang. as the bus drove through we were astounded by the amount of developments being constructed along the coastline of china beach.

it seemed that everyone from greg norman to donald-fake-do-trump had jumped on the "let's-build-a-resort" bandwagon.

heaven alone knows where all the people, required to fill the endless strip, are going to come from.

the beach is now almost completely colonized by glitzy hotels and overly luxurious seaview villas - each more glamourous and grotesque than the next. my guess is danang's vision for the future is: be the next phuket.

this place was not for us.

okay - so change of plans:
give this tourist trap a wide birth, stay on the bus and get them to drop us off further down the road, somewhere beyond the theme park accommodation ... preferably in the middle of nowhere.

so with bribe money in hand, Fathead went to have a little chat with the driver.

the bus headed on to the middle of nowhere, as requested, and at the foot of marble mountain along a dusty highway, left us standing looking at each other with "now what?" expressions.

we'd read about a place not far from this point of desertion, where a man named hoa ran a backpackers on the beach. it was reportedly rustic but homely, with double rooms for $9 a night. with very little clue as to where we actually were we managed to hail a taxi and request he take us there. bemused, he politely refused - shaking his head and pointing to a small dirt road on the other side of the highway.

so with backpacks strapped to our bodies we wondered down the path. nothing but a local sleeping in a hammock and a few chickens awaited us.

but then, as we neared a dead end with china beach ahead of us, hoa's place came into view.

on the ground floor an open air bar with one large dining table and a few fridges - promising a refreshing beer -greeted us. that and a chatty group of tanned and chilled out travelers who were gathered around the table, awaiting their lunch which was being barbequed under a palm tree outside.

hoa refused to let us check in, "take it easy man" as he thrust ice cold larue beers into our sweaty hands. the afternoon continued in this manner, with each of our requests to check in being answered with another beer.

we soon learned that hoa's world moves to a different rhythm: this man had been on holiday since 1994. our fellow travelers had already adjusted their internal clocks to hoa-time, and a few beers later, so did we.

everyone staying there looked really happy, bronzed with a glow that said "i'm on holiday". we spent the rest of the afternoon hearing how wonderfully empty the beach was, how clear the waters were, how white the sand was.

after our barbecue lunch we sat with hoa, listening to stories of travelers gone by and how he left the real world over a decade ago to start his humble half-way-house on this secluded piece of paradise.

tipsy and overcome by the warmth of his hospitality, Fathead and i exchanged a glance and i knew we weren't leaving this place anytime soon.

finding our hue

2010-07-23T19:00:00.005+07:00

on the sixth of july we arrived in a small town called hue (pronounced "hway"). quite the opposite from hanoi's bustling streets and peddler-filled pavements, this town was more graceful, greener and calmer - a very welcome and much-needed "woo-sa" from the chaos we'd just left.

while Fathead doesn't rate hue as a favourite, it was an absolute hit with me. much older and stooped in ancient history, the lush beauty and understated stature of the architecture just drew me in.

hue was the imperial capital of the nguyen dynasty, until 1945 (when it lost it's rule to a communist government, established in hanoi) and as a result exists as a enormous collection of monuments, palaces and a royal legacy lost through war and time.

divided by a river, the small city thrives in modernity on the one bank, and tip-toes around an abandoned kingdom on the other.

on the day we arrived, we set out to tred the rich historical path that hue is famed for. boasting several of unesco's world heritage sites, we simply had to see what all the fuss was about. in hindsight - taking a few more moments to examine the map with care, however, would have been far more beneficial to our quest.

as a result, we crossed the river on the wrong footbridge, found the giant wall that protects the emperial citadel and turned right - spending the next hour walking in 45 degree heat attempting to find a way in. the entrance, we were to discover a good 4km's later having walked the entire circumference, was actually just to the left of where we had begun.

inside the citadel, the ruined remains of a massive forbidden city - where only the highest of emperors, concubines and royalty were permitted to enter. a few decades ago, trespassers like ourselves would have been put to death as a penalty.

while there are clearly areas that are constantly being restored - the crumbling of the city makes this place a truly incredible one to be.

it was fascinatingly enormous, with gardens and walkways that stretched whole suburbs. the palaces and temples within the forbidden city hint at a time long since passed, where opulence and decadence reigned.

thoroughly exhausted from what must have been a total of 10km's on foot (the flip-flop fitness being tested to the max), we decided to catch a cyclo back across the river to the new (yet equally as charming) part of town.

Fathead (ever keen to practice his haggling skills) managed to bargain the cyclo down to 20,000 dong ($1) and on we hopped to enjoy a scenic cycle through the tree-lined streets.

it was our second ride on a cyclo, and as we perched in the front basket - the dear driver peddling away in the schvitzing heat - Fathead grinned, rather chuffed with himself for striking such a sweet deal, and we remarked how street-smart we were to have avoided being ripped off throughout our time in hanoi.

then we hopped off the cyclo, and Fathead, thrown somewhat by the new and foreign currency, happily handed over a 200,000 dong note (the equivalent of $20).

needless to say, i had the pleasure of enduring our river-side lunch with the uplifting company of one sulky-sue.

never before has so much been paid to one cyclo, for such a short distance.

that night, we strolled through the restaurant-lined streets and picked a beautiful little garden courtyard filled with tanks of tropical fish and faerie-lit trees. the music was enchanting, as were the smells from the kitchen ... and in an attempt to cheer my Fatlip up i suggested we treat ourselves - and at 30,000 dong ($1,5) each why the hell not, right?!

"a seared tuna steak for me, and a chateaubraind for my wounded partner over here"

well i tell you, by the time mine arrived (on a piece of lettuce and a side plate) Fathead had all but devoured his three french fries and was about four minutes into chewing the first mouthful of his match-stick piece of rubber. the "tuna" "steak" was neither tuna nor steak - but rather the lopped-off tail-end of a far smaller common-variety bait fish (you know the kind you catch when you're actually trying to catch something you're willing to eat?)

never before has so much been paid to one restaurant, for such a small meal.

map-reading fail.
money-handling fail.
food-envy fail.

it seemed we were losing our hue ... *da-dum-dish*

but by that stage the giggles had set in, so a few tiger beers and another dinner at another restaurant - and all was well with the world. we bar-hopped for a while, played some pool with the locals and then challenged eachother to a mamoth jenga championship which was so entertaining it had all the bar staff and a few of the lookers-on cheering around us.

i did not win, and as my penalty, was forced to speak in an australian accent for the remainder of the night. at least half of us thought this was hilarious. no prizes for guessing which half.

the following day we trekked through the dong ba market ...

(the usual patchwork madness of strange-smelling fruits, wickerworks and knock-offs)

... where Fathead was cornered by a murder of vietnamese seamstresses, and forced to try on several pairs of shorts as they flapped and squawked about him.

truth be told, he did look a little distressed and i suppose i could have come to the rescue, but then who would have taken the photos?

dinner at a little place (called "ushi") on the backpackers strip restored our faith in 'nam food - and in a jovial spirit we returned to "why not? bar" for round two of the ultimate-extreme-jenga-off.

once again, i did not win - and this time was forced to stand on the street corner and sing "you've lost that loving feeling" to the mortified audience of fellow pavement sippers.

thankfully there are no photo's to prove this catastrophe ever took place.

unfortunately there is a video.

for the full hue photo album, click here

the vietnamese trial

2010-07-21T15:28:00.000+07:00

i realise that when i talk about the different towns we're visiting, it's about as meaningful as taking a black and white photo of a rainbow. so, herewith - a highlighted map of our tour. to date i am (slightly) behind our travels - as in about two weeks behind. but nevermind that ... i intend to get my a-into-g and catch up as soon as i can.

in the meantime, our trip has followed a similar route to the map above - starting north in hanoi from which we took a trip to halong bay, then returned to hanoi for a few more days. an over-night sleeper bus drove us for 14 hrs down to hue ("hway") where we spent about 3 days.

then another bus through (the 4th largest city) danang, where we got it to drop us off 20km outside of the city, at the foot of marble mountain. we intended to stay for a night, but ended up staying for 4 days ... at hoa's place, a magical backpackers on a deserted beach (details to follow).

a short taxi ride took us to hoi an, which was incredible (and definitely our favourite spot so far) - then it was another 11hr over-night sleeper bus to beach-party town nha trang. almost a week lost to the lethal cocktail-buckets in nha trang, brings us to where we are currently - as i post this: dalat.

not much left of the coastline, you'll note - and tomorrow we're back on another bus headed for the city formally known as "saigon": ho chi minh city.

so this should at least help you orientate yourself with the next few posts.

cat ba and monkey island

2010-07-14T12:36:00.006+07:00

waking up on a boat in a still bay isn't a half-bad way to start your day.

it was an early start as we cruised towards cat ba island. approximately 140 km², this is the largest of halong bay's islands and is entirely protected as a national park.

we docked in their small port and duly set off on a "small" trek up the 800m high summit of the island. through jungle vine and leafy carpets we trudged - as our (self-named) guide "monkey man" swung from tree-to-tree fanning the sweaty troops.

while many complained, and despite the fact that my dodgy knee had a run-in with the mountain side, both of us absolutely loved the hike. it was unbearably hot, save the relief we found in the shade of the jungle's canopy. but once you've spent a few days in vietnam, you come to realise that it will always be unbearably hot - and to constantly verbalise this, becomes quite pointless. so we sucked it up, sweated 'til it literally ran down out legs in heavy streams, and enjoyed the (somewhat challenging) climb up to the highest point in the bay.

1,5 hrs later we reached the summit - and surrounding us for as far as the eye could see was a soft wavy blanket of the greenest jungle canopies i've ever seen. it's what i imagine hilton must look like on the two days of the year when there's no mist.

in the hazy distance, halong bay's blue waters were bordered by more jungle-covered islets. it was almost too picturesque to photograph - as it smacked of the most stereotypical, picture-postcard, cheesy moments in paradise. of course, despite this, we snapped away and took plenty of photographs to make everyone back home jealous.

exhausted and limping (thank's to one times gammy knee), we returned to the base, back onto the boat and then headed off for monkey island - our home for the night.

we only found two booking places in the whole of hanoi that were offering a night's stay on this totally private beach, and if anyone is going to do the halong bay trip - take my advice: do not do this tour unless you go to this island.

again - do not do halong bay unless you go to monkey island:

well ..unless you're not into beautifully rustic, wooden bungalows scattered on the beach amongst palm trees and sun loungers.
i mean, if you'd rather not have cocktails in the sea as the floating bar paddled its way over to refill your mojito, then obviously don't even think about it.
and if a massive sea-food barbeque on the beach with the sun setting across your private bay isn't your vibe ...
then seriously don't take my advice.

for the full cat ba & monkey island photo album, click here

ha long

2010-07-12T15:37:00.003+07:00

on the first day of the seventh month, we climbed aboard a bus heading for one of unesco's world heritage sites, ha long bay. we were dropped off in the harbor of ha long city, where we stepped onto the deck of an old wooden river boat ("junk") - the vessel which would carry us across the waters of the surrounding bays.

admittedly the junk was not the best on the bay - nothing compared to some of the flashy floating mansions we came across. then again, with its top-storey sundeck, social dining-cum-bar area and cozy cabins for two it was all we needed and wanted. that and we didn't have the wood lice that the junk next door did.

the cruise began with a floating tour of some of the outcropping limestone karsts that scatter the bay. it truly is a breathtaking part of the world, and once you're away from the other tourists, each seeking to "discover" this piece of paradise themselves - it is silent, untouched ... just perfect.

ha long's total area is 1,553km²and boasts a collection of 1,960 islets that scatter throughout the bay. over 500 million years of weather and wear have shaped these limestone towers into intriguing formations - and left them covered in tropical jungles.

several hours passed as we drifted through the maze, but if felt like "suddenly" we were docked at one of the larger islets. here we walked a short, yet steep trail into the (aptly-named) "surprising or amazing cave". very similar to the cango caves, yet equally as impressive - these caves just went on and on.

the ceilings were so beautifully crafted through time that they looked as though they had been hand-plastered with a generous amount of the old polyfiller.

our guide, tsang (but call him "captain jack sparrow"), spent much of the time using a laser pointer to show us things he "saw" in the rock formations. these shapes weren't actually there, mind you - there really wasn't a rock depicting "king kong holding up the ceiling of the cave whilst munching on a bag of pretzels". but we let him tell us it was.

after the caves, we did some kayaking around the floating villages - an adventure spent largely with Fathead steering us from behind, and me "backseat" driving about how not to do it, and in which direction we should be going. it was a specially-designed test to see how long Fathead could last before klapping me over the head with his paddle and making my disappearance look like an accident.

in my defense, there were hundreds of other junks moving in and around the harbor and docking ports of the floating village and then tiny, little, hard-to-see, easy-to-flatten us in our kayak of two. and we live to tell the tale. so there.

back on the junk Fathead joined some of the others in leaping off the second and third level decks, into the jellyfish-infested pea soup below.

with the swimming done, everyone drip-dried themselves on the sundeck whilst we waited for our on-board feast. as the sun set behind ha long bay, we had dinner and drinks, swapping travel tips with the others in our group.

though captain jack (bless his fish net socks) tried to coax the group into a little late-night karaoke, the party poopers were having none of it - so by 9pm we were in bed, listening to the silence - bar the faint lapping sound of the bay against the boat.

it was heaven.

for the full halong bay photo album, click here

quick tip for side-stepping the commies

2010-07-07T18:26:00.000+07:00

facebook is "banned" in vietnam - making it somewhat challenging to keep in touch and upload photos. however, like most things - there is a way around it: if you do find yourself in a communist country hell-bent on censoring your communication channels, try this website:

http://www.lite.facebook.com

most of the time is works, although - whether it lets you upload pics remains to be seen.

to-ing and fro-ing: wednesday

2010-07-07T18:22:00.000+07:00

caught a taxi to the australian embassy, which was great as we got to have a tour through the surrounding city areas outside of the old quarter. we arrived at the embassy with a kilo of the required paperwork, and the application process seemed to go off without any hitches - so we're hoping that this is a sign of things to come.

stopped in hanoi city-centre to bargain down a price on a bikini - something Fathead gets a kick from (the bargaining, not the bikini ... well, i suppose both).

returned to the old quarter, and purchased a sim card, so we are now contactable on +84 121 303 6296.

we checked out of central backpackers (as it was slightly beyond the budget), and moved down the road to viet fun hotel. it's amazing what you get here accomodation wise. even the cheapest of rooms come with air con, TV, free wi-fi, ensuite bathrooms, clean linen, stocked bar fridges, lock-up safes and cupboards.

after lunch at the hotel we booked our trip to halong bay ($85 each for 3 days, 2 nights all incl.) the tour was for a night on a wooden bruise boat (called a "junk") and a night in a bungalow on a private beach called "monkey island". i intend to post a shit load of pícs in the next few days - so watch this space.

you'll note that we seem to be doing very little more than drinking beer and eating. i assure you, this ís the case. get over it. we're on holiday.

so, that said - we found a very cool spot on the top floor of this enormous building in the middle of the old quarter's biggest intersection.

the "city view" cafe ís situated right next to the hoan kiem lake (the focal point of the old quarter) and we lost hours watching asia's version of the arc de triomphe from a bird's eye view. we enjoyed it so much that we returned later that evening (with paul and amanda) to see the same view at night.

courtesy of http://s3.amazonaws.com

we finished the day off with dinner at "the kangaroo cafe" where Fathead had hís favourite meal to date (stir-fried beef with noodles) and then met up with a few people for drinks at the world's hottest (and smallest) bar where their large bottles of tiger beer sell for 15,000 vnd (vietnamese dong) = just under $1.

to-ing and fro-ing: tuesday

2010-07-04T10:33:00.001+07:00

a quick retrace of our footsteps:

went for a strategy-planning meeting in highlands coffee. drank lime juice over crushed ice - which brought a welcome relief from the heat outside. by 9am is was around fakken hot degrees celcius (real-feel 45 ... no jokes).

went from tour office to backpackers comparing package rates for a trip to halong bay. this is such a diferent foreigner experience to being in korea. they are so jacked for tourists - you can't sneeze without hitting an info centre. it's really useful to have so many places to check prices and transport tickets - as basically everyone here is out to scam someone.

had lunch, our first meal in 'nam, on the balcony of "lucky restaurant". it was absolutely delicious! duck springrolls, rice, side salad, bbq chick...en and beers for $2,50.

drank a beer on a street corner at a "bia hoi" joint. got harrassed to buy a handpainted fan by a woman who was more persistant than herpes.

calle dthe australian embassy and booked an appointment to see them the next day. held thumbs that we would be able to find the embassy and process the visa applications without any more drama.

despite a map from the backpackers, a map from the lonely planet book, a map on the iphone and gps - was got very lost. wandered through streets and markets and walked and walked and walked. it's the best way to explore a city - a wonderful past-time when you have no where to be at no particular time.

eventually found our bearings, made our way back to the hostel and stopped for a beer at "the golden drum" where we sat under fans overlooking the chaos in the streets below. and then the rains came.

pasting our ponchos on (plastic and sweaty skin are a lovely combination, by the way), we walked through the summer down-pour to a fabulous little restaurant called "69 bar-cafe-restaurant". had another amazing meal there, and met two aussie dudes who raved about byron bay (when they heard of our december tour through oz).

returned the central backpackers for the nightly free beer and travel tips. met a rad couple from the uk (paul and amanda), and once the keg ran dry, joined them for a few toots in the world's smallest (and hottest) bar down the road.

first impressions

2010-07-04T10:08:00.002+07:00

before venturing into the streets, we checked out of the 16-sleeper dorm and into a dbl room. yes, the princess in me came out - but when you weigh up the additional dollars vs. what you're "saving" in free beer, we actually made money that way.

the dbl room was meant to sleep two couples, but as there is only one key, we had the palace all to ourselves ... much more room for Fathead to swing his cat in. after the royal couple had moved their bags to the new room, they headed straight for highlands coffe shop for something fruity on ice, and some time to figure out what the hell we were going to do with our day.

most of the morning was spent comparing packages for trips to halong bay and sapa, as we explored the old quarter of hanoi.

this part of town is filled with utter charm - it's been "left alone" with all the architecture and french influence remaining. every building captivates your imagination - how old is that? why was it originally built? who lives there now? what does it look like inside?

old and new live in harmony - with the exquisite detail and style of the tall and narrow buildings, interwoven with modern-day necessity.

vietnamese women with conical hats roam the streets, wooden planks on their shoulders, a reed basket hanging off each end. on every street, local cafes spill out onto the pavements with minute plastic stools and tables. all day and night, these are filled with hot and sweaty bodies of all ages, who gather in the shade to enjoy a local home-brewed beer called "bia hoi".

it's cheap and chips, and if you can get over the fact that it's slightly watered down - there is nothing better than grabbing one, squatting inches off the ground, and watching this amazing city go about it's day. it really is exactly as the postcards depict, although it lacks the "in aid of tourists" element. here, this is real life.

one thing that cannot be separated from "real life" in hanoi is the motorbikes. they are everywhere you look. they drive on both sides of the road, in both directions. they park all over the pavements- which is a godsend, as it means they can't actually drive there. at night, shopkeepers wheel their cycles into their stores, slide down the garage door that covers the entrance, and then retreat upstairs to their residence.

learning to cross the road here was one of the things we'd heard about, read about, had nightmares about. but it's rather thrilling in a death-defying kind of way. if you're ever here, remember this very important piece of advice:

the locals know how to drive.
they've been doing it since they could walk.
they avoid other motorbikes, bicycles, pedestrians, busses, cars, cyclos, tuk-tuks and roaming street vendors everyday. they will be able to miss you. do not try to out-run them, or they will drive into you.

the weirdest part of crossing the road here, is the counter-intuitive way you have to do it:

don't bother with pedestrain crossings - they don't mean anything, they were only put there because there was excess white paint and they didn't want it to go to waste.
don't bother waiting for a gap in the traffic - let me save you the time now, there is never going to be a gap.
you're welcome to look left and right, as the motorbikes are definitely going to be coming from both directions, but don't be fooled into thinking this will actually assist you in any way.
staring straight ahead is best. just walk slowly into the chaos.
don't rush, don't move in different directions to avoid anyone or thing. try not to scream.

for the hanoi photo album, click here

goooooood morning vietnam!

2010-06-29T09:06:00.003+07:00

yesterday we stepped on the ground of four different countries. while a direct flight from seoul to hanoi would really take about 3 hours, we went the shoestring route and as a result flew via hong kong, into bangkok and then finally into hanoi.

as we began our decent into vietnam, the skies around us were alive with a lighting display like i've never seen. it's monsoon season ... which means it rains, alot. and it's so hot, even the air has decided to flee the country.

i can't say very much for hanoi just yet, as all we managed to see on the way in was the usual "airport neighbourhood" and a few dinky streets as we neared our backpackers. so today we plan to explore the city and get a better feel for the flavor of this place.

walking into our very first backpackers, it felt like everyone in the room could smell our inexperience. we put on brave face as we entered the crowded common area - noticing every foreigner had a tan and beer in hand.

a glance at the internet stations had me reeling in a panic attack as i noticed two print outs of previous visitors holding snakes. "i nearly plutzed i tell you!" nervously scoping the room for any evidence of my worst nightmare, i was fortunately unsuccessful in finding any. hopfully this will be the one and only spotting thereof.

once checked in, we were shown to our dorm room - a tight collection of clean and comfortable bunkbeds - in total, each dorm room sleeping 16 bodies.

like two paranoid androids we triple locked every zip and bag, and finally ventured downstairs to meet the other residents.

central back packers hostel

it turns out that this backpackers provides free beer every night - self-poured from a keg which sits on the floor next to the "reception desk" / bar counter. eager to take the edge off our travelling nerves, we helped ourselves and began to settle in.

our fellow travellers all share similar stories - following similar routes through vietnam, laos and cambodia - so it was good to gain some advice from a few people who had "been there, done that".

this morning i rose with a weird sense of not knowing - where i was, what time it was, how i was going to dress and shower, what i should do. so that brings me to here - when after my complimentary cup of coffee and fresh bagette - i decided to do my first blog post of our south east asian trip.

it's 9am and as i type this, Fathead sleeps deeply under the dorm aircon. little does he know he's about to receive a sharp poke in the ribs. the owner of the backpackers has kenny g blaring through the communal lounge and is whistling passionately as he goes about checking people in and out.

it must be about 30 degrees already. right outside of the open-air entrance way there is a small alley leading onto the main road.

the vietnamese are out and about - everywhere. there seems to be a whole world of scooters and hooters and food stalls wafting foreign scents - just beyond the corridor. i can't wait to see it.

so here it begins, i guess. this is what we've spent months planning and saving and working and anticipating. wish us luck.

get to know your neighbours

2010-06-20T18:12:00.004+07:00

click image to enlarge

Via: Online Schools

taegeukgi

2010-06-20T17:13:00.002+07:00

this is the name of the korean flag. phonetically, you'd say "tay-goo-key".

it's quite a fascinating flag, and seen as i've been painting a fair amount of them on the faces of my friends and colleagues, i figured it was about time we researched what it actually symbolised.

it must be one of the most intriguingly recognisable flags in the world - and thankfully, it has quite an interesting story behind it too.

the flag first surfaced back in 1882. it was used to symbolise resistance and independence from japan, so from 1910 - 1945 when the japanese ruled korea, the flag was banned. during this time, ownership of the flag was punishable by death. once korea gained independence, both north and south korea had their own versions of the taegeukgi.

three years later, the northern half altered their flag to be more representative of soviet-inspired symbols:

with the south korean version, the white background symbolises "cleanliness of the people", and the red and blue design in the middle is "the yin and yang" (borrowed from the chinese culture), representing the balance between the negative and positive forces in life. the blue (-ve) and red (+ve) together indicate the continuity of infinity.

the 4 sets of black striped designs are called "trigrams". together, they mean harmony, symmetry, balance and circulation.

to break it down:

courtesy of wikipedia

so there, kids, is your cultural history lesson for the month.

soak it up, put it in your back pocket and bring it up at a dinner party.

dear korea

2010-06-20T11:59:00.004+07:00

to our dearest korea

i'm writing this letter to gather some thoughts, get some things off my chest and to bid your a fond, temporary farewell.

it's been an interesting 6 months. you've been incredibly kind to us, so thank you for this.

korea, you have much to be proud of. you're such a small, remote country - with an enormous heart. your people are mostly aloof and unemotional, yet show such passionate patriotism.

much of your cultural quirks and norms are, in fact, unoriginal. yet you seem to somehow make them your own. i hate to break it to you, but that song that you all sing during soccer matches is actually a remake of the pet shop boys "go west".

sometimes you spell your name with a "c". the rest of the world always spells it with "k". i'm not choosing sides, i'm just suggesting you pick a spelling and stick with it.

oh, and there are a few things i wanted to clear up with you, before i go.

firstly, you need to ask your waiters to clear tables. this is their job. restaurant service should not function as a non-return valve. you can't only bring things to the table ... you need to actually take things away sometimes.

warn your people that when they visit foreign lands, they will actually be required (by law) to stop at red traffic lights. this may be optional in your country, but to the rest of the world - it's kind of the done thing.

in other countries, you will also need to be careful when driving. this includes not watching tv on your gps, and talking on your cell phones. again, only optional here - caution and concentration whilst driving has become quite the trend in most other countries.

kindly advise your people to chew with their mouths closed. it's considered rather gross, the world-over. i know this might seem petty, but many people prefer not to see your food in its initial phase of digestion.

given that your are such a safe country, could you maybe consider trusting people not to steal your toilet paper? you might find it rather convenient to leave a roll or two in each bathroom stall? just a thought.

your musical talents are an advertising fraud created by corporate giants for nothing more than cheeky commercial promotion. it is not "normal" to go to a music concert and have the artists break their performances to promote the latest technology functions on their samsung cell phones.

us waeguks (korean word for "foreigners") prefer to drink hard tack slowly, with a mixer. we don't like to shoot whiskey like it's a cherry-flavoured liqueur.

what are those tasteless circular bar snacks you serve, actually made from?
is it rice? puffed plastic? c'mon ... you can tell me ...

i don't really appreciate the fact that i'm considered 29 in korean age. i'm already having my late-20's crisis ... is it necessary to add on 2 years to my life?

why can't you guys just count age using actual, mathematical logic. you cannot, in any conceivable logic, be 1 year old, the day you are born. even if you must be pedantic about it, you are 9 months at the most. if you are born in november, and the country celebrates its nationwide birthday on february's lunar new year's - you are still only 4 months old, not 2 years.

household fans don't kill people. fact.

but i don't mean to sound negative. i have to say you have opened my eyes to a world of difference, a sense of safety and permanent amusement.

your respect for the elderly has earned you my utmost admiration. a lifetime spanning war and accelerated growth has made them hellova grumpy - but who can blame them? i will forever remember and respect your agro-mama's and itchy-pappas.

until your nation's people hit the age of 30, i have to say, they are quite exquisite. your woman are incredibly beautiful. their skin is flawless (an amazing feat, given the amount of smog in the air), and their petite figures are astounding. how do they stay so slim and slender, with all the candy, cakes, donuts, deep-fried, battered, processed, sweetened and artificial foods they eat?

your beer is amazing, too! who knew that if you use chemicals instead of actual hops to produce your local beers, they won't make you gain weight! hallelujah!

i love the way you voluntarily, and unashamedly, spike your own drinks. your soju is potent and should not be underestimated by any waeguk. a foreigner who thinks that they are harder, tougher and more resilient than any korean-drinker, will swiftly learn their lesson. they may not remember it the next day, but they'll learn.

the children of korea are being groomed into a diligent, highly-educated force to be reckoned with. they will continue to grow korea into the world's technological leader that you are destined to become.
the way that you educate them is tough. i cannot think of many other children who work as long and hard as yours do.

keep it going - they will be incredibly book-smart when you're through with them. just a thought though -
you might want to ease up on the kiddies now and then. maybe let them have a two-day weekend every once in a while? they may enjoy some time spent outdoors. i hear that fresh air and sunshine do wonders for increasing happiness levels.

finally, i should express my gratitude to you.

you've hidden some of your most beautiful parts in remote valleys - which have been an absolute pleasure to discover.

the river rafting adventure was a blast (although i'm not sure the helmets were necessary).

your people have good hearts.
your weather makes sense. it's freezing in winter, and sweltering in summer.

despite your reckless driving, your traffic system seems to function without accidents or road age.
you are a peaceful, content nation.

thank you most of all, for teaching me tolerance. your cultural differences are vast, but i have come to respect them. most of all, i have developed an unwavering respect for you.

you're a nation that, since the end of wwII, has risen from 3rd to 1st world status. you have increased your GDP, employment rate, education system, literacy rate, strength of currency, international ties and international ranking. you've moved from being an aid-receiver to an aid-giver. you have much to be proud of - and the world at large, needs to learn more about you.

we'll be back for further lessons on life, in 6 months.

so for now - it's farewell.

stay safe and keep your eyes on those northern-neighbors of yours.
congrats on kim yu na and the dedicated spirit of your red devil soccer fans.
i hope you kick nigeria's ass in the next world cup game.

bye for now, dae han min guk.

fondest regards
cat
x

upping the anti

2010-06-20T09:58:00.004+07:00

one week left in south korea. i can't believe how the time has flown.
it's a weird feeling ... leaving here. it's been a "temporary stop over" for so long, that now it feels like home away from home.

it's time to pack boxes and backpacks.
it's time to print scan and copy every important document that we may or may not need.
it's time to double check the to do lists, and then recheck them just in case.
and sadly, it's time to say goodbye to friends.

this weekend, we seem to have cracked the major part of our outstanding errands. all that's left is to back up my photos, and clean out our room (which has somehow filled itself with clutter in the space of 6 months).

visiting a semi-english-speaking pharmacy in itaewon, we managed to stock the bulk of our first aid kit ... a collection of medical supplies so frightening, i feel like we're preparing for war.

if you're planning an adventure off the beaten track, herewith is a useful medical aid kit list we found online. i'm hoping we won't need to use most of these, but just in case be a good girl scout and ensure you're packing these:

you'll need a bag to fit all this into. and remove all blister packs and tubes from their packaging. if you're fortunate enough to purchase these from an english-speaking country, then you're laughing. if, like us, all your supplies and their directions for use are printed in korean, then use a permanent marker to identify which cream goes where ... otherwise you might be applying mozzie-repellent to your athlete's foot.

anti-bacterial cream
anti-biotic cream for skin infections
anti-biotics for the trots
anti-fungal cream
anti-histamine
anti-inflammatories
anti-septic cream
anti-spasmodic
decongestants
mozzie repellant
tablets to stop the trots
tablets to give you the trots
scissors
plasters
gauze
thermometer
sterile needles
syringes
safety pins
tweezers
indigestion meds
iodine tablets (for purifying water)
charcoal tablets (for absorbing nasty things and avoiding the above-mentioned trots and clogs)
paracetamol
steriod-based allergy cream
throat lozenges
sunscreen
thrush cream (sorry boys, but trust me ... you'll thank me later)
malaria tablets
plasters
burn gauze
more plasters
safety pins
sewing kit (with needles to pop and poke things)

once you've packed all this, there should be just enough space in your bag for a bikini. maybe.

as if this hefty list hasn't scared the shit out of me enough, we also needed to get a few jabs because of our disease-ridden destinations ... make sure you go to a doctor who knows the areas you're visiting, and double-check that all your vaccinations and boosters are up to date.

when i was 7 and all my friends were getting their booster shots - i somehow managed to evade this traumatising experience.

i wish now, that i'd sucked it up and sorted these out, then. as a result, 20 years down the line, i had to have double the required number of pokes in my arms.

if you're going anywhere in south-east asia - check that you have had the following:

hepatitis A (a series of three over a year)
hepatitis B (a series of three over a year)
typhoid
tetanus
dyptheria
japanese B encephalitis

i don't even want to know what the last disease involves ... sounds pretty rancid ... so it's worth ensuring that you don't get it.

happy, healthy travels and if you're not a fan of needles maybe stick to the major cities ... or stay home.

the other great barrier, down under

2010-06-20T09:03:00.004+07:00

i thought i was being completely organised and forward-thinking, when i decided to start researching the australian visa application process. it was over a month ago, and considering the fact that Fathead and i are only due to enter down under in december ... i saw this as rather proactive.

thank goodness i did start the investigation so soon. little did we know back then, of the tedious string of back-and-forth emails we would need to endure. and they were just the tip of the iceberg.

it started with a inquiry to the global australian embassy, who upon reading that we were south african (and duly ignoring the rest of the email, explaining our dilemma of not actually being based in the country) - forwarded me on, to the embassy back home. from here, i had the delight of dealing with one zweletu, who took a week to respond with a one-liner, asking which passports we'd be applying with.

returning the email she already had, back to her - i highlighted that, as previously stated, we were south africans - and therefore would not be using our uzbekistan passports for the process.

another week went by.

finally, zweletu came back to say that she couldn't help me, given that we were in south korea (like she'd just figured this fact out). rather, she offered helpfully, contact the australian embassy immigration department.

thanks zwe. so, forwarding the original email on, i duly contacted said department.

despite their auto-response email stating that they would get back to me in 48hrs, it was another week of waiting. then, finally, a response!

"good day miss douglas

as you are a south african passport holder, you will need to process this request through our south african embassy."

sigh. thank you mo-fo's. that had not occurred to my pea-sized brain. kindly re-read the below email and assist?

"good day miss douglas

as you are not based in your country of origin, you will need to seek further assistance with the following department:

www.vfsglobal.com/australia/nigeria"

umm? nigeria? nigeria?!

have you people actually looked a a map of the world recently? they moved nigeria to the north-western coast of africa, when the continent broke away from the america's a while back.

so online correspondence wasn't working out for us too well then.

plan b:
call the australian embassy in seoul.

turns out, you can do it here - no problem.
5 working days turn-around time.
730 south african ronds.

problem was, we only 7 working days left until our departure to vietnam, and given that the embassy closes over weekends, we had very limited time to get all documents and dna samples to the embassy, in time to have our passports returned to us by next friday.

despite the tight timings, Fathead and i launched into a panicked attempt to sort things out. so on thursday, during our lunch break we called a taxi to the school and raced into town.

it felt like an episode of the amazing race. the mad rush began at the bank, where our usual session of faux-american accents and plenty of charades managed to communicate that we needed our bank statements certified. then it was off to the post office, where more hand gestures and slow, over-pronounced speech established that this post office did not do what the embassy said "all post offices" did.

for the postal money order, we were told, you would need to go back to the bank. so back to the bank we trekked - through a haze of humid pollution, the sweat now pouring off us. of course, the bank didn't do what the post office said "all banks" did.

we would need to go into seoul for the required documentation. there was plenty of co-ordinated "you go to the ATM, i'll go to grab some lunch, meet me outside the convenience store in 10 mins" (as we only had one cell phone between us, and 20 mins to catch a taxi and be back in class).

in the nick of time - we made it back to school over-stressed, underfed and drenched in sweat.

plan c:
research the possibility of getting the visa's in vietnam. we were told (by the embassy in south korea) that we would not be able to process our applications in a country in which we were not permanent residents.

post several long-distance phone calls to the vietnam and thailand embassies, we discovered that it was, in fact, possible. it would just require birth certificates, medical records, employment contracts, bank statements, blood types, alien-registration numbers, passports, letters of invitation from australian citizens, letters of employment, confirmation of flight details, application forms, detailed itineraries, payment through postal money orders and letters to the embassy promising that we intended to get the fak out of the country - and had no intention of setting up shop down under.

that's all.

this, compared to the vietnam visa's which involved one email and a three day turn-around time. take it and go.

anyway, i guess the harder the process, the greater the reward. hopefully this is the end of the great visa debacle of 2010. at the end of this dark bureaucratic tunnel is a Fathead family reunion where we'll be meeting several new little family members for the first time.

and that makes this all worth it.

i-travel

2010-06-14T18:37:00.007+07:00

when Fathead (aka "gadget-boy") first announced he was buying an iphone, i rolled my eyes and wrote this off as him getting a fix for his EET (extremely expensive toy) habit.

however, and as much as it guts me to say this, "i was not entirely, 100% correct".

since our adventures began, we've used that EET to it's full capability. most notably for it's GPS, subway maps and currency converters. given that seoul is the most connected city in the world - we basically access the interwebs wherever we may be, for whatever we may need to know.

sometimes this is to find the quickest transport route from point a to b. sometimes it's to settle a ridiculous debate with a kiwi about which country really has the highest bungee-jump.

whatever the reason, the point is that it has become a very useful, muchly-relied-upon travel buddy.

so, if you are heading out for a we adventure to a foreign land, if you own an iphone or if you're considering taking the financial plunge and purchasing one - herewith, a list of must-have apps to accessorise your phone with:

shazam
- this (amazing!) app will "listen" to any song that is playing, and then search the interwebs, returning (in 60 secs) with a result of the artist, song title, album name and album cover, song history and artist bio.

skype
- so you can chat and call your family and friends at the same reduced rate that you get off a PC. it's useful to load skype credit to your account, so you can use your iphone as a normal phone and call to international cell phones and landlines.

facebook
- for obvious reasons ... good for everything except viewing photo albums

tweetdeck
- if you're on twitter, this can also be downloaded to your pc desktop. useful for seeing everything all at once.

currency by jeffery grossman
- instantly convert and compare one amount of kazash in as many currencies as you want. very useful!

lonely planet
- includes a free spanish phrase app when you download

news24
- stay up-to-date with the headlines from home (and around the world)

errands ("ToDo list")
- there a plenty of apps like this out there, but this one is pretty rad. helps to keep track of where you are on the list of things you need to get done before / during your travels.

hostelworld
- find backpackers and hostels in any area in the world. gives rates, reviews, star-ratings, photos, maps and gps co-ords. also supplies contact info and you can make a reservation directly through the app itself.

IMDb
- if you are traveling with a media player or external hard drive, and rely on a lot of good movies to see you through the monsoon season and those nights when the budget's run dry - this app allows you to research any movie you may have already downloaded, supplying you with reviews, synopsis and cast info.

fourfree
- free sanity-saving, boredom-reducing games: Connect Four, Othello, Solataire, Shipwreck ... i've just been informed (by the Fathead on my left) that you should also look for "doodle-jump".

whatsapp messenger
- allows you to communicate with all other iphone users in the world, kind of like an exclusive skype. good for when you are looking for cool apps and the like.

accu weather

- download accurate weather forecasts for districts, cities across several countries - so can compare each with the flip of a finger.

then, you can also download phrase books (with audio pronunciations) for any language you may need to learn.

if there is a subway in the city you're visiting, you should also be able to get this, as well as bus routes and train schedules. all are extremely useful when traveling, and make you look like less of the out-of-towner (with an enormous folded out map in front of them.)

hope these help!

good luck - and always remember: even though traveling with your iphone may be awesume, conversation with your girlfriend is always way better.

rad list of travel tips

2010-06-13T21:04:00.001+07:00

we've been doing a fair amount of research for our impending departure (only a fortnight remains until we set off on our south east asian tour).

i've just stumbled across this article. if you are about to / in the middle of / contemplating a backpacking adventure - then read this now. go right through, to the end - the public forum comments are even more useful.

Link to list of great travel tips

bit of a fak up, ey?

2010-06-08T19:56:00.004+07:00

so most of the world shares the view that americans know very little about most of the world. while i too hold this sentiment, i should put in a disclaimer right now - that the majority of americans we've met over here have proved this theory wrong.

i place this disclaimer this upfront, in fear of losing some very dear friends i've had the pleasure of meeting since we came to korea. this being said, i do feel the need to share this (sorry guys!)

i'm sure many of you will have seen this already (if nowhere else, than on my facebook profile a few weeks ago).

anyway, Fathead and i have been teaching adult students this week - a special program the school is running for city council staff members who want to meet foreigners and improve on their englishee conversation skills.

so far it's been a really rewarding, experience for us both. don't get me wrong - it's not that i don't enjoy teaching the little people ... but an adult audience offers an entirely refreshing experience. for one thing, they actually want to learn english. for another, they don't need to be shrilly commanded to wash their hands before lunch. there are, of course, other good points - but i'm sure you can deduce these for yourself.

the point here, is that in Fathead's class today, he was discussing the concept of "stereotypes" and - as the discussion moved to "americans" - one of his students remarked "americans were ignorant".

now i'm not saying i necessarily agree with this ... whole-heartedly. i'm not even saying that there is any truth in it.

infact, i'm not going to say anything more - i'm just going to show you this:

key-you-ta!

2010-06-03T17:00:00.001+07:00

this clip has been keeping me very entertained over the past few weeks. this little dude just rocks my world - and he reminds me of most of the kids we teach every week.

the interwebs say he is japanese - although i find that very hard to believe ... based on the fact that he looks korean, and not japanese. but that's just my opinion.

either way - this is the level of cuteness we're dealing with over here, on a daily basis.

check out my new best ukelele friend.

big iain, yellow cat

2010-05-22T15:09:00.006+07:00

one of the drawcards of snet (the school where Fathead and i have been working since january) was, and still is, the refreshing curriculum.

as we are an english camp, rather than a school, the students are only with us for a week at a time - so the intention is not so much to teach them english, but rather to immerse them in a western world, expose them to different cultures and ways of thinking and provide them with practical english-speaking skills.

the kinds of lessons we teach range from the obscure to the practical: sign language, yoga, cooking and team-building ... broadcasting studio, bank and post office, weather forecasting, travel agency and homestay.

each week, we take on two lessons (split between morning and afternoon classes), with a homeroom class for whom we are responsible and required to fill a more parental/guardian role.

*touch wood* i've been blessed with a long, un-interrupted run of absolutely fabulous groups for homeroom. these sessions are probably the highlight of my working day. a 50 min period where you get to engage, interact, share, discuss, debate, teach and learn. the kids range in their levels of english abilities, but somehow, with every new school we host, i manage to find several amazing young minds which blow mine.

in these homeroom sessions, we usually task the students with a written journal assignment. if your group is high enough in their english level, you can set them topics like "if i could change one thing in the world, it would be ..." or "which came first, the chicken or the egg?".

last week, the latter topic resulted in one student explaining (in great detail) the controversial debate between the "creative" and "envelope" theories.

the journals are often insightful masterpieces of pre-pubescent thinking. they are mature, naive, troubled and hopeful. very often, because of their limited ability to express themselves fully in a foreign language, i forget that they are actually young adults - with fully-developed opinions and ideas. hormones are racing through their blood streams just as they do in every other child of their age, the world over.

sometimes the journal entries evoke maternal instincts of protection and a need to keep the young, young. other times, they humble me with their candidness. they are always honest, and almost always, incredible.

click images to enlarge

for many of the students, we are the first western foreigners they will interact with - so we tend to become fascinating creatures in their eyes:

we're impossibly tall, have funny coloured hair and eyes, speak in strange tongues and come from mystical lands far, far away.

"I thought that South Africa's people were all black. However it was no!"

to distinguish between Fathead and another teacher who shares his name, the students have labelled him "big iain" (in reference to his height). for no practical reason, they have taken to calling me "yellow cat" and because of my name, i am often depicted as a feline heroine.

last week my homeroom drew me as a yellow supercat, wielding a board marker in the one hand, and (for some reason known only to the artists) wearing nothing but a brick of ramen (two minute noodles) as a fanny-pack.

don't ask.

nobody panic!

2010-05-22T13:39:00.015+07:00

i'm not sure if you've been following the world news lately - but there's been a rather important story unfolding on this side of the globe ...

to catch you up, basically there are two countries - north korea and south korea. in the last century, there was an armed conflict between the two, which came to an end in 1953. however, no peace treaty was ever signed and as a result, the two sides are technically still at war.

since the fighting ceased, the south has flourished into an internationally respected nation. the north, run by a nutcase (kim jong-il) has been sanctioned to the hilt, and has receded into complete isolation from the rest of the world.

kim jong-il ... fruitcake

same-same.

their brothers in the south used to send them aid, with the intention of repairing relations. however, two years ago they stopped the "sunshine policy" as the north became ever more resistant to co-operating with the world and it's anti-nuke efforts.

so the people in the north hate the world, and the world pretty much hates the people in the north. china is kind of fencing-sitting and the americans (obviously) have set up camp and made themselves quite comfortable on the south's border, guns locked and loaded.

about a month ago, there was a south korean military ship that cruised into waters of a disputed territory between the two sides. there was an explosion, and the ship sank - tragically claiming the lives of 46 south korean soldiers. the nation went into mourning, whilst the south korean president vowed that a full investigation would be conducted, and if foul play was proven, he would respond "resolutely".

courtesy of bbc.com

i'm sure you can guess where this is going? so, they put together an international task team (so that the findings would be objective), and the findings were (surprise, surprise) that the explosion was a torpedo from the north.

the north are denying it - but just for good measure, are also saying that if they are given any trouble as a result of it, they are ready and more than willing to go to war.

america has said that the north will not be excused from this act, and will be sent a very clear and strong message that this kind of behavior will not be tolerated by the rest of the world.

china are just repeating the sequence of events in a factual, impartial voice - while japan have joined the american band-wagon.

and the south are holding their breath - waiting for their president, lee myeung-bak, to address the nation with his solution.

what this "solution" will be, in unclear - as the south have a slight dilemma on their hands:

they don't want to go to war, if not for humanitarian reasons then financial ones.
further sanctions on the north would be futile - as there's pretty much nothing left for them to sanction, and it would only provoke the north's trigger-happy finger.
adult discussion is completely out of the question, as the north's leader is even more balmy than that syphillis-ridden mugabe twat.

on the ground, the feeling is un-phased and maybe somewhat oblivious. life goes on as normal, and we probably would not have even heard about all this had it not been for world news broadcasters. i'm still trying to decide whether to find comfort in the calm, or be concerned by it. i'll let you know when i've come to a conclusion. but for now, we keep our eyes glued to the headlines and our fingers crossed. i have no doubt that should things take a turn for the worst, we'll be on the first flight out - and we're only here for 5 more weeks, so we should be fine. i'm pretty sure we'll be fine ... here's hoping.

basically all they need to do is save face, avenge the murder of their soldiers', fulfill international expectations, live up to their promise of "resolute response", maintain the strength of the currency, avoid world war III and send a message to a leader who refuses to hear it.

but like i said, "nobody panic" ...

the glass is half full (of rain)

2010-05-22T12:45:00.001+07:00

lately, most of our time on the interwebs is spent researching our future destinations. it's amazing how many hours you can lose trawling travel blogs, forums and on-line visa providers. lonely planet's website is seeing more traffic, than the koeberg interchange on a friday afternoon.

i've just stumbled upon this article, which i absolutely love. it has such a refreshing way of looking at monsoon season (during which we will be experiencing most of our travels).

let it rain (click to view)

a note from the author

2010-05-16T15:36:00.000+07:00

there's been a marked decrease in the frequency of my posts on this here blog of mine. the reasons are varied - from periods of internet-less-ness (due to server crashes), to bouts of blogger's block.

i've also been doing a lot of back-end maintenance on the blog, while i still have the chance - heaven only knows how much internet access i will have once we're backpacking.

for future reference - all facebook albums will be linked to the F@head files via the strip of pink links you'll find in the sidebar on the right. these take you directly to the complete collection of my most recent photos.

changing view

2010-05-11T16:24:00.000+07:00

spring has finally arrived and our world has been completely transformed. this is the view from our room, and its various phases of metamorphosis.

well, blow me down

2010-05-02T15:28:00.012+07:00

when you first get to korea, just about everything is new and different. you spend most of your time people watching, gazing in awe at the countless examples of strangeness that ooze from every nook and cranny in this odd country.

once you've been here for a few months, the novelty wears off. things that used to floor you, are now largely unnoticed.

you forget that it's not normal to drink beer from a plastic bottle.
you stop having to remind yourself to get toilet paper on your way out of the restaurant to the shared, public toilet.
it no longer strikes you as disgusting to have to throw used toilet paper into a bin, as opposed to flushing it down the bowl.

by now, forks and flattering female footwear are a distant memory.

so once you've reached this stage, it is both refreshing and surprising when you stumble upon something that still tickles the western cynic within. for me, this topic of fascination and amusement has provided us with hours of hilarity. and the funny thing is, it's not a joke.

if i told you that it was a cultural belief, you'd be hard pressed to find it polite to laugh about - right? what if i told you that it is also afforded the reputation of taking many korean lives every year? a recognised killer of the elderly and young. it strikes in summer and leaves families traumatised is its wake of destruction.

not a laughing matter, you're thinking.
you'd be right.

until i told you that this ruthless killer was this guy:

fan death

i shit you not. this is a real, medically accepted cause of death in korea. no joke.

as the temperatures rise in the summer months, so too do the levels of fear and caution around this very dangerous appliance. i'd love to tell you that the fatal blow ('scuse the pun) is a manufacturing fault that causes the fan to burst into flames, engulfing everyone and thing around it in a fatal explosion. however, that would make too much sense. instead, this killing machine uses a far more subtle method of slaughter.

to convince skeptical westerners of this phenomenon, koreans will provide one of the following explanations:

theory 1: when left on overnight in a sealed room, a fan creates a vortex, sucking all the oxygen from the room - hence leading to suffocation.

theory 2: the blades of a fan chop up the oxygen particles in the air, leaving none left for the sleeping victim to inhale.

theory 3: the fan itself somehow uses the oxygen in the air, as fuel - leaving dangerously high (fatal) levels of carbon dioxide in the air.

theory 4 (and my personal favourite): fans cause hypothermia. now i don't know about you, but there are nights in africa where the temperatures are so unbearably high that i would pay good money for a fan effective enough to cause hypothermia.

i will forever treasure the look of utter perplexity, that the kids had the other day, when i shattered their worlds with one simple truth:

"did you know that no other people in the whole world have ever died from fan death?"

"but teacher ... why?"

"well, no one dies from fans anywhere else but in korea"

"haull" (annoying throat noise they make to indicate surprise)

"i don't know ... why do you think that is?"

blank blinking stares.

the belief in fan death is not an out-dated myth, held only by the inbred and village idiots. no,no. fan death is a medically accepted cause of death. it is regularly reported on in the media. well-educated, credible public figures acknowledge and fear it.

so serious is this matter, that the government-funded Korean Consumer Protection Board issued this public safety alert in 2006:

"If bodies are exposed to electric fans or air conditioners for too long, it causes [the] bodies to lose water and [causes] hypothermia. If directly in contact with [air current from] a fan, this could lead to death from [an] increase of carbon dioxide saturation concentration [sic] and decrease of oxygen concentration. The risks are higher for the elderly and patients with respiratory problems. From 2003 [to] 2005, a total of 20 cases were reported through the CISS involving asphyxiations caused by leaving electric fans and air conditioners on while sleeping. To prevent asphyxiation, timers should be set, wind direction should be rotated and doors should be left open."

to combat this crisis, all fans are sold with health warnings and switch-off timers.

a few weeks ago, a friend of ours was down with a very bad bout of the flu. to counter her raging temperature, she slept with her fan on all night. and to counter that, she kept her windows wide open. she did this, not because she had bought into the myth - but rather to ensure that if she did peg in the night her death certificate would not be delivered to her welsh mother stating that her daughter had lost her fight for life, to a fan.

when i decided to write a post about fan death - i gave it a considerable think. cultural differences are very often at the centre of a heated debate over here. especially in the multicultural community we are in. words and their meanings are often interpreted out of context. offense is easily caused without intent. being a westerner in korea, you have to be especially careful to not pass judgment and always be aware that somethings are neither wrong, nor right ... only different.

i could have approached this with more objectivity, yes. i'll admit that it lacks a respectful tone. but had i tried to present this matter to you in any nicer way, i couldn't have given it the ridicule it deserves.

63 years on

2010-04-14T13:06:00.003+07:00

our team co-ordinator and friend is rather actively involved in a voluntary international outreach team who work tirelessly, to grow the awareness of the little-exposed issue of "comfort women".

in the asia-pacific war (1931-1945) an estimated 200 000 asian women (most of whom were korean) were forcefully recruited (through deception and kidnapping) into sexual slavery. these women are / were known as comfort women and for many years, were held hostage, raped, abused, tortured and deprived of food and adequate medical care.

on sunday, we attended the screening of a documentary made about these women. it was shown at this temple in insadong.

the juxtaposition of this peaceful sanctuary of worship and the disturbing personal accounts we heard, only made this issue even more deeply moving and frighteningly eye-opening.

such an atrocious part of history has, for decades, been kept a dark and sordid secret. only decades after the war, one woman spoke out - exposing the harrowing truth about what had happened to her during those years. it was the first time the world had heard of comfort women. following this, other women (now well in their twilight years) have slowly come forward.

in korea, 220 former comfort women identified themselves - only 89 of these are still alive.

courtesy of www.houseofsharing.org

although these women were taken from all over asia, the majority were from here. most of them were between the ages of 14 and 19. comfort stations were established all over military routes - including bases in laos, cambodia, korea, vietnam, the philippines and many in china.

they "serviced" japanese soldiers.

the documentary told the first-hand accounts of 5 of these women. the halmonies (respectful korean term for "grandmothers") spoke of their sexual slavery - being raped day and night by soldier after soldier.

over and above the torment they had to endure during the war years, their stories continue beyond the end of the war. when it finally ended, these women were either massacred or abandoned.   left stranded in foreign lands, with no money, no identity papers, no means of communication, they had no possible hope of ever regaining the life that had been taken from then. some were able to return to their homes, or remarry - but often they were rejected in shame and stigma, by their new husbands and families, once the truth of their wartime experiences emerged.

i had only heard very brief mention of the issue, prior to watching the screening - and as i my understanding if it grew in detail, it was an incredibly hard pill to swallow. watching this documentary makes you feel so angry, sick to your stomach, passionate and helpless all at the same time. the reason for it's screening was to grow awareness of what happened.

actually, to simply state that it did in fact happen in the first place.

to this day, the japanese government refuses to acknowledge its existence. they offer no explanation for these women and their stories. they deny any involvement in the abduction of these girls - despite documented proof that the comfort stations were the "brain child" of the japanese government (established as an initiative to control the spread of STD's amongst their troops). it goes without saying that they also refuse to apologize, or include it in the historical textbooks ... seen as, according to them, "it never happened".

the house of sharing (which is a home for healing for some of the last-remaining survivors) dedicates it's time to supporting the women, both in care and activism.   every wednesday, volunteers and former comfort women hold a peaceful protest outside the japanese embassy in korea. inside the house, there is also a public museum showcasing photographic and video evidence, documents and artefacts, as well as therapeutic artwork by the survivors.

in their protests, programmes and awareness events - they ask only that these war crimes be acknowledged by the japanese government. 63 years on, they have yet to receive a personal apology. 63 years on, the history books remain silent about this sickening truth. 63 years on, and the last remaining survivors (whose entire lives have been shattered, molded, determined and destroyed by this) - are the only, diminishing, voices who are brave enough to come forth and take on a powerful national government like japan's.

as a child of south africa - i only know a history that is filled with violation of human rights, protest, uprising and reconciliation. to come to this seemingly "random" place, all the way "over there" on the other side of the world - and hear of human degradation of this magnitude is mind blowing. why the hell doesn't the world know about this? this was one war, in one part of the world. how many other wars have had similar comfort women systems - how many female lives have been shattered in their wakes? how many women are comforting soldiers right now?

the helpless feeling i mentioned earlier hasn't gone away.
but in a way, this post will help to grow awareness of these war crimes: if you didn't know about comfort women three minutes ago - then at least you're one more person who does know now.

and that's important - not because you know something about what happened to those people, over there on the other side of the world. but because this is living history. this is part of our shared, world history. and even though it's 63 years on, it's not a past reality, but one of the present.

if the truth of this issue isn't spread across the globe, then we run the very real risk of it becoming a future reality too.

to learn about comfort women and the house of sharing, click here.

gallery for the technologically-challenged

2010-04-12T16:04:00.001+07:00

my relationship with the interweb goes through different phases. some weeks are blogging weeks. some are facebook weeks. some are weeks when id' prefer to avoid the interweb all together (usually when the laptop comes down with a virus and i spend most of my time with a finger pressed down on the reset button).

last week was a facebook week, hence the lull in activity on the F@head files. now, i realise that not everyone has access to this part of my virtual life (hi mom and dad). so, below is a series of links which you can click to access all of the albums i've posted since we've been here.

our first few days in south korea

the first fortnight

following this, the next two months

exploring insadong, and the knife gallery

our lunar new year trip to gyeongju

snippy snaps of february

skiing in gohan

party nights in itaewon and gangnam

the SNET team

quiz nights with our team, "the social livers"

st paddy's celebrations

sabiha's visit

the last snow of winter

a pinch of old friendship

2010-03-31T21:19:00.002+07:00

last year, when i told a work friend that i'd be resigning and moving to south korea, she immediately said that she'd make a plan to come via sk on her way to japan. at the time i thought she was spicing (she does make one hell of a biriyani, afterall). it turns out, she was entirely serious, and true to her word she popped in to see us last week.

the day she arrived, it snowed (obviously) and then pee'd down with rain for the next few days - but good ol' sabiha didn't let this get her down.

we were working during the week so i recommended that she go visit gyeongju (you'll remember this post with the night ponds and tombs and temples?). she spent a couple of days there, which she really enjoyed ... so i was rather relieved that i'd managed to point her in a worthwhile direction!

once she was back in the city, we managed to meet up with her in itaewon.

unfortunately for her, this was the weekend of st. paddy's celebrations ... and you know that Fathead and i hate to party in irish pubs. so, with the rain threatening to wash out the st.paddy parade, we dragged her to the smoke-filled wolfhound pub ... where she had to endure a full day of drunkard irishmen wrapped in their flags, painted face and green beer a-flowing.

despite the fact that sab's was surrounded by booze and no-halaal pub meals, she was her usual trooper self. it was just like old times, back in the G2 bar after work ... ciggies and tipsy tales, wobbly old men and loud sing along tunes ...

the next day the sun made a guest appearance, and to repay sabs for her patience and tolerance of the irish debauchery she witnessed the night before, we took her for a daytime tour of our neck of the woods.

we started at snet with a tour of our palatial abode and the surrounding school. she even got to ring the "forbidden bell" (apparently installed for purely ornamental reasons and to collect yellow dust) ...

then we went for a peaceful sunday stroll around yuldong park. along with the sun, came a korean families in their hoards - with two wheelers, three wheelers, baby strollers, walking canes and traditional kites in tow.

look at me with my widdle fwuffy ears ... could i be any cuter?

...and then, of course ended up in the "city centre" where we dragged her ass into another pub - to join our team, the social livers for our weekly sunday quiz night at dublins.

it was a brief time with an old friend ... and it felt as if we were saying goodbye to her as quickly as she had arrived. still, it is amazing how someone's presence (albeit fleeting) can bring with it, a sense of home.

hiking in seohyeon

2010-03-28T15:47:00.001+07:00

the area surrounding our school promises to be quite beautiful (once the snow faks off long enough for the trees to attempt some greenery).

we try (whenever it is humanly possible to withstand the outside temperatures) to explore our surroundings ... and have done a pretty good coverage of it, so far.

a few weeks back, (also read "a few snowfalls ago") we decided to make the best of the sunshine, and headed out to explore the mountains next to our school.

it was so good to be outdoors again - the crisp air cutting through our lungs, leg muscles burning. walking through the trees, it's hard to believe that just a 5min taxi drive away, you'll be in the heart of seohyeon's city. we are really lucky with our location here.

anyhoo, these were the first pics i took with my new camera - so although a hike isn't exactly post-worthy ... i had to make up some kind of excuse to share the virginal shots, right?

footie and minx

maya and Fathead

i tin ari

2010-03-28T15:14:00.006+07:00

in the three months that we've been in south korea, we've managed to save our targeted amount (to date) and seem to be on track. it's been pretty challenging - and at times we've had our wobbly days where all we've wanted to do is break out and indulge in something that would bring us a bit of home comfort.

so it's taken a considerable amount of self-restraint, partner-restraint, sacrifice and season's of how i met your mother to achieve our budgeted target.

anyone considering an adventure like ours, should be warned that it's not all snowflakes and cherry blossoms:

our living environment is ... intimate ... to say the very least. we sleep one floor above the 200-odd children that walk through our doors every week. on either side of our 3 x 5m bedroom, lives another two people in their own 3 x 5m space. the kitchen is four floors down, communal and lacks the general convenience of one's own kitchen. so for this reason, and to save a substantial amount on food costs, we eat in a canteen, along with our colleagues / friends / foes / neighbors / children / management - and not only is the food canteen-quality ... but it's korean-canteen-quality.

the days are long when we work a night shift - but most of the time we view this as a positive way to make the time pass faster.

if you're a whiskey lover, i've got some bad news for you: scotch is so expensive here that there is no way you could indulge your taste buds and save the money you need to. you'll have to switch to the local "beer" which is ... alright ... if you like the taste of synthetic fibers.

if you enjoy a good steak ... i'm afraid there's more bad news on the way. meat is fairly pricey here (compared to back home) and the "meat" in the "food" at the canteen is not the kind you're looking for. trust me.

but all this aside, if you can suck it up for a few months - you can save the funds you need to. and when you do that, you could do something like this:

the F@head itinery:

south east asia

on june 26th fly out of seoul to hanoi (flights booked and paid for).

during july, travel down the length of vietnam and by august, cross the border into the bottom of cambodia, and travel up the country for three weeks.

once at the top border, cross into laos. spend september exploring there, and then enter thailand from the top.

** at some stage, meet up with Fathead's sister and family for their holiday.

travel all the way through thailand for the next month and a half, then cross into malaysia around mid-november.

meet long lost friends from varsity in kuala lumpur and spend 10 days with them as you island hop from langkawi. use the remainder of november to move through malaysia, cross the ocean to indonesia and end your south east asian tour in bali.

on the 10th december, catch a flight out from bali (flights booked and paid for), to sydney. from there, road trip through aus (to brisbane) to spend december and christmas with the Fathead clan.

sound rad?

... yep, i thought so.

s'no more disappointment

2010-03-28T11:45:00.002+07:00

i'm sure you're supposed to give up something around easter time? well, anyway - i've decided to give up being disappointed. i know this sounds a little melodramatic - but you try spending three months willing spring to arrive, and have your hopes and spirits shattered on a weekly basis with the unexpected, unpredicted, unwelcome arrival of snow.

we're now at the end of march (the very month they said spring will start in), and just last week we were minding our own business, going about our daily routine when BAM! the biggest, heaviest snowflakes came flitting down out of nowhere ... it was like they just fell from the sky (sorry ... bad joke).

anyhoo, the flakes fell for around 5 hours straight - leaving everything in its path under 15cm of white powder.

in the beginning, the novelty of snow was enough to make Fathead and i wet ourselves with excitement.
now, not so much.

i've found myself tormented by the fact that every time it snows, spring moves its ETA out to yet another later date. and while snow is pretty and makes all your photos look like postcards - when it melts, it mixes with car-grime and turns to a slushy grey muck.
exhausted trees literally fall out of the mountain side.
it leaves everything wet, and brown.
oh, and the temperatures stay at tourette degrees.

what, you may wonder, is "tourette degrees"?

well, it's quite simply the name i've given to all temperatures below zero. these are so cold that when you step outside, you' re suddenly overcome with a bad spell of tourettes - exclaiming words too foul to be uttered infront of children and the elderly.

but i digress ...
this past week, when the snow popped round - something strange happened. i'm not sure if it was collective cabin fever that drove us all to madness ... but out of nowhere, chaos erupted.

i can't remember how it started, but someone threw a snow ball ...

and the next thing we had built a fort on our balcony and were fielding an attack from the opposite building's roof.

the battlefield expanded to the open-air theater we have on top of rooms, which morphed into a baseball game,

which later saw us sledding down rocky slopes on plastic garbage bags.

by the time we were done, 3 hours had passed and night had fallen. as we returned to our room to defrost in a piping hot shower, i decided that i needed to see the days of snow as a time to remember, rather than time to wish away.

the snow had given us a spontaneous "bonding session" with our colleagues. it had halved the average age of the entire group and brought us all down to an equal level of simple playful beings.

it let us collapse in the kind of laughter that comes from your gut and had given us some of the best fun in months, for free.

i was done with being swept away by the false-alarms of spring, which would only set me up in hope and anticipation, and then crush me by plummeting into tourette degrees again.

from that moment on, i would just go with the flow, and let spring come whenever it intended to.
so there it is - my commitment to abstain from being disappointed.

(but just to be safe, i also removed the "snow effect" from the F@head files)

tee hee.

happy snippie snaps

2010-03-28T08:11:00.006+07:00

meet the newest member of my day pack - mr cannon d450.

he was an early birthday present to me, from Fathead and was purchased at this insane electronics market in yongsan.

well, actually that's not entirely true - you see, we went to yongsan to find the market, but got stuck in the enormous 7-story mall that sits atop the subway station.

courtesy of ian lawrence

we had every intention to leave the building and visit the market, i swear we did. but y'know what Fathead is like with gadgets, and well ... we found this one floor dedicated entirely to cameras, we bounced from stall to stall, negotiating one deal better than the next - and eventually managed to agree on a package and a price (which was less than half of what we would have paid at home).

so now we can capture pics like these:

some might say i'm in my element.

the post for implaceable pics

2010-03-22T22:12:00.004+07:00

sometimes you see something that tickles or intrigues you - so you take a photograph, and for years thereafter it sits in your "unsorted" album - with no place to go, no folder to belong to. you never delete these pics, as they are a reminder of that moment in time ... yet, you seldom share them as they have no real "post-worthiness".

today, i've decided to change this. i dedicate this post to the pics of no place, and to honor them, have invented a new word, too.

let me welcome you to the post for implaceable pics:

just in case you were confused on how to behave in a bar, you can refer to this articulate banner which hangs high and proud in the middle of the vudu bar in gangnam.

elsewhere in vudu bar, the "bitch is back" graffiti inspired this ridiculous photo

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mcdonald's (the empire of evil) uses the ancient and spiritual culture of the east as a theme for it's mcmarketing. kind of makes this poster as tasteless as their "food".

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hair-larious!
a sign outside a salon in gyeongju

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pretty hand-painted motif which you see repeated on all temples

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rubber strip curtains hang outside the parking lots of "love motels" to hide the cars (and their owners) from the street. these motels are frequented by many married businessmen and they playmates for "out of the office" meetings.

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when we can't face another canteen "meal" we make the trek (three floors down) to this - cooking class by day, communal kitchen by night.

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this is the back wall of one of the classrooms. by day we use the broadcasting studio to simulate a newsroom environment - by night, we play ping-pong, get tipsy and use the world map to take silly photographs like this one.

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we see this poster in quite a few bars, and for no other reason than the fact that I love it - it has a place here.

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however ugly some parts of the city may be, i am always touched by the effort that koreans will make to disguise an eyesore with some form of creative-cover up.

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one of my favorite areas in seoul is itaewon. there are many reasons to like this part of town, one of these being that there's a more adventurous architectural spirit that is expressed here. this is the 70's style arch of kitschness that welcomes you to itaewon. it's an arch i'd like to remember driving under. so it too gets a place on the list of implaceables.

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also in itaewon, this building regularly changes it's 3-D on-building accessories. it's like a giant fridge with interchangeable magnets. pretty cool.

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another reason to love itaewon is for this hole-in-the-wall: a turkish take away joint called ankara picnic. they serve "kebabs" which are actually wraps, similar to our shwarma places back home. you can have lamb, chicken or soft serve ice cream - all for 4,000 won. apparently the due of charming young men who run it started out in a street stall. now they have a small restaurant complete with an entertainment system which blares turkish-styled electronic remakes of popular tunes. oh, and it is undoubtedly the most outstanding meal we've had in south korea.

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funky bottle display in wa bar. oddly enough, we had no idea what the pattern "said", until after i took the photo.

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footie looks over the menu outside a restaurant in gangnam.

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it's weird how koreans will leave their laptop outside while they pop into a convenience store, and know with 100% confidence that they can trust everyone outside to leave it be - but they won't trust you with toilet paper. almost every bar or restaurant you go to has tushy tissue waiting for you at the door, which means that you have to let the entire room know that you intend to go to the toilet, and (based on how much you help yourself to), exactly what you intend to do while you're there.

this one carries an inspirational message (for those of you who look to your toilet paper for a pick-me-up):
no need to speak: i always felt that the great high privilege. Relif and comfort of friendship was that one had to explain nothing.

well there you have it. go forth and pee in peace.

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(for those who don't know - this is Fathead's father's first name).

i suspect that we were behind a sign that actually read "sugna" but that's not the point now, is it?
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electronic darts, people!

that's right.

the board is automated with an electronic magnet that holds the dart to the board. when contact is made, it sends a signal to the animated screen above - which works out which player's turn it is, what your score is, what your next shot needs to be, your average throwing speed, strike rate and other utterly useless stats.

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one of our local hangouts has a pyromaniac bartender. he likes to burn stuff. mainly alcohol, which he sprays from his mouth - setting the bar a blaze.

he's rad.

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footnote graffiti on a lamppost at our bus stop.

so herein ends our first installment. i know the pics are random, and at times a little schizo in the way they flowed ... but i did warn you that they were implaceable.

from the foal's mouth

2010-03-14T08:15:00.002+07:00

the kid knows his stuff, what can i say?

kids'll do the darndest things

2010-03-14T07:59:00.004+07:00

every thursday the parents (of the students, taking part in the week-long camp) attend an afternoon tour of the school. it stands to reason, then, that every thursday afternoon, we feel a little more pressure to be on top form. we dress a little more formally ... maybe an extra lick of mascara here, a pair of earrings there.

the parents come to observe how the school works - the different classroom situations, the types of foreign teachers the school has managed to recruit ... basically, to see where their hard-earned money is going and to what extent their little munchkins are benefiting. fair enough.

we obviously do our best to exhibit only the finest of teaching practices - so it's advised that we don't knock the kids about and light up a joint during these specific hours.

the classrooms all have glass walls, so on these afternoons we find ourselves being peered at like a rare species of foreigner in an aquarium tank.

this thursday was one like any other:
dress nicely - check.
smile a lot and be friendly - check.
get the kids to do some kind of activity that shows how enthusiastic and involved they are - check.

so i'm teaching clinic (which involves expanding the students' english vocab on parts of the body) - and i've got the kids playing this drawing game in which there are two teams, racing against each other to construct a complete drawing of a human body on the whiteboard. individuals from each team select a random flash card, read aloud the part of the body that is written on the card (eg: "feet") and then run to the board to draw said part.

<enter the parents>

the game is going swimmingly, with the kids showing great excitement and animation. there are smiles and cheers and the lesson appears to be in the capable hands of this english-speaking creature.

<enter murphy's law>

in the frantic activity of the two teams jumping around, yelling out the answers and running to the board, the teacher turns her back to the drawings and focuses, just for split second, on assisting one munchkin with the correct pronunciation of "belly button".

moments later, as she returns her gaze, her eyes skim across the plethora of engrossed parental stares. she smiles at them, with the confidence of a teacher who is completely in control of her classroom. then, following their stares, she turns to find one of the boys completing his own contribution to the human body ... one very large, anatomically-disproportionate rendering of a penis.

aaah ... kids ... they're great aren't they?

classroom comedies

2010-03-09T16:03:00.004+07:00

i don't usually post very much about our actual jobs. although we've never taught before, it's become a way of life for us over here. we live at school. we play at school . we eat at school. and yes, we work here too. i guess because it's become so much of our routine, i forget that it's not part of yours, and you may like to hear about it every once in a while.

so i'm going to start off nice and slow. just a little something to test the waters ...

now, on the subject of subjects:
remember yours? maths, science, biology.

well things are a little different in this english camp. last week, for instance, footie made his solo-teaching debut with karaoke classes in the mornings, whilst minx-star taught sign language.

the experience taught them more than they taught the kids, i think - considering footie is tone deaf and minx has never learnt to sign.

this week, Fathead is teaching bank and post office, in which the kids will learn how to address a postcard, how to navigate an english ATM, and how to understand exchange rates and currencies from around the world.

me?
i'm teaching clinic which will hopefully leave the kids with an understanding of the parts of the body, the english vocabulary for the different internal organs and medical-related phrases like
"i have a fat head please take me to the doctor".

the leeum

2010-03-08T18:25:00.004+07:00

two and a half months in south korea, and our lives are completely changed. we've gone from a home with a garden to a single bedroom, from private cars to public transport, from african sun to asian snowfall.

the changes have been immeasurable and countless - but one significant shift has been the complete absence of stress and cognitive challenge. no big presentations to a international audience, no conference calls, no tricky negotiations. while this sounds like heaven, the drawback to being in a constant state of chilled-outness, is that your brain starts to porridge somewhat.

in time, you begin to feel a little bit thicker than you remember your "former" self.

to shake things up, we decided an injection of culture would probably assist in stretching our minds - so off we went to the leeum - samsung museum of art.

guests to this museum are greeted by two gigantic brass-cast spiders which crouch atop the roof of one of the exhibition halls. they are frightening in their scale and the knarliness of their texture ... and stunningly impressive for the same reasons.

to give you an idea of scale - i made footie and fathead stand on either end of the larger one (at the back). the abdomen (which is filled with marble eggs) is roughly my height.

in case you were wondering: yes, he is pretending to be under attack of a man-eating spider.

(i would assume that this is the effect that giant spider statues have on grown men. so ladies, should you find yourselves under one of these with your man ... brace yourselves, or bring something to swat them with).

leeum is probably korea's version of the guggenheim or moma. it was established in 1965, and the building itself is of such exquisite architectural style, that it too belongs in an art museum. it was so refreshing to be in a building that had been created, rather than just built. unfortunately most architecture here is seriously lacking in imagination and remains purely functional:

you want somewhere to put something, so you will need a floor, four walls, a ceiling and a door. done.

view from the top of the spiralling stairwell that is the core of the exhibition space

three sections of the building contain different museums - the first devoted to traditional korean artwork, ceramics from ancient dynasties and bronze buddist works.

the second museum houses modern and contemporary works from here and abroad - with an impressive collection of a few well known artists like chuck close, andy warhol, willem de kooning, jean arp, francis bacon and mark rothko.

the third part of the museum is an interactive education centre which draws visitors into the creative process. it was quite a modern and edgey space, and a totally refreshing side of korea - one we've not really seen much of.

fathead reclines in one of the interactive installations where urban waste and scrap have been used to create spaces that play with light and optical illusion

children who visit the museum are given a 3D image kit, on which they can recreate their favourite piece. the depth is achieved quite simply with transparent layers (each carrying a particular colour) which are set apart from eachother.

much to our amazement, the basement revealed an entire underground landscape: indoor corn fields ...

... made you look ... no, this is actually a photographic set ... rather effective though, hey?

the whole world is just awesume

2010-03-01T10:06:00.003+07:00

every morning we toggle between CNN and BBC to keep up with the rest of the world, and every morning, we get this song stuck into our heads.

we love it ... hope you do to.

sorry, we're sold out of "entrepreneurship"

2010-02-26T17:02:00.000+07:00

at the back end of our holiday last week, we set off to a town called gohan - famous for it's ski resorts. i had, against my better judgment, been convinced by Fathead to return the slopes for a second round of skiing.

i will remind everyone that this was only the second time that this sportingly-challenged being attempted ski greatness.

a friend of ours had kindly arranged the trip on our behalf - sorting out accommodation, pricing structures, gear rentals and transport arrangements. you can imagine how this might be somewhat difficult in a country that basically doesn't speak english - so we were rather relieved to have this schlep taken off our hands!

another sparrow's fart start had us back at the same bus terminal we used to get to gyeongju.

another warm and luxurious bus ride, and soon we were in gohan and checking into the high valley hotel.

loom for 6 please?

shortly after settling in, we headed up to the slope - high 1 ski resort

in comparison to the previous resort - high 1 is a monster. it's slopes are breathtakingly enormous. they seem to span across entire mountain ranges. i'd never seen or imagined anything of it's scale.

the only way to navigate the resort is by using an intricate and highly efficient cable car / ski lift system. the design seems to have been inspired by that of a subway - as you have to switch cable tracks and catch connecting ski lifts.

the cable cars (for some reason also called "gondolas") are glass all around, and the views from this height are unbelievable.

the "beginners" slope (which our friend insisted was the right one for my level of ski-pertise) was around 2,8km down a mountain. it was steep, it was winding. it was full of small people (who's skills far exceeded mine).

around the 8th fall, i had all but given up. i was frustrated and alone (seen as everyone else, but this stage, had reached the bottom and was happily enjoying lunch). i took a deep breath and with that, decided i would not let this mountain beat me. so i summoned my inner hero, had a private pep-talk with myself and bravely rose to my feet once more.

my eyes locked forward with a determined glint so powerful, the trees began to shake in fear. it was just the mountain and i up there. no one else. not even the wind dared venture so high.

i adjusted my grip on the poles, positioned my ski's and in a soundless moment, i was gliding down the icy slope with the grace of a raptor in flight.

then i lost the ability to stop, and collided ski-first, with a large cement barrier.

as i lay in a twisted heap of ski's and poles and legs and feet being pulled in directions nature had not intended for them, the slope broken my spirit.

so i unclipped my ski's, propped them under my arm, and began to limp my 2,5 hr downhill hike from hell.

embarrassed, in pain, tearful and defeated - i eventually arrive at the bottom.
i had slipped and slid down 2,3km's of steep snow.

my aches and shame were soaked away for an hour in a jimjilbang (korean spa/sauna). these are fairly common in korea. they usually have treatments available, as well as relaxation lounges, gyms and sleeping quarters where you can spend the night. they also have hot pools - ranging in temperatures between 24 and 45 degrees. the pools are often made from some kind of mineral - jade, red dust clay, gold, marble ... each intended to release, relieve, relax or rejuvenate.

men and women are separated and once inside, everyone is naked. at first it's a little strange (well, for me anyway). but once you're in the pools, and you're having your back massaged by high speed water jets, and you're helping yourself to the many pamper products they display on offer ... you get over it pretty quickly.

the following morning, my ego was still rather wounded, and like the wuss i can be - i declined to venture onto the slope of death for a second helping of ass-whipping.

instead, i wandered into town to uncover the hidden charms gohan might have. shortly into my explorations, i'd seen pretty much all there is to see in this ski-befok dorpie.

the town's existence revolves entirely around the skiing industry. the street (yes, there is only one) is lined on both sides with gear rental stores. each store offers the exact same gear, at the exact same price. each store will shuttle you to the resort, and will collect the gear from you, at the resort.

so, one might draw the conclusion that this is a rather saturated market. one might also see an enormous entrepreneurial opportunity for others to offer something different to the guests in the town.

i don't know - maybe a restaurant. or perhaps a bar. somewhere that people would go when they are not on the ski slopes. perhaps, offer them something they might want when on a skiing holiday ... like, umm ... food, or water, or perhaps even coffee.

but no! the folks in gohan do not appear to think that a tourist on a ski trip might like something warm to drink. or perhaps something to satiate their hunger. apparently, the only thing you could possible need when visiting gohan is a snow board, or a set of skis. that's the final verdict. okay?

couple dressing

2010-02-25T21:44:00.001+07:00

since we've been here, we've heard a lot about "couple dressing". it is, as it says: couples dress the same as each other.

you may think this is quite sweet.
you may think this it is a rather "cool" trend from a foreign land.

sure, okay. i hear you ...

i mean, there's not real harm in a couple wearing the same tracksuits to the gym. i suppose that it could be a pretty cool tradition if couples wore the same golf gear onto the green. i'll even push it far enough to say that if a couple were on an ice-rink, then i'd be rather okay with them wearing the same shade of spandex.

however, korea takes things to another level.

take this (a valentine's shop-window display);

and no ... this is not "out-of-the-ordinary".

this is how lingerie is promoted.

everywhere.

seriously. matching lingerie.

seriously?

gyeongju continued

2010-02-22T20:47:00.045+07:00

outside of the bulguksa temple we met a group of foreign teachers who had been granted a day's leave from their hagwon. we found ourselves united in our struggles to teach in a foreign country, understand korean, appreciate the cuisine, adjust to the differences ... find a bar / restaurant in the ghost town that we were all sleeping in for the night.

chatting about our experiences and travels to date, we realised that although we had much in common with these gents, we were very much better off than they were. our one week of leave blew their minds - as they recounted the rules and regulations that they have to adhere to in their school. the more we spoke (over a meal in a mangy traditional diner) the more acutely aware we became of how fortunate we have been to end up working where we have, with the people we have, in the conditions we have.

it is not all a pretty picture out here. this blog just happens to be coming from the perspective of one very fortunate foreigner.

filled with pity (and relief) with ditched our depressing dinner dates and headed for the imhaejeon site. best viewed at night ... i'm sure you'll agree.

the ponds and gardens of this site were linked together through many separate buildings, which together surrounded the palace of the silla king in 674. they were originally installed along with an artificial hill on which rare flowers and trees were planted, and uncommon birds and animals were raised.

imhaejeon was ued to host royal banquets - and i can't really imagine a more incredible place to do so.

the remaining three palace terraces that have been restored.

an emmaculate small-scale wooden model shows what the entire pleasure garden was thought to have looked like, before it's ruin.

the lotus pond, roughly the shape of the korean peninsula, allowed the king to "view" his entire kingdom, now lit at night to reveal a mirror-image on a crystal clear water surface

on our icy walk back to catch a taxi into the university district (which we later explored by bar-hopping) - we encountered this bottle-shaped stone structure, known as cheomseongdae ("star observation platform"). it is one of the oldest structures in korea, and is also considered the oldest astronomical observatory in all of east asia.

the tower is believed to have been used to trace the paths of stars, predict lunar eclipses and determine weather cycles according to the position of the moon.

the square base is made with 12 large stone slabs - one for each zodiac figure. atop these, granite blocks are stacked, one for each day of the year. including all stones, there is a total of 30 layers, one for each month of the lunar year.

a breakdown of our break

2010-02-22T17:23:00.150+07:00

we entered this holiday with much more pressure than would be expected:

what would we fill our week with? where would we go?

the phillipines? ... no, too expensive (given the fact that every korean goes there at this time of year). so we looked into other holiday destinations - saigon, taiwan, manila... all far beyond our budget. prior to going bankrupt we chose to "keep it local" and decided to stay in SK for the week. which if you think about it, makes sense seen as we're only here for 6 months, and the opportunity for us to do any long distance travel during this time, is unlikely to present itself again.

so during the build up to our break, we stopped at every tourist info centre (okay, we stopped at all three) collecting maps and brochures (most of which were in japanese). subway lines and tour routes were sellotaped to our room wall, and the days were filled with debates on where to go, the duration of each visit and the activities we intended to tick off the ever-growing list.

looking back on the week, we managed to cover a fair bit of ground - as you will see in the following few posts, which i've decided to spread over the next few days as there's too much to try and cover in one go.

that said, we'll start with last friday

blowing off some steam, we celebrated the beginning of our holiday with a wee night on the town

the following day we went to a neighbouring town to book bus tickets for our first trip - a journey that would begin at 5am the following morning. with tickets in hand, we decided to stroll our yatap. this city district is ratherdrab and boring, most of it a repeat of other parts of other urban areas in and around seoul.

still, we gave it the benefit of a good exploration. one thing that is far more frequent in yatap than our area, is the amount of live seafood kept outside quaint dining nooks.

these tanks line the walkways throughout yatap. this on in particular held a weird and wonderful collection of live shellfish ... check out the mammoth mussel-type creatures in the top right. WFT? (click to enlarge)

during our stroll, we bumped into the look-alike of an old friend ... anyone reconise this chicken?

how uncanny is the resemblance?!

last weekend - trip to gyeongju

before the city awoke on sunday morning, Fathead had dragged me out of the warmth of bed, popped me into a taxi, hauled me through the yatap bus terminal and off we set for our first cross-country adventure to gyeongju.

(click to enlarge this map)

we're based just south east of seoul (still considered a district of seoul, actually). where we went was to the far south east coast of the country ... see where gyeongju is?

what's incredible is that you can cross the country in about 5 hrs by bus. you can't even leave the western cape in that much time.

although a short trip, i'm sure you'll agree that 5 hr's in a cramped, smelly, creaky, smokey bus is hell on earth anyway.

fortunately for us, we weren't on that bus. instead, we found ourselves seated in first-class airline seats. luxurious leather couches which received us like the embrace of an old friend. heated seats. foot rests and enough leg room to do the highland fling whilst seated.

it was rad.

we even had on-board entertainment - a gripping reality show detailing the shenanigans of a "naughty boys weekend away".

these guys were crazy i tell you - getting up to the most daring of things ... dressing up, playing "hacky sack" with a purple tinsel poof (manne - maak gereed vir oorlog).

it was wild man! well, the winner - he was the main man - he walked away with his very own stuffed fluffy toy train (with a smiley face).

looka how hapi i am to hab won my new bester plend

when the bus arrived in gyeongju we hopped off into the middle of nowhere and just stood there, looking lost - like two lost tourists who've just been dropped off in the middle of nowhere.

picking a direction (using only our internal compasses, and a came of rock-paper-scissors to determine the winner) we began to roam the streets in search of a coffee shop in which we could dump our backpacks and formulate our p.o.a

however, being the lunar new year, everyone was at home with their families. every soul was out of sight. even the green and red men in the traffic lights had taken the day off.

everyone, that is - except for this ajumama (korean for little old lady).

the elderly dear runs a coffee shop hidden two floors up, behind a billiards room and above a tiny cafe. no neon light, not flashy business sign ... just the humblest, handwritten card announcing that in this nook and cranny, you will find "live coffee".

and in what could have been her living room, we did.

from the rubble pile of back packs and jackets, scarves, gloves, coffees, ashtrays, lonely planet guides and streets maps - we plotted our journey.

first stop, the home in which we would spend the night.

sa rang chae (click for details)

the entrance to our bedroom

do come in and make yourself at home ...

so this is the entrance foyer, master bedroom, lounge and dining area ...

behind you, the front door and courtyard

and through this door sized for asian-people, you'll find the en-suite bathroom

i'm taking the piss though - it was an incredibly beautiful place. this means of accommodation (known as a homestay) is a great way for a foreigner to immerse themselves in the authentic korean way of life.

over 200 years old this characterful home belonged to a couple, mr & mrs choo, who welcomed us with a familiar warmth that we're becoming quite accustomed to.

the courtyard surrounding the guest bedroom is filled with interesting crafts and handmade ceramic bits and bobs. an exquisite, antique chess set lies casually on the breakfast table, whilst ancient artifacts that they've either inherited or excavated scatter the garden area.

inside their home, there is a communal family area where you can access internet, play a game of jenga, try on traditional korean dresses, make traditional crafts, help yourself to breakfast and even, pump your own drinking water from an ancient well around which their house has been built.

Fathead prepares scrambled eggs ... simple, yet one of our greatly-missed home comforts

mr choo enjoys his morning read

eventhough the homestay feels like you're in the depths of korea, the house is a collage of foreign leave-behinds ... a reminder of how many travellers have found themselves sleeping on these floors. small hand-scrawled notes of appreciation and promises to return cover the walls - notes from every corner of the globe.

a favourite of mine - the australian view of the world (this one's for boozy and wheezy)

out in the streets of gyeongju, we found a weird and magical place. with the new year drawing everyone indoors, the town was completely abandoned. never before have we been in anything closer to a "ghost town".

it was such an intriguing experience.

viewing the many craft shops, buddist art galleries, bars, restaurants, clubs, hotels, love motels, chain stores ... it was clear that usually this place is a hive of activity. yet on this day, not even a stray dog was in sight. market places were exactly as their stall owners had left them. it was as if, the entire town has suddenly and without warning, been evacuated.

a little disappointed that we were unable to feel the energy of the place, we took the opportunity to visit the many ancient heritage sites which can be found in any direction you choose to walk.

gyeongju has modernised itself out of a natural progression and necessity - but at the core, it remains one of the oldest and most historically rich areas of south korea.

in and amongst the malls and markets, ancient tombs majesticall rise up - reminding you that beneath the pavings lies a land soaked in history, dynasty rule, blood shed and ritual.

beneath these tombs lie great warriors, noble men and royal family members.

to give you an idea of the scale of these (of which there are many to be found all over the city) - see the two very tiny people standing in the foreground?

bulguksa temple

this is one of the most prominently important temples in korean history. it was built in 774 during the reign of king hyegong. it was the centre of silla buddhism and of prayer for the protection of the country against invasion.

ironically it was japanese invaders who burnt it to the ground in 1593. though the main hall and a few other principal parts of the temple were rebuilt - it was only around the late 60's that it was completely restored.

inside the temple gates, two stone pagodas have been resurrected - both having been excavated from the ruins, both important cultural properties of the silla dynasty. along with these retrieved temple components, two bridges, a gate, two seated gilt bronze statues are also now safely back in their rightful place.

in 1995, the temple was designated as a world cultural heritage site by UNESCO.

i would imagine that in springtime these hills are lush and green and the walkway is filled with cherry blossoms

three gods

mountain spring fills an ancient fountain

as we were there on such a spiritual day, many local families visited the temple to carry out traditional rituals of prayer. inside the temple, no cameras were allowed (obviously) - but if you enlarge this image, you can see some of the buddist monks receiving worshippers affirmations of health and good fortune for the new lunar year.

two turtle necks

i've been to buddist temples before, but this visit was particularly humbling. here, we were welcome observers of very private religious moments, and as such were expected to keep our distance and silence in respect to those worshippers who had come to the temple to use it as it was intended, rather than to view it as a photo opportunity.

sipping from the spring fountain and making a wish of good fortune for the new year, were small respectful gestures we did take part in.

here, Fathead adds one small pebble to a pile - these towers are built up communally, each level representing an individuals' prayer for healthy and happiness in the coming year.

this bell is a replica of the one that was destroyed in the japanese invasion. the original has a dark and twisted legend which tells the story of how when the bell was first struck, it failed to ring. the king ordered it to be recast and when struck again, it cracked.

several unsuccessful attempts were made, until a celestial spirit appeared in a dream to the head priest of the temple. in the dream, it was indicated that the fire spirit dragon needed to be appeased, and only then would the bell ring. to acheive this, a young girl who was born in the year, month, day and hour of the dragon needed to be thrown into the molten mental from which the bell would be made.

this was done - the bell was poured and set - and when struck, the bell did not crack. however, legend says, the sound of the bell's ring resonated with the tortured cry of the young girl, calling for her mother.

okay - i'll admit that's not exactly what you'd call "ending on a high note"

... but despite that disturbing tale, we had an amazingly peaceful and grounding afternoon.

the week the year began again

2010-02-18T18:42:00.003+07:00

sunday was solnal which meant that most koreans returned to their family homes to follow age-old rituals and celebrate the dawning of the new lunar year. for this reason, our school closed its doors for the week -and so Fathead and i happily found ourselves with an unscheduled week's holiday.

as last week drew to a close, the snow came down rather heavily (as seen in the video i posted previously). with no kiddlets to worry about, we took to the grounds surrounding the school for a little recreational creation.

the locals thought we were completely off our trolleys as we bounded about in the snow, making snow angels and gleefully flinging snowballs at eachother. i'm telling you - us saffers stick out like sore thumbs the minute so much as one frozen flake falls.

the canadians' shoulders all slump as they retreat to their rooms,groaning.
the koreans frantically start shovelling and salting the walkways in what seems to be a race between them and the inevitable set in of ice.
and the south africans, well ... we go absolutely bananas.

meet the first snowman we've ever built.

he remains unnamed, but he will forever be awesume.

Fathead recruited a few bucksome young fellows to join him in the great snowball roll of 2010...

and then they decided to push it down the driveway of the school (with me car-spotting on the blind bend). granted this idea never smacked of any greatness, and so thankfully we never got to seeing it through - as the enormous mound couldn't quite make it over the first speed bump.

that night we celebrated our totally undeserved, unearned, unexpected holiday with a wee bit of a shindig in town.

on our way to party pit number one, i spotted these gems in the middle of the main street arcade. this was the opening of a "ladies bar" - and something not at all uncommon to see here (they'll pretty much sing and dance for anything).

one thing i should mention before you watch this:

generally the men in korea are really effiminate.

as a nation vanity runs thick in their veins. it's not at all unsuual to see men and women check out their reflections in mirrors, windows, cellphones (all of which, incidentally come equipped with a "mirror function"). on public transport, woman apply makeup regularly whilst men will adjust their hairdo's and pout for their own approval.

the prettier you are - be you male or female - the better. and i use the term "pretty" as a unisex concept - belienve me ... this nation do not know rugger-bugger. they do not know dark and handsome. they do nknow beastly masculine ...

they do, however, know pretty boy.

tlhe local pop celebrities all look about 14 years old and all have pre-90's dance moves which at home would be reserved for that drunk guy on a wedding dance floor who is intentionally trying to take the piss.

now before you click play ... it's important for you to picture the scene of what would happen just after this performance - were it to take place, say, just outside of loftus versveld, post a blou bulle loss ...

something on the side

2010-02-12T15:50:00.000+07:00

for quite some time this blog's focus has been on our adventures in south korea, but early followers will remember the beginning posts of things that inspired me, that appealed to my sense of humour or that i wanted to share them with everyone i love.

this post is one of the latter.

sun shines through the snowfall

2010-02-12T10:52:00.001+07:00

click to play video

nothing says i love you ...

2010-02-08T20:38:00.004+07:00

... like a "happy new year" gift set of spam

... like a gentle message of inspiration

(click to enlarge "make yourself fucking lovely")

...like defrosting your frozen friends' hands with your "HappyBuy" hairdryer

...like sending your teenage daughter onto the streets to dispense free hugs to passersby

...like thinking your friends are really cool, even when they really aren't

PS:this was not a dress up party. this is what the american GI's are really like out of uniform

... like free drinks at ladies night in itaewon.

and reserving the right to refuse any person for any reas, yo

...like making new best friends with the likes of riad alghoul - an egyptian used car exporter

... like the feeling of safety to be found in a post-party sleepy time on the way home

Sol-nal

2010-02-08T20:08:00.002+07:00

a while back, i mentioned that we were heading for a wee spot of leave due to the korean new year.

well, that time is almost upon us, with the lunar new year celebration due to kick off this coming monday 15th feb.

most asian countries have taken on the gregorian calendar which marks the beginning of every year in accordance with the solar year (like we do in western countries). however, some (including korea) also still recognise their traditional calendar which is based on the lunar (moon) year. so in short, they get to party twice.

the korean new year (called sol-nal) is marked by the first month of the new lunar year. it's also considered as the first day of spring - which means that we are finally seeing the end of the ice age we've been trying to survive since our arrival.

the day of sol-nal is one for renewing and reaffirming one's existence - where ancestors and elders are honored, and an increased devotion to family time is given. most locals will visit their traditional family homes to follow age-old traditions and rituals, while the more modern koreans will leave the country for a week-long bask in the philippines or thailand sun.

an excerpt off the interweb describes the festival with more insight:

" On New Year's Eve, people place straw shovels, sieves or rakes on their doors and walls to protect their families from any evil spirits arriving with the new year. The New Year's day ceremonies begin in the morning with the donning of formal dress (hanbok) by family members. The first component of the day's activities is the rite of charye, or the honoring of the past four generations of ancestors. Food and drink (the exact form of which varies according to regional and family traditions) are offered on a ritual table (charye sang). It is common to see foods arranged according to color (for instance, red food may be on the east side of the table, with white food on the west side of the table). Typically, the food is arranged in the order that it would be eaten during a meal--fruit is placed closest to the living supplicant, to be eaten last (as a dessert) by the ancestral spirits. Rice would be placed on the opposite side of the table as the living, to be eaten first by the ancestors.

Incense is burned, and the living bow before the ancestors in order of family rank. The eldest male makes two deep bows, then a third shallow bow, offering the food and drink to the spirits of the ancestors. The rest of the family follows suite according to rank. It is respectful to turn away from the offerings after this, allowing the ancestors to enjoy the feast without interference. Then the food is cleared and water is offered up.

After this act of reverence is completed, it is time to pay one's respects to the living elders of the family (saebae. This takes the form of younger family members bowing deeply to the elders, first to the grandparents, then the parents, then the uncles and aunts. The bow is accompanied by the New Year's greeting "Sae-hae boke mahn-he pah-du-sae-oh." Usually, the elders give something to the people offering saebae: food, money, drink or something similar. In the old days, these rituals would have been performed door to door, but in today's Korea, family is quite spread out, so Sol-nal offers a family a good excuse to travel back home.

Finally, it is time to sit down to the traditional breakfast, a meal which almost always includes ttok-guk. Ttok-guk is a thick beef broth with thinly sliced rice cakes that have been topped with green onions and other colorful garnishes. Some people eat ttok-guk mandu guk instead, which is ttok-guk with mandu dumplings. Tradition dictates that this food must be eaten in order to turn one year older. This is very important as Korean age is calculated on the New Year. Everyone becomes one year older on New Year's Day.

The rest of the day is dedicated to play, especially for the children. The boys in particular take to kite flying, while the girls see-saw. A favorite game for the day is yut nori (a stick game), and often you will see a "farmer's dance," during which gongs and drums are played to encourage enthusiastic dancers. Sometimes itinerant dance troupes will appear in a rural town to get things moving.

Sol-nal, like New Year's everywhere, is an opportunity to celebrate family and tradition. Through ritual and play, Korean families can put their lives into perspective, realign themselves with their heritage, and prepare themselves mentally for their next year of life."

due to this national holiday, no kiddlets will be attending our school, and as a result we've been given the full week off to realign ourselves and mentally prepare for the next stint of teaching ahead. how festive.

in light of this, our mission for the week is to draw up a list of places to see and things to do - post which we'll evaluate what we can afford in time and money, and hopefully by the end of sol-nal i'll be able to fill these pages with incredible tales of adventure, intrigue and inspiration.

so far, on the wish-list:

- a river cruise down hangnam river
- temple stay (a night in a traditional temple, experiencing the daily rituals of authentic monks)
- temple visits
- a day in a jimjibang (a full day spa where each sauna room is created from a different mineral to evoke different states of health and well-being)
- a night ski
- a day in a traditional folk village
- a walk through a 24hr traditional market
- a hike through one of their famous mountainous regions
- a day in busan (the "san fransisco of sk")
- a ferry to jeju island / volcanic crater visit

okay - so it's a little over-ambitious ... but life's most exciting canvasses are never painted with sensibility.

it's a small world, afterall

2010-02-08T19:27:00.005+07:00

somethings are really simple to do here. somethings "just work". the list of things that have been well-thought out is endless. it does not, however, include getting a cell phone nor opening a bank account.

for these, you'll need medical examinations, alien resident cards, passports and several forms just to get your bank book. you bank book only allows you to withdraw from a specific ATM, and also requires a second pin code (which we only discovered a few weeks after obtaining said book). back into the bank we went, back in the queues we stood. another pin, another form and then finally we were able to draw moola.

this didn't solve our banking needs entirely, mind you. until you have a card you cannot swipe in store (and you know how much i hate paying in cash), nor can you transfer funds home. so it was back to the bank (which does not open on saturdays, and only operates between 09h00 - 16h00 every weekday).

another queque, another charade session to establish that something had "gone wrong" in our initial bankbook acquisition, and now we needed to change all details again and start afresh.

so ... all that said, we've been here for almost 6 weeks, and still have no bank cards.

cellphones are equally as complicated, and require just about as much backing documentation as the banks do.

in deepest darkest africa you can walk into any four-walled structure bearing a coca-cola sign and pick up a sim card for less than a buck.

here, they don't even have sim cards. but all the admin and struggle behind us - we now have cell phones!
can i get a hoot hoot?

yours truly can now be contacted on +8210 2200 0764
(Fathead can be contacted on his number, should you enquire and should he wish to share it).

the schlep of getting the phone has a long and boring story attached to it - so i'll spare you the details. but i will share this part of it:

we walk into our third network provider store, and the korean dudie behind the counter spots my beaded SA flag badge on my back pack:

"where are you from?" he asks

"south africa?" i inquire - we tend to ask that, rather than say it - unsure of whether they have any clue where we're talking about.

"no, i know that - i mean where"

"oh ... cape town?"

"oh right", he says,"i used to live in brakenfell".

i . shit . you . not !!!

it turns out that the cell phone dude from LG went to fairmont high school and lived in sa for 10 years. can you actually handle it?! so the two of us started becoming best friends while the rest of the group (of which there were another 4 people) battled to communicate. eventually my NBF sorted us all out with a schweet deal involving free calls from LG to LG phones (which means that Fathead and i can call each other and most of the other teachers for free).

mr korean van braken suddenly found himself with four simultaneous full-contract sales on his hands. but he did good, made his commission and off the four of us newly-connected beings went.

so like a huddle of dweebs that no one would have talked to in high school, myself and three of the boys here all have matching-smatching white LG phones... upon which you can also watch tv (albeit only in korean)complete with pull out aerials . very random, but there you have it.

it is a small world, afterall.