nothing says i love you ...

 

... like a "happy new year" gift set of spam

  

... like a gentle message of inspiration

(click to enlarge "make yourself fucking lovely")

...like defrosting your frozen friends' hands with your "HappyBuy" hairdryer 

...like sending your teenage daughter onto the streets to dispense free hugs to passersby

...like thinking your friends are really cool, even when they really aren't 

PS:this was not a dress up party.  this is what the american GI's are really like out of uniform

... like free drinks at ladies night in itaewon.

and reserving the right to refuse any person for any reas, yo

 

...like making new best friends with the likes of riad alghoul - an egyptian used car exporter

... like the feeling of safety to be found in a post-party sleepy time on the way home

Sol-nal

a while back, i mentioned that we were heading for a wee spot of leave due to the korean new year.

well, that time is almost upon us, with the lunar new year celebration due to kick off this coming monday 15th feb.

most asian countries have taken on the gregorian calendar which marks the beginning of every year in accordance with the solar year (like we do in western countries).  however, some (including korea) also still recognise their traditional calendar which is based on the lunar (moon) year. so in short, they get to party twice.

the korean new year (called sol-nal) is marked by the first month of the new lunar year.  it's also considered as the first day of spring - which means that we are finally seeing the end of the ice age we've been trying to survive since our arrival.

the day of sol-nal is one for renewing and reaffirming one's existence - where ancestors and elders are honored, and an increased devotion to family time is given.  most locals will visit their traditional family homes to follow age-old traditions and rituals, while the more modern koreans will leave the country for a week-long bask in the philippines or thailand sun.

an excerpt off the interweb describes the festival with more insight:

" On New Year's Eve, people place straw shovels, sieves or rakes on their doors and walls to protect their families from any evil spirits arriving with the new year. The New Year's day ceremonies begin in the morning with the donning of formal dress (hanbok) by family members. The first component of the day's activities is the rite of charye, or the honoring of the past four generations of ancestors. Food and drink (the exact form of which varies according to regional and family traditions) are offered on a ritual table (charye sang). It is common to see foods arranged according to color (for instance, red food may be on the east side of the table, with white food on the west side of the table). Typically, the food is arranged in the order that it would be eaten during a meal--fruit is placed closest to the living supplicant, to be eaten last (as a dessert) by the ancestral spirits. Rice would be placed on the opposite side of the table as the living, to be eaten first by the ancestors.

Incense is burned, and the living bow before the ancestors in order of family rank. The eldest male makes two deep bows, then a third shallow bow, offering the food and drink to the spirits of the ancestors. The rest of the family follows suite according to rank. It is respectful to turn away from the offerings after this, allowing the ancestors to enjoy the feast without interference. Then the food is cleared and water is offered up.

After this act of reverence is completed, it is time to pay one's respects to the living elders of the family (saebae. This takes the form of younger family members bowing deeply to the elders, first to the grandparents, then the parents, then the uncles and aunts. The bow is accompanied by the New Year's greeting "Sae-hae boke mahn-he pah-du-sae-oh." Usually, the elders give something to the people offering saebae: food, money, drink or something similar. In the old days, these rituals would have been performed door to door, but in today's Korea, family is quite spread out, so Sol-nal offers a family a good excuse to travel back home.

Finally, it is time to sit down to the traditional breakfast, a meal which almost always includes ttok-guk. Ttok-guk is a thick beef broth with thinly sliced rice cakes that have been topped with green onions and other colorful garnishes. Some people eat ttok-guk mandu guk instead, which is ttok-guk with mandu dumplings. Tradition dictates that this food must be eaten in order to turn one year older. This is very important as Korean age is calculated on the New Year. Everyone becomes one year older on New Year's Day. 

The rest of the day is dedicated to play, especially for the children. The boys in particular take to kite flying, while the girls see-saw. A favorite game for the day is yut nori (a stick game), and often you will see a "farmer's dance," during which gongs and drums are played to encourage enthusiastic dancers. Sometimes itinerant dance troupes will appear in a rural town to get things moving.

Sol-nal, like New Year's everywhere, is an opportunity to celebrate family and tradition. Through ritual and play, Korean families can put their lives into perspective, realign themselves with their heritage, and prepare themselves mentally for their next year of life."

due to this national holiday, no kiddlets will be attending our school, and as a result we've been given the full week off to realign ourselves and mentally prepare for the next stint of teaching ahead.  how festive. 


in light of this, our mission for the week is to draw up a list of places to see and things to do - post which we'll evaluate what we can afford in time and money, and hopefully by the end of sol-nal i'll be able to fill these pages with incredible tales of adventure, intrigue and inspiration.

so far, on the wish-list:

- a river cruise down hangnam river
- temple stay (a night in a traditional temple, experiencing the daily rituals of authentic monks)
- temple visits
- a day in a jimjibang (a full day spa where each sauna room is created from a different mineral to evoke different states of health and well-being)
- a night ski
- a day in a traditional folk village
- a walk through a 24hr traditional market
- a hike through one of their famous mountainous regions
- a day in busan (the "san fransisco of sk")
- a ferry to jeju island / volcanic crater visit

okay - so it's a little over-ambitious ... but life's most exciting canvasses are never painted with sensibility.

it's a small world, afterall

somethings are really simple to do here.  somethings "just work".  the list of things that have been well-thought out is endless.  it does not, however, include getting a cell phone nor opening a bank account.

for these, you'll need medical examinations, alien resident cards, passports and several  forms just to get your bank book.  you bank book only allows you to withdraw from a specific ATM, and also requires a second pin code (which we only discovered a few weeks after obtaining said book).  back into the bank we went, back in the queues we stood.  another pin, another form and then finally we were able to draw moola.

this didn't solve our banking needs entirely, mind you.  until you have a card  you cannot swipe in store (and you know how much i hate paying in cash), nor can you transfer funds home. so it was back to the bank (which does not open on saturdays, and only operates between 09h00 - 16h00 every weekday).

another queque, another charade session to establish that something had "gone wrong" in our initial bankbook acquisition, and now we needed to change all details again and start afresh.

so ... all that said, we've been here for almost 6 weeks, and still have no bank cards.

cellphones are equally as complicated, and require just about as much backing documentation as the banks do.


in deepest darkest africa you can walk into any four-walled structure bearing a coca-cola sign and pick up a sim card for less than a buck.

here, they don't even have sim cards.  but all the admin and struggle behind us - we now have cell phones!
can i get a hoot hoot?

yours truly can now be contacted on +8210 2200 0764 
(Fathead can be contacted on his number, should you enquire and should he wish to share it).

the schlep of getting the phone has a long and boring story attached to it - so i'll spare you the details.  but i will share this part of it:

we walk into our third network provider store, and the korean dudie behind the counter spots my beaded SA flag badge on my back pack:

"where are you from?"  he asks

"south africa?"  i inquire -  we tend to ask that, rather than say it - unsure of whether they have any clue where we're talking about.

"no, i know that - i mean where"

"oh ... cape town?"

"oh right", he says,"i used to live in brakenfell".


i . shit . you . not  !!!

it turns out that the cell phone dude from LG went to fairmont high school and lived in sa for 10 years. can you actually handle it?!  so the two of us started becoming best friends while the rest of the group (of which there were another 4 people) battled to communicate.  eventually my NBF sorted us all out with a schweet deal involving free calls from LG to LG phones (which means that Fathead and i can call each other and most of the other teachers for free).

mr korean van braken  suddenly found himself with four simultaneous full-contract sales on his hands.  but he did good, made his commission and off the four of us newly-connected beings went.

so like a huddle of dweebs that no one would have talked to in high school, myself and three of the boys here all have matching-smatching white LG phones... upon which you can also watch tv (albeit only in korean)complete with pull out aerials . very random, but there you have it.

 it is a small world, afterall.

 

a peek at the week

this past week was the last week of winter camp.  from hereon we go into normal lesson-plans which run for 1 week at a time.  camp is usually a crazy time, with manic schedules and a demanding pace.  from what we've been told, normal teaching weeks are far more manageable and civilised. so we've much to look forward to then. 

what's great is that we got to experience the mayhem, so now we'll take the next few months of our jobs in our strides.  it's been a whirlwind month.  but we survived.  and we managed to squeeze in a far bit of fun despite the workload.  

outside of work, this week has been rather festive ... for several reasons:

- we finally got cell phones (and there's a whole other story attached to that adventure)

- i learnt to read korean  *kitty d takes a bow*

- we explored a few more towns which were far more interesting and character-filled than our the previous attempt to sight see

so, without further ado ...

monday

as is was one of our 3-day weekends (of which we get two per month), Fathead and i spent monday wandering the streets of a quirky town called insadong.  it reminded me a little of greyton, or parts of stellies - filled with artisan attractions, galleries spilling from every nook and cranny, street vendors exhibiting an array of crafts from jewelry and antiques to porcelain tea sets and wooden carvings. 

the area is just off of a heavily urbanised district, and the sudden contrast makes it all the more charming.  

 

here, the "border" between industry and culture ... a bent building marks the spot

not long into our explorations, we stumbled upon a knife gallery.  not one for museums and/or weaponry - this was a strange choice for me.  however, there was something all too intriguing about a gallery filled with knives. so in we went. 

apart from having what i would imagine is one of the world's largest collection of bladed goods, the gallery had some incredible treasures on display. 

 

this was only one of several rooms -  exhibiting swords categorised by their country or origin (mostly asian).

the detail and craftsmanship was truly beautiful, and almost all of the pieces had some fabulous story behind it.

this one, for instance:

"buff's head" - so named, as the caption below explained, because "this sword is being used to chop off the heads of buffaloes during sacrificial ceremony in nepal" ... which is nice, now isnt' it? 

in addition to the many swords, blades and tools of beheadment - the gallery also had the scariest, creepiest battle masks ... most of which actually put a shiver down my spine.

 

traditional battle armor from japan

even hollywood had a number of displays dedicated to some of the all time cinematic weapon-greats

the sword used in braveheart (you thinking of this scene, right?)

quite a few weapons from those movies that geeks (and Fathead) watch.  the light sabres  from star wars (no, i'm not joking ... really) 

and all of rambo's jungle hackers

we spent about an hour in the gallery, completely engrossed in things that people used to kill other people (and buffaloes) with - and then we stepped back onto the streets. 

 

these food vendors are everywhere - each selling something more intriguing then the last. on the right of this pic, those two big brown blobs are basically plastic pillows, filled with mysterious brown blobs of sticky goo. 

  

  

 

on our way out of the artsy area, we stopped for a squizz at (our first) temple.  no longer in use, they've built a glass casing around it to preserve the relic from industrial ruin and decay.  over the years a bustling city has risen up around it, and the temple now finds itself in the heart of modern day life. 

the jongno tower behind Fathead.  apparently people come here to see it - but seeing as we don't speak korean and they aren't that hot at tourism here, we don't know what happens in the tower, why it's there or when it was built. 

a stone's throw from the tower of many unanswered questions, is the wongaksa temple.

Fathead calls this tomb "crouching tortoise, recessed pit"

the temple itself is a materpiece - so intricate in detail that it looks like its been embroidered together.

back in town, the city was starting to wake from its day indoors - and the streets began to fill.  many restaurants lay dormant during daylight, and then suddenly light up and welcome you in. 

most have a display cabinet outside, exhibiting the full menu on offer.  the food on display is all plastic, molded to appear to be fresh and real and even disguised under cling-wrap in an attempt to make it look genuine.

feeling like a wee tipple could be enjoyed, we hoped onto the subway and headed off to a town closer to "home". i've no doubt that itaewon will be a regular stop for us, so i'll tell you more about that town at a later stage. 

anyway, in itaewon Fathead and i found a number of charming little pubs, where we met a few friendly folk and watched the day turn into night. 

  

tired and tipsy, the two foreigners expertly caught a cab to the bus station and with a quiet confidence that comes from experience - waltzed into the booth to await the next connecting 9401 bus.  people around us marveled at the skill and ease with which we were executing the journey home. 

and it was only about 45 mins later, when the frost had returned sobriety to our brains, that we realised we were in the wrong bus shelter and the 9401 stop was two highways and a twenty minute walk away.

past week's pics

on our walkabouts, we've discovered a golf course (previously hidden beneath the snow).  at the moment, hitting your ball into the "water" is not a train smash - as it'll just bounce across the ice to the bit of brown you were probably aiming for.

_______________________

post-it cafe: a coffee shop window filled with love notes exchanged by patrons.

_______________________

isaac's store has a lot to offer ...

"the happiness together", for one.  

"toast and fruit fresh juice vs cafe" for another.

 

____________________________

friday

we had a farewell night out for one of the korean-aussie teachers (monica), who was returning to her home. the festiviness started in a restaurant called huge where the very drunk manager kept giving us (the token foreigners) more free food and drink!

 

very drunk manager (on the right) telling us he was bringing another two bottles of j&b rare to the table. 

it was a tragedy i tell you.

monica (farewell-girl) and rachel (fellow korean teacher)

fellow teachers, quite chuffed with the free-bies 

the free whisky and cocktails put an interesting spin on the rest of the evening - leading us down the dark and tempting path of a karaoke bar where we hired a private lounge, piled about 20 of us on top of each other and spent a few hours making complete asses of ourselves.  

naturally, i had to open the singing spectacular with my very own rendition of george michael's "faith".  there were tears of joy.  there were tears of fear.  

post-voluntary-humiliation, we ended up in one of their dodgy clubs ... aptly named lose control.

___________________
sunday

when we'd recovered from our friday tomfoolery, Fathead and i put on our explorer boots and hopped onto the subway.  we decided to pick a random spot, hop off and wander around wherever we found ourselves. 

good in theory.

not so good in practice. 

our selected destination was kyungwon university.

                             it was a shithole.

we climbed the subway steps to the street, and found ourselves in the heart of filth and squalor.

you'll  note the subway abbreviation for "university" is "univ". 
on completion of our visit, we decided it was probably meant as the shortened version of
"uninviting"
... or "under investigation"
... or "UN isolated venue" ... or - okay, i'll stop now.

all the housing is in enormous apartment towers, on top of each other.

they all have euphemisum names to cover up for being kak places to live ... like this one: "sweet dot home"

i basically captured the most picturesque parts of town ...

everything that stood still for more than a minute was covered in carbon-monoxide soot.  buildings, neon signs, bus stops, parked cars, old people - all carried enough grime for you to use your index finger to wipe-write a "wash me please" message onto them.

prime real estate: the person who owns this car is the slumdog millionaire

these were the nicest apartments in town

and this - a welcoming restaurant front.

i post this baby especially for my friends jayman, dr danger and holman - all of whom i know have had to step away from their computer screens, momentarily, to settle their stomachs.

but before we move on - i need you to know that these octopuses (or is it octopi?) are served live, and the key to your meal-time enjoyment is to adequately chew before swallowing - so as to avoid having the living creature attach its tentacles to your epigoltis and choke you to death.

now that, my friends, would be "dinner and a show".

after about an hour (the aroma of human excrement now thick in the air) we conceded explorer-fail and returned back to "civilisation".

a little disappointed by the day's "finds" - we kept reminding ourselves that everything happens for a reason.

and as we stepped off the bus in seohyoen, we suddenly felt like we were "home". 
for the first time since we've been here - we felt a sense of belonging, and relief.  it was the familiarity that comes with the place you hang your hat.

and then it hit us.   everything does, in fact happen for a reason.

some few festivi-T's

early followers of this blog will recall the festivi-T's section, under which i began my collection of rad t-shirts.

 it's been a while since any new additions have been made - but i've not been slacking in my quest for the best.  since we've been here, i've come across a number of beauties, and have also discovered an online store which specialises in ko-nglish rip off t-shirts. i shall be purchasing a number of classics from said store in the very near future. 

but until my personal collection flourishes, herewith - a few festivi-T's to keep the spirit alive.
(btw, click to enlarge all images on this blog - incase you didn't already know that)

dave (the kiwi)

jono (an aussie) sports this korean gem: like many things here, things are often lost in transation

(canad)ian wears this number, featuring the little dude from the movie UP!

ffion (welsh) with a bit more local humor

"kimchi: the answer to all of life's problems"

read more about kimchi here

the day the proudfeet touched ground

wednesday morning we woke with a start, to the sound of 300 koreans chanting what sounded like high-speed taichi.  anthem-styled songs blared through the speaker system that surrouds the school grounds.  after about 2 mins of attempting to return to sleep, i grabbed my camera, threw on a jacket and stepped out in to the (very early) morning.

this was outside our room.

and whilst i still have no idea who they were, or what they were doing, or why they were up before the sun - apparently, this is something we can expect to continue on a daily basis as the weather improves.

goodie gumdrops.

later that day - and much to our excitement, footie and minx arrived.

tanned and still wearing their holiday faces the two were greeted with an unexpected bout of snowfall.  enormous flakes fell for about 3 hrs, followed shortly after by a light rain which washed all the snow away.

it was so unscheduled and fleeting, that it seemed as if it was a welcome gift just for them.

while Fathead and i were at work, losing our voices in the torture chambers (called "classrooms" here) - footie and minx-star set about making themselves at home.  in a stroke of luck, they were given the room right next door to ours - which means that they have access to the balcony, as well as our back door.

we left them with a list of hints and tips, hand drawn maps and instructions on using the public transport systems.  it's pretty amazing - we didn't realise how much we knew until we were the ones answering the questions.

after work, we took them for their first night on the town - and what was really great was that so many people from the school joined us too.  since we've been here, there are some personalities that are always there, always friendly and always in the forefront of our days.  others, however, tend to slink into the shadows - probably through shyness or an unwillingness to be too social in the working/living environment.

however, with the south african contingent now sitting at a substantial 5-people (roslyn from cpt being the fifth) - it seems that the whole team has started to pull together, and other teachers are slowly coming out of their shells.

the night started at pub 210 - where the barman remembered my name ... incredible, having only been there once before.  after that, we went onto dublins for an open-mic night, where one of tour teachers played a set.

(canad)ian and jono, with luke (another canadian) playing his set in the background

Fathead, footie and minx in dublins

the night was long and the next, even longer. well, for Fathead and i anyway.  the other two slept in 'til midday, wandered into town and splashed out on two pot plants and a shower curtain for their new nest.

things they do, and things they don't

____________________________

things that south korea...
do have
do think about
do better
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the other night we gathered in the teacher's lounge for a wee bit of monopoly (which we all know is an oxymoron: for "wee bit" and "monopoly" are basically an impossible combination).

anyway, at the outset of what became a 5hr marathon, i discovered the 21st century version of this classic boardgame ...  gone are the days of monopoly money notes piling up beneath the board, my friends. 

you can now buy musgrave and eloff street via an eft! 

feel like purchasing heathrow airport?

"just put it on my card"

how festive (and incredibly clever) is this?!
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driving here is really interesting - apart from the obvious observation that they drive on the other side of the road, and therefore cars have their steering wheels on the left, gears on the right etc.  if i were to drive here, it would be a frightening experience - especially if i attempted one of their major 16-lane intersections.

but the funny thing is, even if i was mad enough to try - the drivers here would likely tolerate me.  they would probably let me cut in when i was 4 lanes away from my off ramp.  they would definately hoot - though not in anger, but rather to greet the blonde foreigner.  i'm also pretty sure that when i turned into on-coming traffic on the highway, they'd allow my to u-turn across to the other side.

here, no one fights on the roads.  the taxi's are equal citizens who are required to maintain their vehicles, pay taxes and obey the laws of the road. cars understand that busses have bus lanes.  basically everyone who is behind the wheel of a vehicle has a right to be there, and is treated with ther respect and patience that they deserve.

all others - particularly those on foot - have no place on the road, nor any right to move in the road area unless it is within a vehicle.  if you choose "walking" as your mode of transport, you must accept that you are in the way, and if necessary will be run over so as to address this inconvenience.

________________________________

things that south korea...

don't have

don't think about
don't do better
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traffic lights mean different things here to the rest of the world. 
here, green means "go as fast as your accelerator will let you". yellow means "don't push your accelerator all the way down to the floor", and red means "treat this as a yield area, where as long as you don't hit anything (with the exception of pedestrians) you are welcome to do whatever you please".
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korea is an extremely small country and yet most of the locals here consider it to be the entire world - which i know is probably true for most countries the world over, but we're talking about korea now ... please keep up.

here, somethings are impossible: 

• blonde hair, for instance, is not possible.  it comes from a salon.
• white people from africa are another impossibility.
• eating a meal without kimchi.
• using a knife.
• music genres originating from outside of asia do not exist. 
• rubbish bins on the streets do not exist, and yet generally speaking, the sidewalks are clean.  you don't see a lot of litter anywhere actually, and yet there is nowhere to put it.
• overseas travel doesn't seem like much of a possibility in most korean minds - and it's generally not that they think they can't afford it. they just don't think about travelling abroad.
• there is no difference between south africa and south america.  you are just saying it wrong.
• running any sort of business (be it corporate global giant, or mom 'n pops corner cafe) without a cartoon mascot attached to it, is unthinkable. therefore every building, taxi, airconditioning unit, tv channel, soft drink, cell phone company and restaurant needs an icon - preferably non-asian with big eyes.

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when you eat out in korea, your meal is likely to start with several pitchers of water and many small glasses.  these will remain on the table for the rest of the evening.
shortly after the water, you may order something from the beverage list.  this is usually in enormous pitcher-sized servings, accompanied by several beer glasses.
these too, will all remain on the table until you exit the restaurant.

if there are smokers in your company, they will use the ashtray provided, and the great butt-collection of 2010 will commence.

everytime your beer pitcher empties itself, and you order another - a new pitcher comes to the table, yet none of the old ones leave.

it's like a non-return valve or hotel california or the bermuda triangle.

by the time dinner is presented, you are required to magically find space for your meal - a large gas burner, atop which an enormous casserole dish is perched.

at the end of your evening, as you leave the restaurant don't be tempted to glance back at your now vacant table.  for it will exhibit, in cold reality, how much you had to drink, how much you ordered to eat, how many times you asked for extra chopsticks, how many cigarettes you smoked, how many bones there were in the fish stew and  how many times you heard that annoying "ding-dong" chime whenever one of you "buzzed" for service in an attempt to have the table cleared.