who ... moi?

a social butterfly: scared of much, but not of many. never lets the truth get in the way of a good story. not a fan of acronyms, snakes and angelina jolie. a HUGE fan of Fathead.

this blog is black for ENERGY-SAVING reasons.

thanks for your understanding.
if it's too dark, put your glasses on old one.

Monday, November 30, 2009

wii - fit for a twit

i've mentioned my opinion of computer games before
(here:wii se moer).

now, it would appear that though i've received quite a number of tongue-lashings (sho, so much of anger!)  from a few of the willies amongst you, i am not at all alone in this opinion.

please enjoy this little beauty...

some fan 'tache tic news

ho! ho! ho! no more mo

today is the last day of november - which for most, means payday.

however today is also the last day of MOvember.  this is a far more exciting time of the year.  it signifies a shift in society as we enter into a new phase of civility.

in essence, my friends, it signifies the end of a spikey, scratchy, creepy-looking, handle-bar shaped facial feature which has been haunting my F@head's face. 

exhibit a:

if, like me, you were a long-suffering girlfriend / wife / mother / sister / lover / booty call of one of these ridiculous creatures - go here (tashorama) to find the name of the caterpiller who invaded your privacy for the last month .

please raise a tipple in celebration - as tomorrow is
 "shave the ginger-arsed-bandit day".
this makes me exceedingly happy.

thanks to daniel-son and gillete mach 3 blades

Friday, November 27, 2009

the mobile boutique

if you're not at synergy this weekend (which you really should be ... but i've already banged that drum), then maybe pop into the old biscuit mill tonight between 6 -11pm.  they've just launched something called the mobile boutique which apparently is a sort of smorgasbord of creative talents.

i guess if you like good food, drinks, music, fashion, design with a local-is-lekker flavour, marketplaces and great atmosphere then ja, well. this would probably be your vibe.

it's in the shed, and apparently will be on every friday night. pretty rad.

so if you're in the city for the naweek, go check it out.  let me know what it's like. and then next week, we can go together.

of course, i should warn you now - i'll probably lead you astray down the decadance staircase ... best you bring a takkie to squeak.

cell c, for your self-service

the thing that always fascinates me, whenever i deal with the morons who work for cell c, is that the company as a whole still manages to keep its doors open.

it's not just that they have a really annoying marketing campaign with that daft old bird trying to sound sexy whilst she tells you about rica and how excited she is that you've qualified for an upgrade.  it's not just about their kak signal coverage and the fact that i can't receive calls in my own home. no, more than all this - it's about the cell c way.

you see, if you have a problematic phone and it goes in for a software upgrade, the normal way to handle things would be to upgrade said software, give you a call and notify you that your cell phone is back in store, ready for collection.
easy peasy cotton cheesy.

unless, like me, you send it to these mo-fo's, who take over a month to sort it out, don't give you a replacement phone, have you calling them to constantly follow up for status updates - and then when they finally do call you to collect it, they proudly announce that they've "fixed the problem" by simply formatting all your contacts you've collected over the past 10 years, off your SIM card.

that, my friends, is the cell c way.

this morning, i call cape medical plan to give them a month's notice on cancelling my medical aid.  i give my policy number, and immediately am recognised on the system.  hello, yes certainly, here's how, no problem, have a wonderful day.

then i call cell c.

the old bird starts her heavy breathing on the other end of the phone. there are so many blerri options to choose from,  I feel like i've dialed my ID number by the time i'm done.

by now, i've started to feel tearful in frustration, and am carefully constructing the offensive sentiments i'm going to hurl at the poor bugger who eventually takes my call. naturally, when you do get through, it's the wrong department and you're put on hold.

apparently, if you work at cell c, your brain is only programmed to be versed in one part of the business. so for instance, if you work in pay-as-you-go, there is absolutely no way that you can assist someone who would like to change their address details - on the very same system you work with.

hello. cellphone number? ID number? first name? second name? bank? address? please hold, wrong department. 

hello.  thanks for holding. cellphone number? ID number? first name? second name? bank? address? why are you canceling? 
you must pay. 
why do you want this confirmed in writing, we'll probably sms you later when we cancel it. 
no i can't email you. 
can't you just wait?   fine. i have a reference number you can take down.                                   
 (long awkward silences, whilst system is updated).

i was supposed to be constructive today. i have a list of policies to cancel, contracts to end, notices to give. i have a car that needs to go to the AA so i can put it on the market. i have banks and insurance houses to contact.    friday was my sort-out-admin day.  but cell c took all my admin-energy away.  they sucked it out of me like the vampires they are.  no more self-service for me today.  i don't think i can fit another call center into my friday.

the torture shall have to be postponed to monday. think i'm rather going to go sip a tipple on a winefarm, surrounded by good friends, good chunes and hippies serving falafel burgers.

oh, and if you're trying to get hold of me this weekend - and you're greeted with my voicemail - don't stress. i'm in franschhoek, so i won't have any signal.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

news on the nutty north

wow. this is special.

i've got love for you, if you were born in the 80's. the 80's.

last night F@head's crazy cuz entertained us with this little after-dinner tit bit.  i suspect that in the brightness of daylight, it's probably not as funny as we found it last night - but i'm going to blame the whi-sssssh-kie for that.

talk about a stroll down memory lane. if you spent any of the 80's in SA, you'll recall most of these. my favourite has to be "in the centre, mister venter". but i'll let you choose your own.

anyhoo, you may enjoy it. i like to call it a "blast from the past". write that down.

thanks dounie

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

the truth about (f)advertising

my friend - the man of The Gentleman's Log - just posted a fab new Yahoo clip on the world of advertising (click link above to view - worth a watch).  it reminded me of another clip i sent around a while ago PB (pre blog).

I've since stumbled upon it - and really feel that your day needs this.  grab a cuppa tea or a cuppa cheeno - and enjoy.

if you're in advertising, you'll love it. if you're in banking, you won't get it - but then your company's probably set up a firewall to prevent you from viewing it, anyway.

wherefore art thou, visa?

if you were wondering when F@head and i are due to head off on our SK adventure - you'd be in the same boat as us.

to update you on the status thereof:
  • employment contracts signed and returned: check
  • visa papers sent back and forth and back and forth (whilst DHL throws it head back in a guttural laugh and rubs it's fattening wallet):  check
  • resignation from SA jobs: check
  • cancellation of lease for chateau du F@head: check
  • selling of the Astra-nomical: in progress
  • transfer of pension policies, cancellation of contracts and accounts: in progress
looking pretty on track, right?  i suppose, it's not bad.  there's nothing to panic about. unless you consider things that haven't happened yet
  • visa codes issued (passports then need to get to PTA, have visa's installed and then get back down to us)
  • car sold
  • travel/medical insurance
  • back-packs and snow jackets purchased
  • ability to speak fluent Korean
  • moving / storage booked
  • flights booked
  • departure date confirmed
and all this, during the highly productive festive season.
Ag ja  - it's not that bad.  we are only due to start working in SK 40 days from now.

CALM DOWN already!

nuff about me, let's talk about you

so it's a new thing - this whole blog vibe. more from my perspective (the virginal blogger), than from yours i'm sure.
but still.

since the F@head files launched, you guys have shown amazing support - and it's been an encouraging start to a fascinating journey of learning and discovery.

in the setup, i linked to a widget (something us bloggers like add to our pages), which tracks activity on the blog. it's been incredible to watch the stats grow and change in the two weeks it's been "live".

more incredible is the weird stuff (something i've always been a bit of a fan of, i must say).

did you know:

17% of you out there, spend (on avg) more than 1hour on the F@head files everytime you visit
there are about 50 of you that spend between 20 mins - 1hr during your stay
the majority are dedicating between 5 - 20mins on average
and then there are a few of you out there who pop in for around 5mins daily.

given the caliber of my friends and your high-pressure professions, i draw great compliment in these stats.

it's also quite insightful (for me) to know that the majority of hits occur between 7 - 9am, then again over lunchtime (which apparently some of you start from 11am and end at 3pm.  then again, a peak between 7-10pm.

sho, given these stats - if we were all one person, our working day would be 4hrs longs!
(you see - it's always better when we're all together)

anyhoo, according to the track map - there are followers sitting as far abroad as norway and ecuador, several on either coast of the US of A, a smattering in aus, then a predictable handful in UK and the bulk, obviously, in our wonderful mzanzi.

it's nice to know you're out there friends.  

and when the lonely night wind sings its lonely, lu-la-by, it's nice to know we're sleeping un-der-neath the same big skyyyyyyy

so thanks guys - for your support, and patience.

i'm getting there. 

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

you, me and synergy

i don't want to be funny, but...
if you're not coming to synergy this weekend, i'm assuming it's for one of the following (limited) reasons:
a) you don't live in SA
b) you're too old
c) you've never heard of it

whilst i find it hard to find any good reason for the above 3 excuses, the most concerning one is the last.
you've never heard of it?  come now ...

people! we're talking about rocking the daisies on steriods
we're talking about a 3 day rock concert on boschendal farm

go on, test me - name your favorite local artist.

fokofpolisikar?   playing.
goldfish?           playing.
dirty skirts?     playing.

 yup. them and about 20 others. and i haven't even gone down the road of the dj list, or mentioned the main stage and bars, dance floors, fairground, market place and multimedia zone (they even have a soapbox for daniel-son)

i want you to go here Synergy Live.
buy your ticket. come and play with me and F@head this weekend.

no more excuses. sorry. i'm tired of them.

ticket. and go. 

it's a fokken parrot

many of you will remember this from varsity days, some have been subjected to it during a dinner party at chateau du F@head, and others will know it (most recently) as something quite often played in die openbare-call-centre.

however, i fear there are a few ferrets out there, who may not have seen it yet. this troubles me. so i've decided to fix that, right now.

now you will always have it at clicking-distance ... archived for those days when you feel like laughing so hard you pee a little.

monday's reasons to feel fakken festive

it's official. cape town is the best city in SA. let me catch the out-of-towners up to speed:

this weekend's recipe for festiveness
kick off the weekend with the first christmas party of the season, surrounded by great company - and chat the night away to the soundtrack of the city bowl alive with people.
a visit to the biscuit mill with the tourist in-laws, then a sunny picnic in kirstenbosch.
chase that with a bonfire and some good mates, and complete the naweek with a long boozy lunch at the parentals in the 'hoek.
yup, that'll do it.

to add to the intoxicating happiness, ol' fathead lost his (4-generation-old) signate ring and we managed to retrieve it from the dude to pocketed it - all in 24hrs!

but wait ... there's more!
leaving work this evening (mentally preparing myself for the usual bumper-to-bumper) ... i discover this:

that ladies and gents is the newly opened FIVE lane highway (n1 outbound from m5). goodness me. in addition i'd like to thank all the capetonian drivers for staying true to our reputation and bailing from work extra early to go forth and enjoy the sunshine.  as a result, i got home in 7 mins.

another reason to start feeling the tingle in your big toe, is the fact that it was 34 degrees today. that's right people - it doesn't get better than a slaapstad summer!

so, pour yourselves a tipple - sit back and enjoy the rest of the week ... my sources tell me it's going to be a sinker!

start your week off here (go on - turn it up now, don't be a wuss. if you open up your heart and mind, it will stick in both for quite sometime).

over and out (and thanks to you all for the blog-support, laughter, emails, FB messages, SMS's, advice and walking around "runka-tunka-tunka-tunk-tunking" - it are all muchly appreciated!)

wishing you a festive week,
kitty d

Friday, November 20, 2009

das gud, ja?

shoooweee ... adidas have seriously shaken things up with their latest german campaign.  they've fully embraced all that is digital, and designed this crazy online, interactive world - to celebrate the launch of the german soccer team's world cup kit for next year.

 the star players have been virtually rendered into this graphic novel, where you, the viewer become an integral part of recreating the team's historic victories, by playing the various stages of a game.

north kingdom, the agency behind this masterpiece have layered this campaign with elements of augemented reality, an interactive story and community blog.

"but what's the story?" you may ask.

essentially, teamgeist is the story of a team that "loses" their identity when their uniforms dissolve into "blankness"; viewers are then challenged to help the team claim back their identity by revisiting their most celebrated victories in 1954, 1974 and 1990. it's an ingenious way of immersing fans in the history and national pride of the team - driving home the notion that the identity of the team and the patriotic design of their jersey's, are inseparable.

inside the game, players have been positioned as comic-book superhero's (which i assume would make any german soccer fan rather hot and horny).
but even i got stuck into chapter 1's match against hungary.  it's rather addictive, even if it's just out of sheer intrigue and admiration for the graphic execution.

check it out here (takes a smidgen longer than usual to load - but really is worth the wait)  adidas - teamgeist

it's a highly effective way of engaging fans (and random visitors, like myself) whilst adding fuel to the fire of excitement and anticipation for the 2010 world cup.

i wonder how bafana's teamgeist story would go. maybe instead of restoring their lost identity, you'd have to collect as many new coaches as you could within the remaining days to the world cup?

mainy zanks tu leza, zee cherman

Thursday, November 19, 2009

about klout

well i never.

kiddles sent me this interesting new social media analytics tool.  it's a hellovathing.  it's called klout, and was launched in san fran by a group of clever little four-eyed monsters.

so basically it tracks trends and centres/subjects of influence with the social media web. it makes connections and measures how many people are talking about what at the same time.

for instance - you'll recall me previous article on the new xbox?  well according to klout:

the point behind all this is based on the belief that every one who is creating content on line, has some kind of ... well ... klout.

so they look at the impact of your opinions, links and recommendations and plot it against a social graph. then using what they know about the content you create, how people interact with that content and the size and composition of your network they connect you to others.

rather nifty tool for agencies / businesses / PR dudes wishing to track / measure / justify their social media activities, no?

check out: http://klout.com/
thanks t-bear

it bugs me to be alone about bugsy malone

i've been talking about this movie since the late 80's - but no one out there seems to have shared the same childhood fetish (or let alone, even heard of it). so here's your cultural blast-from-the past.

BUGSY MALONE:  me and fat sam, we're like this.  [crosses fingers]
BLOUSEY BROWN:  you mean you're real good friends?
BUGSY: nah, it's just that every time i see him, i crosses my fingers, an' hope he don't hit me.

come on what do you mean you've never heard of it? good grief! the youth of today *sigh*

directed and written by alan parker (there'll be a pop quizz next week on his other movies, so best you eu-google it) and released in 1976.

it starred jodie foster people. although in those days she wasn't lesbanese. but still ... bless it.

if you like old school ganster plots (think the godfather), guns and long-legged ladies flapping around in strings of beads, then you may just enjoy what was possibly one of the most original and influential movies ever made.  i even attribute some of my many entertaining talents to the years i spent rewatching this on VHS.

in short (to enlighten the cretins among you who don't know about it) bugsy malone is set in the big apple, 1929 and is all about the world of would-be hoodlums, hard-core mafia type gangs, dodgie deals, showgirls and schemers (sounds a little like a friday night on woodstock main road, i know) - but here's the catch.

it's an all child cast.  sound kak? you're wrong. 

it only won best production design/art direction, screenplay, sound track, supporting actress and most promising newcomer to leading film roles at the '77 BAFTA film awards.  

oh, and then a few nominations at the oscars (best music, original song score and best adaptions score), the golden scroll's best fantasy film, best costume design, direction and film of the year (at cannes, and golden globes).

ag, but ja - it was no biggie really. 

look i'm not going to flog you a dead horse here - just watch the trailor already.

and remember - sharing is caring: if you know how to get your hands on it, then do so and give it to me. 

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

the F@head anthem

oneday (far into the distant future) when i be-wed my Fathead, we shall have our first dance to this song.

you need to watch it to really feel the kind of love that Fathead and i have for it. i want you to learn the lyrics too ... just think how left-out you'll feel when the other 700 wedding guests are "run-ka-tunk-tunking" and you aren't.

watch it. learn it. love it. play it over and over in your car.

let me guess  - your heart is beating like a jungle drum?

i'm sorry ... but WTF?

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

nikon D700 launch in south korea

inspired by our celebrity-obsessed culture, fueled by the paparazzi vultures that we all love to hate, nikon recently spun an interesting twist on the launch of their D700 model in a seoul subway.

walking past this enormous interactive billboard, passersby triggered automatic flash sensors - sending a shower of camera flashes into action.  a life size image of the papa-papa-ratssi appears to be clambering over one another to get that money-making shot ... turning your everyday public transport user into a split-second superstar.

the red carpet led them through the station, into a mall and directly to a store selling the new D700.
smart no?

thanks shazza

lady cock-a

okay, you've held your breath long enough.
 below, (a world-first reveal, btw)

a rooster, pulling off an uncanny impersonation of "lady" gaga


breakit-breakit dooowwwn .


the curious case of booze

having never worked on a booze account myself, i've never been in a position to comment on their advertising "strategies" (defn annoying word people in my industry use as interchangeable with "plan", "forward-thinking", "reason we think our forward-thinking plan is right", "reason i should be considered more clever than you").

i simply could not comment.

that is, not until now.
you see, anyone living in SA would have seen the following (amongst others, i'm sure) on their home screens. watching these ads you realise that in order to market beer/cider (for the aussies, this is that stuff that tastes a lot like brak-water) all you need to do is tick one/some/all of the following boxes:

young black male
  • must sound educated in oxford
  • must be well dressed
  • must smack of ambition and/ success
  • preferably with a sculpted hair-do and don-your-sunnies white teeth
famous (preferably pre-90's) song - following in the footsteps of heineken / windhoek .. not sure?
  • must be catchy
  • must be a sing-a-long
  • must have a chorus that compliments the rhythm of flicking off a bottle cap / pouring into a glass
  • preferably something by johnny clegg (so as to jerk a patriotic tear)
something "bling-ola"
  • cos "research" (defn insights you pay a company to generate through clinical trials) shows that "they" dig things that are shiny ... much like goats and crows

don't believe me?

  • take castle lite's ice-ice baby executive
  • castle lager's rainbow nation .. .good lord, don't even get me started ... "more than a feeeeeee-ling"
  • hansa's wors entreprenuer who ends up going into space
  • foundry's pyramid-licker
  • hunter's global-warming solver "chilling your china's china"
  • black label ... come now, do you need an example?
memory fails me as to who exactly started this trend - was it heineken's "quando-quando-quando-quandoooo"or windhoek's (pre-louis gossett jr ... thank goodness for that rejuvenation!) "i need you baby" ?

... and then there's amstel - who apparently, to celebrate their 140 years in the business, will be kind enough to give you a gold (coloured) foil neck.
thanks jer-a-miah

goodness me, but your cup doth runneth over!

why can't they just do this ... proof that white men can dance:

i'm just saying ...is all.

Wii se moer

okay so next to golfers discussing their swing on the 4th hole and top billing, tv games are pretty much up there in my top list of BO-ring things in life.

however i do have the highly-evolved skill of appreciating things are are actually interesting.

take this, a little ditty i put together, of a short history of gaming consoles (those of you who can identify these by name, need to get off the internet right now, go outside, climb a tree, throw a ball ... and who knows, you may just meet your first real friend).

okay so unless you've been living in dalstroom, you'll know the rest ... PS, PSII, PSIII, PStoo_much_money_and_find_it_hard_to_interact_with_real_homosapiens, Wii, Wii-Fit, X-box 360 ... blah blah dee blah fishpaste.

boys (and girls, i suppose) ... check this out

thanks daniel-son
take it. and go.

Monday, November 16, 2009

steri's stumped me

so my bestest one in all the land has been doing some festive things on the interweb and streets of the city, with a FABulous campaign that has taken an ou doos brand and given it a rather festive, cutting-edge cult following.

it be steri stumpie (i hear everyone has a flavourite).

look, i'm not going to lie - it's pretty weird to see a milkshake resurrect itself from the days of riaan cruywagen and the a-team,  only to emerge with a tweet account, a blog www.steri-stumpie.co.za, a facebook profile, brand ambassadors who are fakken strange individuals, two new flavours, an oom-pa band and a range of designer tshirts.

but because of all this and despite being lactose intolerant (defn "don't do diary") even i have found myself galishing at the thought of an ice cold choccie melk as part of my hang over rescue remedy.

now for those of you who are assuming i've been slipped some kind of sneaky-sneaky hand-in-pocket promo-payment, you'd be very mistaken.

no, i'm giving them airtime, in the desperate hope that NOW my  "best friend" will fling a tshirt my way.

i mean just look at this (ltd edition steri-inspired designs by levi's)

so there it is, my final plea for a dose of the radness.

these melk-terts at steri are pretty royal-upstanders mind you - even before they won their recent award at the acclaimed The Bookmarks, they've been clean of any bribery or lumps in their shake. 

guess i'll just have to watch from afar whilst society rewards the melkers 'n shakers amongst us.

monday's drinking lesson

i trust your weekend was festive? mine was spent bouncing between wine farms and restaurants in the 'hoek.  i have no idea how people stay thin or non-broke in that town. that's why i don't live there anymore (which implies i am thin and netting it - get it?)

but more tales of the 'hoek later ... btw, watch this space for the world first reveal of the-lady-gaga-impersonating-cock.  no that's not a freudian slip. i did that on purpose.

okay folks, time for monday's drinking lesson:

the denty thumb hole at the bottom of a wine bottle is called a "punt".

*not to be confused with the afrikaans word for "pound" - pronounced "pont". which sounds alot like another (blush) very rude afrikaans word.

there - now you know. another gem to add to your dinner-time vocab. whip it out tonight (the word, I mean). i dare you.

Friday, November 13, 2009

things you should know

fab list of festive facts about the best, greatest, most rad, fantabulous country in the world ...

this is spec-hoff-ular!

"some people stand in the darkness, afraid to step into the light" but not the ol' hoff-meister. check this masterpiece out. i especially enjoy the cutting-edge graphic treatment and special effects. i know you will too.

it's not even a joke. which is why it's funny.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

i heart chris rawlinson

and seen as we're in the propping kinda mood - check out my "sites to inspire and delight" sidebar
for the gentleman's blog: www.chrisrawlinson.com   
(what a gem-tleman)

walken sings "poker face"

there's so much to love about this clip ... the comedic genius that is walken, his dead pan face, the fact that he's a million times better at delivering this dreadful song than that daft gaga creature...

thanks daniel-son, you continue to delight x

man, i wish someone would poke her  in the face ... me thinks a sharp stick oughta do the trick.
for those dying to know what my current ringtone is - watch the music video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlpvXOuIJT4

i'm pretty sure i shouldn't ... but

... it's inappropriate, totally unPC and fakken hilarious!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

the fat fak up ... an update

since the last post under this title, we've learned that the people in the cape town office that have the power to give the Apostille stamp (set self reminder to find out how on earth you pronounce this!), lied to us when they said that they didn't have the power to give the stamp.

do you know those mo-fo's were going to make us send our papers to pretoria?!  anyway, sneaky and nimbled-toed footie managed to uncover the truth.  the kaapse vet koppe do actually offer the service.

so now we wait like sitting ducks (why do people say this? anybody every seen a sitting duck and thought - "man, that reminds me of this morning, when i was stuck in traffic") - for our two tiny pieces of government-sponsored paper to be returned to SA, so we can take it down to these kaapse vet koppe and get them to tie a satin ribbon around the certificate and seal it wiff a pretty wax stamp.

had i known that the skills i was learning in my 2nd grade craft class could have risen me to the Apostille Stamp-giver power seat, lord knows i would have made some very different career decisions ...

a fat dose of magic, coming soon

seems the theme of magic is running strong through our social stream at the moment. between vampires, the resurrection of tron and the a-team, wolverine (god help us all, if hugh jackman gets any hotter!), and he-who-should-be-worshipped, tim burton serving up a little bit of wonderland early next year ... it's going to be an amazing start to our incredible adventure!
even locally, we're seeing the faerie dust a-sprinkling ...

take the new m-net ("don't stop them now") commercial

Mnet "Magic Studios" from panic embryo on Vimeo.

the fat interchange planned for Koeberg/M5

like any good capetonian, i'm the first to rattle off a long list of reasons as to why the mother city kicks joburg's ass 10-love. on this list will be the usual suspect crime and of course, the predictable, nightmarish traffic ... and like any good capetonian, i'll loyally omit the fact that in recent years, cape town has been receiving an ever-increasing dose of the latter.

i'd deliberately fail to show you this - a typical view of my morning ride into work:

but now, i'm coming out with the truth.  you see, now i'm armed with additional ammo for the vaalies amongst us who've already started with "ja, you see ..."

put away your smug grins friends-GP, for slaapstad has a bright, white light at the end of this congested tunnel (drumroll please)

I present to you, the breath-taking engineering feat of genius that is the future of the Koeberg interchange:

just look at that beast!
that's right ... take it in.
life in ol' slaapstad might be "slow-bru", but by 2010 at least our traffic won't be.

the fat fool (that'd be me)

i guess part of having a blog means sharing your life (the trials, the tribulations, the sex scandals ... you get the point).  as i boldly entwine myself in the interweb, i'm learning to do this ... day by day.

so here goes - my first "coming clean" confession.

on saturday night, F@head and i go to a friend's birthday at doodles. it's full of client-type people, but we make the most of it.  one of the client-type people brings a celebrity-type person to the party.  it's not just any celebrity-type person (and most of you will probably start to point and laugh when i get to the point) - but it's the other man in my life.

i've told F@head about my one-sided love affair ... and he's taken this news like a true soldier.  of course now, the true soldier begins a mocking cacophony of laughter at my state of star-struck fluster
 - as in strolls the man who serenades me from my slumber every morning, the man who enriches my spiritual journey via twitter everyday ... the man who, (gasp), leans into my conversation (as I casually pretend to be cool and aloof ... yes, I'm a tool, I know) - extending his hand to introduce himself (to what he must have thought was a fakken hot blonde, right?)

"hi, i'm gareth"

(don't worry, he thinks i'm a tool, too)

blushing like a 12 yr old at a bon jovi concert, i'm thinking OHMYSHATTEREDNERVES!  as F@head annoyingly cackles in the corner of my eye.

a few minutes later - all of which i'd spent straining to evesdrop on his conversation, so I could deposit some mind-blowing gem of a wisdom (see my tweets for examples of these) - he left.
so that was my celebrity encounter.
that's it.
how sad?
... he didn't even offer me a goodbye snog (joking, i'm not that kinda girl).

and eventhough i may be a F@ fool - for that one second, when he took my hand, it was pure bliss to feel like a teenager again.

lesson learned: being an adult all the time, in control of emotion and reason - just ain't as fun as wanting to throw your panties at someone.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

F@ applause for google's celebration of 40 years of elmo's song!
(everybody) "this is the song, la la la la ..."




Friday, November 6, 2009

tessa brightens my inbox with this gem.

the fat fak up

received a call from footie this morning, SNET contacted them to say their (chris and minx's) police clearance certificates weren't properly authorised with the "apostille" stamp. this means ours are incorrect too.


calls to many useless foreign affairs departments. many numbers, redirecting me to other (equally unhelpful) departments.

eventual outcome: get original certificates couriered back from SK (which have only just arrived there), courier them to pretoria, get them certified with an apostille stamp, couriered back to cape town, and then get them back to SK.

panic averted. for now.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

lizzy just sent this to me. the first graphic post on the f@head files. I heart garfield.

the fat beginning


my Fathead is very brave and takes the bold steps to his first resignation. there are no tears, no hugs, no cries of objection. there's a hand shake and a warm "we wish you well" send off.

shame. bless it.


i follow in Fathead's footsteps, impulsively deciding "today's the day". i say my story (hands a trembling, palms a sweating, voice breaking). it goes well. they understand. they wish me well. it's done.

deep sigh of relief. i feel like i've "come out".