who ... moi?

a social butterfly: scared of much, but not of many. never lets the truth get in the way of a good story. not a fan of acronyms, snakes and angelina jolie. a HUGE fan of Fathead.

this blog is black for ENERGY-SAVING reasons.

thanks for your understanding.
if it's too dark, put your glasses on old one.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

G2 minus 1

as i write this post i sit in an empty open plan, at my empty desk (and ironically, John Lennon on my iTunes just asked me to "imagine all the people") ...

i've just sent off the last of the goodbye emails, saved my admin-deficient filing system on our server and handed over my work path since 2006.  weird.

the things that have spent the last few years cluttering my daily space have all fit into one small box, and now for the last time i use my beloved macbook pro to blog.


life is so beautiful on a mac.  i am dreading the messy, crabby, backward, counter-intuitive way of PC life ... more than i dread jetlag and tripping over boy things strewn all over my living space.

so it's a sad day, as i part with my special little silver window to the world.  i will have to replace her asap.

it's obvious that our work is drawing to a close, but to update you on the rest it's probably best to revisit the panic list posted in wherefore art thou visa?

40-day status  (days before work in SK commences) wasn't looking too hot, i must tell you:

" things that haven't happened yet

  • visa codes issued (passports then need to get to PTA, have visa's installed and then get back down to us)
  • car sold
  • travel/medical insurance
  • back-packs and snow jackets purchased
  • ability to speak fluent Korean
  • moving / storage booked
  • flights booked
  • departure date confirmed "

so let's see how things have some along since then ...

12-day status:

  • visa codes- done
  • car sold - being done tomorrow arvie
  • travel/medical insurance- being handled by Fathead ... hopefully
  • back-packs and snow jackets purchased - done
  • ability to speak fluent Korean - pah! c'mon you and i both know that was a leetle yoke
  • moving / storage booked - done
  • flights booked - being done in the next two days 
  • departure date confirmed - 98% set for the 2nd Jan

so there - that's not bad, hey?!  plus there are a ton of other things we've managed to cross of the list ... including getting our deposit for the Chateau du Fathead back, backing up emails, contacts, music and photo's, booking post-vacancy cleaners and kitting ourselves out with -20 degree survival gear.

i have to admit, that as the daughter of a lingerie designer i never thought the day would come where i voluntarily put thermal undies on the top of my christmas list!  heaven's above.

you could say we're on track i suppose.  so it's now loose-end-tying-up time.  i've made a list of things to do, a list of things to pack, another list for things to remember, and a list of lists to make.

but sadly in this moment i'm taking a moment with my friend, my glorious mac.

adious. it's been grand.

Friday, December 18, 2009

back in the mothercity

there's a lot to be said about the charm of slaapstad.  i'm not sure what i love most about it ... but i think it's a tie between the people and the energy they provide.  as the days to our departure lessen, i find myself looking at the parts of the city that i love, with a new-found affection.

in fact, it happened just last night ...

after a reunion dinner with the gals from huis ton bus (our res in slettenbos) - Fathead and i were leaving the undercover parking area of kloof street's wellness centre - a car-park i frequent quite often - and realising that it was probably going to be the last time i park there for quite a while, i suddenly became all nostalic as the reality of what i would be missing sank in (i'm weird like that).

so in the spirit of remembrance, i whipped out my camera - figuring that there'd be no need to miss anything if i could capture it and take it with me to pull out on a rainy day and be transported back into the memories.

sandile, the parking attendant on duty, had diligently placed his name tag in its rightful position ... but with a little coaxing, i managed to convince him to remove it ... so i could snap up this little gem:

now that's the shit i'm going to miss.  slaapies, you will always have a special place in my heart.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

return from golden gate

hello lovelies

i have returned from a long weekend spent in the most breath-taking part of SA.


Fathead and i made a trip up to hilton, to meet up with Mr and Mrs Fathead  - from where we drove to the north of the lesotho border, near harrismith, to the golden gate park (but i already told you that).

it's basically the land of the greenest mountains ever - check this out

that my friends was the view from our chalet. not too shabby, hey nige?

this was also what it looked like as we arrived on day 1, eagerly escaping the wet drab mistiness of hilton.  as lady lucky was clearly suffering from p.m.s this week, the weather then turned and became wet, drab and misty - that was of course, until this morning (our departure day) - when the sun came out flinging brightly coloured ribbons in a summer dress as she say corny songs from the sound of music.

so in the spirit of soaking up the last rays before we trekked back to foggy hilton-town - Fathead, Mrs Fathead and i tasked ourselves with summited the big red rock you see above.   it was a hellova thing.  but so worth it.

look closer: you see that "staircase" (right of the middle) grasping for dear life to the sheer cliff face?

that's us on it.  spectacular ... and you thought i didn't do hiking?  tsk, tsk,  you are quite mistaken my little city-slicker friend.

unlike our foreign friend the sun, christmas decided to make an early appearance, bringing me a rad 320GB hard drive (woohoo - thanks fathead) plus,  fabulous 75lt backpacks (golly-me, can you believe all our worldy-posessions for 2 years are going to fit in something that small?!)

most of all, i really wish that pedo-bear, dr danger and jayman were with us last night, when Fathead dabbled in some extreme braaiing:

for his birthday, we decided to have a barbie - only, there was a slight torrential down-pour during an almightly thunder and lightning storm.   the booi-chies would have been very proud: as even in the face of earthly-electrocution, my fathead powered through ... rain-proof poncho aboard.  bless it.

to be fair, very special mention must be given to Mr Fathead, and irish - the brother-in-law.

it was undoubtably a fitting end to an early christmas ... a "miracle birth" symbolised by a miracle braai.

well done chaps. and thank you for a wonderful holiday.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

'tis the season to be jolly, and stop de bi'chin

i know that previously, i promised a bi'chin-moan about how heineken fakked up at the killers, but in the light of the fact that absolutely everyone  has been kvetzing about it, i feel it's rather over done.  there've been posters like this one floating around   *yawn*

in fact, in response to one of the top blogs in the country, one of my (apparently too happy-clappy) comments triggered quite a witty round of banter about how we should all hate big concerts vs how we should "always look on the bright side of life"
(thanks monty python).

ag, anyway - it's not important.

in short - the main sponsor didn't read the fine print on their liquor license, couldn't sell booze from 4-6 pm, and so as a result gave it away for 2 hrs.

being in the tobacco industry, i rather question the legalities of this move - but really, who cares?  it happened.

i saved cash (which is a really good thing seen as they were taking the piss with their booze prices anyway - so it's really what i like to call a wen-wen-situasie).

there. said and done.

i can't be sure - maybe it's my (too-be) father-in-law's whiskey that i've been tippling on all evening, maybe it's the fact that i'm on "holiday", maybe it's the cheesy vanessa williams' version of "have yourself a merry little christmas" that i'm listening to as i type ... who knows?  but really, it's the end of the year, and i'm tired of hearing complaints,  people.

it's time to embrace the festive season - even if you're not a christian, even if (like me) you're working 'til the end of the year, even if the festive season has already broken your bank until march 2010.

in the end, it's these times we remember.  it's that christmas eve dinner that uncle bob got drunk and fell asleep in your mom's carspacchio, that you'll remember on your death bed. not the deadline you made in less time than your boss expected.

it's the granny who gave your boyfriend a woman's purse as a christmas present - and the moment your watched his face contort in a ridiculous impersonation of "appreciation" - that's the stuff that'll bring a smile to your face.

take today ... i could have been worrying about the money, or the flights, or the storage, or the visa's - but instead: today,  returning from the bierfassel (SA's best eisbien-serving-german restaurant in the midlands) Fathead's father used the doggie-bag to swot a flock of flies off the bonnet of his volvo, when the force of his swing broke the foil bag, and just like that ... a shower of slow-cooked pork flung itself across the bonnet of his shiney white luxury vehicle.

now that people, is what life's about.      the funny shit.

of course, Father Fathead didn't think so ...
but that's besides the point.

he'll find the humor in year's to come.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

breaking the silence

i know i've been neglecting you.  it's not because i've lost interest - it's just that we've been in a little pre festive-season whirlwind.

last tuesday we had Fathead's birthday with our nearest and dearests, which left us feeling a little porridge-brained on wednesday.  hence no post.  then thursday, i had my farewell from G2 - which was nothing short of amazingly touching, drunk and emotionally draining.

it's quite incredible how when you do life-changing things like leave the country, a situation suddenly presents itself to you.  it's a situation you're not often lucky enough to be in.  it's a situation where suddenly you're exposed to just how much love your friends and family have for you.

we've been showered with hugs and the most thoughtful gifts.  people have had the kindest words to say, and throughout the past week, i've realised just how lucky i am to have you all.

for your friendship, support, presents, love, hugs, tears, laughter and jagermeisters - i thank you.

i'm currently sitting in the misty hills of hilton (natal), where they've finally discovered the interweb.  it's taken a fews days of experimentation and a number of technical specialists - but we're finally online again! woohoo.

i hope cape town is sunny and bright.

this is the view from where i blog:

rad. glad i packed for the heat of the bush. i'm loving the feeling of hyper-thermia ... i consider this to be good practice for the -20 degrees we've been warned about in south korea.

goodie - gumdrops.

tomorrow we trek off to meet the rest of the clan in goldengate highlands nature reserve for an early christmas.  i assume that much like in hilton, the interweb there is rather like a three-legged chicken ... lessor-spotted.

so again, i apologise in advance for the silence.  i'll probably be on twitter though (follow me here) and i'll keep ya'll posted on whether we see any weird-and-wonderfuls.

otherwise, i'll be back in the 17th to fill the f@head files with more updates.

love you all muchly,
kitty d

Monday, December 7, 2009

century views

you know that feeling...

when you've spent 5,5 hours doing your christmas shopping in canal walk on a saturday - and you and your partner (whom you are no longer on speaking terms with) exit the halls of hell and holly, only to stumble upon something that makes you want to take out the key to your astra-nomical and scratch some obscentiy along the side of it?

meet that something:


this man has a small willie and a parking problem.  i don't like bad parkers. they are the rot of our society.

to mr unknown, you are a tool.

please don't visit our parts anymore.  next time, someone may accidentally ram her trolley into your penis replacement.
several times.

just FYI, consider this my early christmas gift to you.

the killers reveals some fat festivi-T's

this weekend was a hellova thing!  sho-wee, but it's fun living in cape town!

kicking off the weekend with a surprise "half-way to graduation" party at a friend's house, on friday night, meant that saturday was a struggle for physical and mental stability.  Fathead and i diligently dragged our behinds through the canal and conquered (almost) all of the christmas shopping.  a traumatic experience for most couples, so we're quite relieved that it's over and we're both still speaking to eachother, limbs intact.

saturday night we were treated to Fathead's end of year function, which (despite having a rather boe-ring theme - enter "fire and ice") was actually a rather festive little event - complete with flame-throwing dancers.

but the real gem of the weekend, which deserves a very special mention here - was the killers concert held at val du vie estate.

ja - i mean how kak is that stage backdrop?

apart from being hands-down, panty-dropping, by far the most incredible concert i've ever been to (and that's saying something) - we also got to see zebra & giraffe (again) who were absolutely superb (again).

most notable is the incredible thread of like-mindedness that us killers fans share.  it was really heart-warming to see all the fat festivi-T's that were on parade (including my hum-dinger of a limited edition, "attack of the chocolate steri stumpie" - which i acquired as a result of my previous post steri's stumped me).

other inspiring appearances were made by a number of concert-goers.  following the remarkably high standards set by goodies and pedo bear we have another two contestants who've qualified for the prestigious fat festivi-T's award:

runner up, zudzie clemens wearing OMF! WTF?

and our weekend winner, mr random un-known

i dig that.

tune in later for more on how heineken (the main sponsor) fakked up.  but for now, that's all i have to say about that. 

Thursday, December 3, 2009

bless you, everyone

as the countdown to the festive season begins (started a few days ago, here) - it's important that we take time out to consider the wonderful plethora of people that intertwine to weave the fabric of our society.
Company Memo

FROM:    Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO:        All Employees

DATE:    October 1, 2008

RE:       Gala Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks!  We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along.  And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM.  Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets.  This gathering is only for employees!

Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

Merry Christmas to you and your family,


Company Memo

FROM:    Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO:        All Employees

DATE:    October 2, 2008

RE:       Gala Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.  We recognize that  Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.  However, from now on,  we're calling it our "Holiday Party."  The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung.  We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.

Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family,


Company Memo

FROM:   Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO:        All Employees

DATE:   October 3, 2008

RE:       Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name.  I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that  reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore.  How am I supposed to handle this?


And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.


Company Memo

FROM:  Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

To:       All Employees

DATE:   October 4, 2008

RE:       Generic Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are!  I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours.  There goes the party!  Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs.  Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy.  Will that work?

Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.

Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table.

Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.

To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms.  Sorry.

We will have booster seats for short people.

Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.

I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food .  The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.

There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?!?!?


Company Memo

FROM:   Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO:        All F*%^ing Employees

DATE:    October  5, 2008

RE:        The F*%^ing Holiday Party

I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!!  We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f*%^ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes.  But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too.  They scream when you slice them.  I've heard them scream.  I'm hearing them scream right NOW!

The rest of you f*%^ing wierdos can kiss my *ss.  I hope you all have a rotten holiday!

Drive drunk and die,

The B*tch from H*ll!!!

Company Memo

FROM:  Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director

DATE:   October  6, 2008

RE:       Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her.

In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays!


thanks jeramiah

fat festivi-T's

i'm sure most of you expected me to blab on about how amazing synergy was - but see, that's where you're wrong.   those of you who weren't there, couldn't possibly want to hear about how fabulous it was, how much fun we had, how well organised it was, how incredibly the bands played or how i dove so deep into the festiveness that i left my voice on the dancefloor.

why on earth would i rub that in your face?!

what i am going to do is announce the winners of the secret-and-unannounced t-shirt competition.

congrats to goodies and pedo-bear for their outstanding effort in this department.  your prize is a noddy badget.

please enjoy these two gems:

waaahaa! it's too much.  I love you okes.

another (slightly more naughty) gem i stumbled upon is this ... sorry if offending any of you, but if can put your funny hat on for just a sec ... 

watch this space as we scour the globe for more festivi-T's.

thanks joolz, for your unwaivering inappropriateness

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

fat stats to broaden your mind

this is a little more intellectual than my usual content - but is something that i saw a few months ago, and have tried to explain over make a dinner-debate, ever since.

it's absolutely fascinating, and if you can take the time to watch it - your mindset will be shifted.

any thoughts on what you just saw?

post a comment, i'd love to continue the debates - now that you've actually seen what i've been doing such a piss-poor job of trying to explain.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

"pleased to put the penny in the old man's hat"

what a day! december 01.  world AIDS day and the beginning of the last month of the year.  it's also the beginning of the christmas countdown - something i'm sure most of you are kakking yourselves about.

i know, i know.  it's too soon, you can't believe the year's almost over, you're amazed at how quickly time flies by, it's been such a hectic year, you've not saved for pressies to pop under the tree, you've only got two weeks of work left and a month of work to get done - blah-blah-blah-fishpaste.

here're the hard cold facts people.  you want to get the year over with.  you want to be on holiday. you want to be at that year-end party.  you want the champagne cocktail on christmas morning. you want the iPhone-shaped pressie under the tree.

now you ain't going to enjoy any of that until you get into the spirit of festiveness ... and i know just the thing to get you there.

it's a little ditty my role model (miss piggy) flung together.
now turn up your speakers (nice and loud now, y'hear?)

you see that little screen, just below this?  that's christmas baby - and it's is coming to town.