who ... moi?

a social butterfly: scared of much, but not of many. never lets the truth get in the way of a good story. not a fan of acronyms, snakes and angelina jolie. a HUGE fan of Fathead.

this blog is black for ENERGY-SAVING reasons.

thanks for your understanding.
if it's too dark, put your glasses on old one.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

G2 minus 1

as i write this post i sit in an empty open plan, at my empty desk (and ironically, John Lennon on my iTunes just asked me to "imagine all the people") ...

i've just sent off the last of the goodbye emails, saved my admin-deficient filing system on our server and handed over my work path since 2006.  weird.

the things that have spent the last few years cluttering my daily space have all fit into one small box, and now for the last time i use my beloved macbook pro to blog.


life is so beautiful on a mac.  i am dreading the messy, crabby, backward, counter-intuitive way of PC life ... more than i dread jetlag and tripping over boy things strewn all over my living space.

so it's a sad day, as i part with my special little silver window to the world.  i will have to replace her asap.

it's obvious that our work is drawing to a close, but to update you on the rest it's probably best to revisit the panic list posted in wherefore art thou visa?

40-day status  (days before work in SK commences) wasn't looking too hot, i must tell you:

" things that haven't happened yet

  • visa codes issued (passports then need to get to PTA, have visa's installed and then get back down to us)
  • car sold
  • travel/medical insurance
  • back-packs and snow jackets purchased
  • ability to speak fluent Korean
  • moving / storage booked
  • flights booked
  • departure date confirmed "

so let's see how things have some along since then ...

12-day status:

  • visa codes- done
  • car sold - being done tomorrow arvie
  • travel/medical insurance- being handled by Fathead ... hopefully
  • back-packs and snow jackets purchased - done
  • ability to speak fluent Korean - pah! c'mon you and i both know that was a leetle yoke
  • moving / storage booked - done
  • flights booked - being done in the next two days 
  • departure date confirmed - 98% set for the 2nd Jan

so there - that's not bad, hey?!  plus there are a ton of other things we've managed to cross of the list ... including getting our deposit for the Chateau du Fathead back, backing up emails, contacts, music and photo's, booking post-vacancy cleaners and kitting ourselves out with -20 degree survival gear.

i have to admit, that as the daughter of a lingerie designer i never thought the day would come where i voluntarily put thermal undies on the top of my christmas list!  heaven's above.

you could say we're on track i suppose.  so it's now loose-end-tying-up time.  i've made a list of things to do, a list of things to pack, another list for things to remember, and a list of lists to make.

but sadly in this moment i'm taking a moment with my friend, my glorious mac.

adious. it's been grand.

Friday, December 18, 2009

back in the mothercity

there's a lot to be said about the charm of slaapstad.  i'm not sure what i love most about it ... but i think it's a tie between the people and the energy they provide.  as the days to our departure lessen, i find myself looking at the parts of the city that i love, with a new-found affection.

in fact, it happened just last night ...

after a reunion dinner with the gals from huis ton bus (our res in slettenbos) - Fathead and i were leaving the undercover parking area of kloof street's wellness centre - a car-park i frequent quite often - and realising that it was probably going to be the last time i park there for quite a while, i suddenly became all nostalic as the reality of what i would be missing sank in (i'm weird like that).

so in the spirit of remembrance, i whipped out my camera - figuring that there'd be no need to miss anything if i could capture it and take it with me to pull out on a rainy day and be transported back into the memories.

sandile, the parking attendant on duty, had diligently placed his name tag in its rightful position ... but with a little coaxing, i managed to convince him to remove it ... so i could snap up this little gem:

now that's the shit i'm going to miss.  slaapies, you will always have a special place in my heart.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

return from golden gate

hello lovelies

i have returned from a long weekend spent in the most breath-taking part of SA.


Fathead and i made a trip up to hilton, to meet up with Mr and Mrs Fathead  - from where we drove to the north of the lesotho border, near harrismith, to the golden gate park (but i already told you that).

it's basically the land of the greenest mountains ever - check this out

that my friends was the view from our chalet. not too shabby, hey nige?

this was also what it looked like as we arrived on day 1, eagerly escaping the wet drab mistiness of hilton.  as lady lucky was clearly suffering from p.m.s this week, the weather then turned and became wet, drab and misty - that was of course, until this morning (our departure day) - when the sun came out flinging brightly coloured ribbons in a summer dress as she say corny songs from the sound of music.

so in the spirit of soaking up the last rays before we trekked back to foggy hilton-town - Fathead, Mrs Fathead and i tasked ourselves with summited the big red rock you see above.   it was a hellova thing.  but so worth it.

look closer: you see that "staircase" (right of the middle) grasping for dear life to the sheer cliff face?

that's us on it.  spectacular ... and you thought i didn't do hiking?  tsk, tsk,  you are quite mistaken my little city-slicker friend.

unlike our foreign friend the sun, christmas decided to make an early appearance, bringing me a rad 320GB hard drive (woohoo - thanks fathead) plus,  fabulous 75lt backpacks (golly-me, can you believe all our worldy-posessions for 2 years are going to fit in something that small?!)

most of all, i really wish that pedo-bear, dr danger and jayman were with us last night, when Fathead dabbled in some extreme braaiing:

for his birthday, we decided to have a barbie - only, there was a slight torrential down-pour during an almightly thunder and lightning storm.   the booi-chies would have been very proud: as even in the face of earthly-electrocution, my fathead powered through ... rain-proof poncho aboard.  bless it.

to be fair, very special mention must be given to Mr Fathead, and irish - the brother-in-law.

it was undoubtably a fitting end to an early christmas ... a "miracle birth" symbolised by a miracle braai.

well done chaps. and thank you for a wonderful holiday.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

'tis the season to be jolly, and stop de bi'chin

i know that previously, i promised a bi'chin-moan about how heineken fakked up at the killers, but in the light of the fact that absolutely everyone  has been kvetzing about it, i feel it's rather over done.  there've been posters like this one floating around   *yawn*

in fact, in response to one of the top blogs in the country, one of my (apparently too happy-clappy) comments triggered quite a witty round of banter about how we should all hate big concerts vs how we should "always look on the bright side of life"
(thanks monty python).

ag, anyway - it's not important.

in short - the main sponsor didn't read the fine print on their liquor license, couldn't sell booze from 4-6 pm, and so as a result gave it away for 2 hrs.

being in the tobacco industry, i rather question the legalities of this move - but really, who cares?  it happened.

i saved cash (which is a really good thing seen as they were taking the piss with their booze prices anyway - so it's really what i like to call a wen-wen-situasie).

there. said and done.

i can't be sure - maybe it's my (too-be) father-in-law's whiskey that i've been tippling on all evening, maybe it's the fact that i'm on "holiday", maybe it's the cheesy vanessa williams' version of "have yourself a merry little christmas" that i'm listening to as i type ... who knows?  but really, it's the end of the year, and i'm tired of hearing complaints,  people.

it's time to embrace the festive season - even if you're not a christian, even if (like me) you're working 'til the end of the year, even if the festive season has already broken your bank until march 2010.

in the end, it's these times we remember.  it's that christmas eve dinner that uncle bob got drunk and fell asleep in your mom's carspacchio, that you'll remember on your death bed. not the deadline you made in less time than your boss expected.

it's the granny who gave your boyfriend a woman's purse as a christmas present - and the moment your watched his face contort in a ridiculous impersonation of "appreciation" - that's the stuff that'll bring a smile to your face.

take today ... i could have been worrying about the money, or the flights, or the storage, or the visa's - but instead: today,  returning from the bierfassel (SA's best eisbien-serving-german restaurant in the midlands) Fathead's father used the doggie-bag to swot a flock of flies off the bonnet of his volvo, when the force of his swing broke the foil bag, and just like that ... a shower of slow-cooked pork flung itself across the bonnet of his shiney white luxury vehicle.

now that people, is what life's about.      the funny shit.

of course, Father Fathead didn't think so ...
but that's besides the point.

he'll find the humor in year's to come.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

breaking the silence

i know i've been neglecting you.  it's not because i've lost interest - it's just that we've been in a little pre festive-season whirlwind.

last tuesday we had Fathead's birthday with our nearest and dearests, which left us feeling a little porridge-brained on wednesday.  hence no post.  then thursday, i had my farewell from G2 - which was nothing short of amazingly touching, drunk and emotionally draining.

it's quite incredible how when you do life-changing things like leave the country, a situation suddenly presents itself to you.  it's a situation you're not often lucky enough to be in.  it's a situation where suddenly you're exposed to just how much love your friends and family have for you.

we've been showered with hugs and the most thoughtful gifts.  people have had the kindest words to say, and throughout the past week, i've realised just how lucky i am to have you all.

for your friendship, support, presents, love, hugs, tears, laughter and jagermeisters - i thank you.

i'm currently sitting in the misty hills of hilton (natal), where they've finally discovered the interweb.  it's taken a fews days of experimentation and a number of technical specialists - but we're finally online again! woohoo.

i hope cape town is sunny and bright.

this is the view from where i blog:

rad. glad i packed for the heat of the bush. i'm loving the feeling of hyper-thermia ... i consider this to be good practice for the -20 degrees we've been warned about in south korea.

goodie - gumdrops.

tomorrow we trek off to meet the rest of the clan in goldengate highlands nature reserve for an early christmas.  i assume that much like in hilton, the interweb there is rather like a three-legged chicken ... lessor-spotted.

so again, i apologise in advance for the silence.  i'll probably be on twitter though (follow me here) and i'll keep ya'll posted on whether we see any weird-and-wonderfuls.

otherwise, i'll be back in the 17th to fill the f@head files with more updates.

love you all muchly,
kitty d

Monday, December 7, 2009

century views

you know that feeling...

when you've spent 5,5 hours doing your christmas shopping in canal walk on a saturday - and you and your partner (whom you are no longer on speaking terms with) exit the halls of hell and holly, only to stumble upon something that makes you want to take out the key to your astra-nomical and scratch some obscentiy along the side of it?

meet that something:


this man has a small willie and a parking problem.  i don't like bad parkers. they are the rot of our society.

to mr unknown, you are a tool.

please don't visit our parts anymore.  next time, someone may accidentally ram her trolley into your penis replacement.
several times.

just FYI, consider this my early christmas gift to you.

the killers reveals some fat festivi-T's

this weekend was a hellova thing!  sho-wee, but it's fun living in cape town!

kicking off the weekend with a surprise "half-way to graduation" party at a friend's house, on friday night, meant that saturday was a struggle for physical and mental stability.  Fathead and i diligently dragged our behinds through the canal and conquered (almost) all of the christmas shopping.  a traumatic experience for most couples, so we're quite relieved that it's over and we're both still speaking to eachother, limbs intact.

saturday night we were treated to Fathead's end of year function, which (despite having a rather boe-ring theme - enter "fire and ice") was actually a rather festive little event - complete with flame-throwing dancers.

but the real gem of the weekend, which deserves a very special mention here - was the killers concert held at val du vie estate.

ja - i mean how kak is that stage backdrop?

apart from being hands-down, panty-dropping, by far the most incredible concert i've ever been to (and that's saying something) - we also got to see zebra & giraffe (again) who were absolutely superb (again).

most notable is the incredible thread of like-mindedness that us killers fans share.  it was really heart-warming to see all the fat festivi-T's that were on parade (including my hum-dinger of a limited edition, "attack of the chocolate steri stumpie" - which i acquired as a result of my previous post steri's stumped me).

other inspiring appearances were made by a number of concert-goers.  following the remarkably high standards set by goodies and pedo bear we have another two contestants who've qualified for the prestigious fat festivi-T's award:

runner up, zudzie clemens wearing OMF! WTF?

and our weekend winner, mr random un-known

i dig that.

tune in later for more on how heineken (the main sponsor) fakked up.  but for now, that's all i have to say about that. 

Thursday, December 3, 2009

bless you, everyone

as the countdown to the festive season begins (started a few days ago, here) - it's important that we take time out to consider the wonderful plethora of people that intertwine to weave the fabric of our society.
Company Memo

FROM:    Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO:        All Employees

DATE:    October 1, 2008

RE:       Gala Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks!  We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along.  And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM.  Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets.  This gathering is only for employees!

Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

Merry Christmas to you and your family,


Company Memo

FROM:    Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO:        All Employees

DATE:    October 2, 2008

RE:       Gala Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.  We recognize that  Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.  However, from now on,  we're calling it our "Holiday Party."  The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung.  We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.

Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family,


Company Memo

FROM:   Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO:        All Employees

DATE:   October 3, 2008

RE:       Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name.  I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that  reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore.  How am I supposed to handle this?


And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.


Company Memo

FROM:  Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

To:       All Employees

DATE:   October 4, 2008

RE:       Generic Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are!  I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours.  There goes the party!  Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs.  Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy.  Will that work?

Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.

Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table.

Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.

To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms.  Sorry.

We will have booster seats for short people.

Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.

I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food .  The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.

There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?!?!?


Company Memo

FROM:   Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO:        All F*%^ing Employees

DATE:    October  5, 2008

RE:        The F*%^ing Holiday Party

I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!!  We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f*%^ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes.  But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too.  They scream when you slice them.  I've heard them scream.  I'm hearing them scream right NOW!

The rest of you f*%^ing wierdos can kiss my *ss.  I hope you all have a rotten holiday!

Drive drunk and die,

The B*tch from H*ll!!!

Company Memo

FROM:  Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director

DATE:   October  6, 2008

RE:       Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her.

In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays!


thanks jeramiah

fat festivi-T's

i'm sure most of you expected me to blab on about how amazing synergy was - but see, that's where you're wrong.   those of you who weren't there, couldn't possibly want to hear about how fabulous it was, how much fun we had, how well organised it was, how incredibly the bands played or how i dove so deep into the festiveness that i left my voice on the dancefloor.

why on earth would i rub that in your face?!

what i am going to do is announce the winners of the secret-and-unannounced t-shirt competition.

congrats to goodies and pedo-bear for their outstanding effort in this department.  your prize is a noddy badget.

please enjoy these two gems:

waaahaa! it's too much.  I love you okes.

another (slightly more naughty) gem i stumbled upon is this ... sorry if offending any of you, but if can put your funny hat on for just a sec ... 

watch this space as we scour the globe for more festivi-T's.

thanks joolz, for your unwaivering inappropriateness

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

fat stats to broaden your mind

this is a little more intellectual than my usual content - but is something that i saw a few months ago, and have tried to explain over make a dinner-debate, ever since.

it's absolutely fascinating, and if you can take the time to watch it - your mindset will be shifted.

any thoughts on what you just saw?

post a comment, i'd love to continue the debates - now that you've actually seen what i've been doing such a piss-poor job of trying to explain.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

"pleased to put the penny in the old man's hat"

what a day! december 01.  world AIDS day and the beginning of the last month of the year.  it's also the beginning of the christmas countdown - something i'm sure most of you are kakking yourselves about.

i know, i know.  it's too soon, you can't believe the year's almost over, you're amazed at how quickly time flies by, it's been such a hectic year, you've not saved for pressies to pop under the tree, you've only got two weeks of work left and a month of work to get done - blah-blah-blah-fishpaste.

here're the hard cold facts people.  you want to get the year over with.  you want to be on holiday. you want to be at that year-end party.  you want the champagne cocktail on christmas morning. you want the iPhone-shaped pressie under the tree.

now you ain't going to enjoy any of that until you get into the spirit of festiveness ... and i know just the thing to get you there.

it's a little ditty my role model (miss piggy) flung together.
now turn up your speakers (nice and loud now, y'hear?)

you see that little screen, just below this?  that's christmas baby - and it's is coming to town.

Monday, November 30, 2009

wii - fit for a twit

i've mentioned my opinion of computer games before
(here:wii se moer).

now, it would appear that though i've received quite a number of tongue-lashings (sho, so much of anger!)  from a few of the willies amongst you, i am not at all alone in this opinion.

please enjoy this little beauty...

some fan 'tache tic news

ho! ho! ho! no more mo

today is the last day of november - which for most, means payday.

however today is also the last day of MOvember.  this is a far more exciting time of the year.  it signifies a shift in society as we enter into a new phase of civility.

in essence, my friends, it signifies the end of a spikey, scratchy, creepy-looking, handle-bar shaped facial feature which has been haunting my F@head's face. 

exhibit a:

if, like me, you were a long-suffering girlfriend / wife / mother / sister / lover / booty call of one of these ridiculous creatures - go here (tashorama) to find the name of the caterpiller who invaded your privacy for the last month .

please raise a tipple in celebration - as tomorrow is
 "shave the ginger-arsed-bandit day".
this makes me exceedingly happy.

thanks to daniel-son and gillete mach 3 blades

Friday, November 27, 2009

the mobile boutique

if you're not at synergy this weekend (which you really should be ... but i've already banged that drum), then maybe pop into the old biscuit mill tonight between 6 -11pm.  they've just launched something called the mobile boutique which apparently is a sort of smorgasbord of creative talents.

i guess if you like good food, drinks, music, fashion, design with a local-is-lekker flavour, marketplaces and great atmosphere then ja, well. this would probably be your vibe.

it's in the shed, and apparently will be on every friday night. pretty rad.

so if you're in the city for the naweek, go check it out.  let me know what it's like. and then next week, we can go together.

of course, i should warn you now - i'll probably lead you astray down the decadance staircase ... best you bring a takkie to squeak.

cell c, for your self-service

the thing that always fascinates me, whenever i deal with the morons who work for cell c, is that the company as a whole still manages to keep its doors open.

it's not just that they have a really annoying marketing campaign with that daft old bird trying to sound sexy whilst she tells you about rica and how excited she is that you've qualified for an upgrade.  it's not just about their kak signal coverage and the fact that i can't receive calls in my own home. no, more than all this - it's about the cell c way.

you see, if you have a problematic phone and it goes in for a software upgrade, the normal way to handle things would be to upgrade said software, give you a call and notify you that your cell phone is back in store, ready for collection.
easy peasy cotton cheesy.

unless, like me, you send it to these mo-fo's, who take over a month to sort it out, don't give you a replacement phone, have you calling them to constantly follow up for status updates - and then when they finally do call you to collect it, they proudly announce that they've "fixed the problem" by simply formatting all your contacts you've collected over the past 10 years, off your SIM card.

that, my friends, is the cell c way.

this morning, i call cape medical plan to give them a month's notice on cancelling my medical aid.  i give my policy number, and immediately am recognised on the system.  hello, yes certainly, here's how, no problem, have a wonderful day.

then i call cell c.

the old bird starts her heavy breathing on the other end of the phone. there are so many blerri options to choose from,  I feel like i've dialed my ID number by the time i'm done.

by now, i've started to feel tearful in frustration, and am carefully constructing the offensive sentiments i'm going to hurl at the poor bugger who eventually takes my call. naturally, when you do get through, it's the wrong department and you're put on hold.

apparently, if you work at cell c, your brain is only programmed to be versed in one part of the business. so for instance, if you work in pay-as-you-go, there is absolutely no way that you can assist someone who would like to change their address details - on the very same system you work with.

hello. cellphone number? ID number? first name? second name? bank? address? please hold, wrong department. 

hello.  thanks for holding. cellphone number? ID number? first name? second name? bank? address? why are you canceling? 
you must pay. 
why do you want this confirmed in writing, we'll probably sms you later when we cancel it. 
no i can't email you. 
can't you just wait?   fine. i have a reference number you can take down.                                   
 (long awkward silences, whilst system is updated).

i was supposed to be constructive today. i have a list of policies to cancel, contracts to end, notices to give. i have a car that needs to go to the AA so i can put it on the market. i have banks and insurance houses to contact.    friday was my sort-out-admin day.  but cell c took all my admin-energy away.  they sucked it out of me like the vampires they are.  no more self-service for me today.  i don't think i can fit another call center into my friday.

the torture shall have to be postponed to monday. think i'm rather going to go sip a tipple on a winefarm, surrounded by good friends, good chunes and hippies serving falafel burgers.

oh, and if you're trying to get hold of me this weekend - and you're greeted with my voicemail - don't stress. i'm in franschhoek, so i won't have any signal.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

news on the nutty north

wow. this is special.

i've got love for you, if you were born in the 80's. the 80's.

last night F@head's crazy cuz entertained us with this little after-dinner tit bit.  i suspect that in the brightness of daylight, it's probably not as funny as we found it last night - but i'm going to blame the whi-sssssh-kie for that.

talk about a stroll down memory lane. if you spent any of the 80's in SA, you'll recall most of these. my favourite has to be "in the centre, mister venter". but i'll let you choose your own.

anyhoo, you may enjoy it. i like to call it a "blast from the past". write that down.

thanks dounie

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

the truth about (f)advertising

my friend - the man of The Gentleman's Log - just posted a fab new Yahoo clip on the world of advertising (click link above to view - worth a watch).  it reminded me of another clip i sent around a while ago PB (pre blog).

I've since stumbled upon it - and really feel that your day needs this.  grab a cuppa tea or a cuppa cheeno - and enjoy.

if you're in advertising, you'll love it. if you're in banking, you won't get it - but then your company's probably set up a firewall to prevent you from viewing it, anyway.

wherefore art thou, visa?

if you were wondering when F@head and i are due to head off on our SK adventure - you'd be in the same boat as us.

to update you on the status thereof:
  • employment contracts signed and returned: check
  • visa papers sent back and forth and back and forth (whilst DHL throws it head back in a guttural laugh and rubs it's fattening wallet):  check
  • resignation from SA jobs: check
  • cancellation of lease for chateau du F@head: check
  • selling of the Astra-nomical: in progress
  • transfer of pension policies, cancellation of contracts and accounts: in progress
looking pretty on track, right?  i suppose, it's not bad.  there's nothing to panic about. unless you consider things that haven't happened yet
  • visa codes issued (passports then need to get to PTA, have visa's installed and then get back down to us)
  • car sold
  • travel/medical insurance
  • back-packs and snow jackets purchased
  • ability to speak fluent Korean
  • moving / storage booked
  • flights booked
  • departure date confirmed
and all this, during the highly productive festive season.
Ag ja  - it's not that bad.  we are only due to start working in SK 40 days from now.

CALM DOWN already!

nuff about me, let's talk about you

so it's a new thing - this whole blog vibe. more from my perspective (the virginal blogger), than from yours i'm sure.
but still.

since the F@head files launched, you guys have shown amazing support - and it's been an encouraging start to a fascinating journey of learning and discovery.

in the setup, i linked to a widget (something us bloggers like add to our pages), which tracks activity on the blog. it's been incredible to watch the stats grow and change in the two weeks it's been "live".

more incredible is the weird stuff (something i've always been a bit of a fan of, i must say).

did you know:

17% of you out there, spend (on avg) more than 1hour on the F@head files everytime you visit
there are about 50 of you that spend between 20 mins - 1hr during your stay
the majority are dedicating between 5 - 20mins on average
and then there are a few of you out there who pop in for around 5mins daily.

given the caliber of my friends and your high-pressure professions, i draw great compliment in these stats.

it's also quite insightful (for me) to know that the majority of hits occur between 7 - 9am, then again over lunchtime (which apparently some of you start from 11am and end at 3pm.  then again, a peak between 7-10pm.

sho, given these stats - if we were all one person, our working day would be 4hrs longs!
(you see - it's always better when we're all together)

anyhoo, according to the track map - there are followers sitting as far abroad as norway and ecuador, several on either coast of the US of A, a smattering in aus, then a predictable handful in UK and the bulk, obviously, in our wonderful mzanzi.

it's nice to know you're out there friends.  

and when the lonely night wind sings its lonely, lu-la-by, it's nice to know we're sleeping un-der-neath the same big skyyyyyyy

so thanks guys - for your support, and patience.

i'm getting there. 

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

you, me and synergy

i don't want to be funny, but...
if you're not coming to synergy this weekend, i'm assuming it's for one of the following (limited) reasons:
a) you don't live in SA
b) you're too old
c) you've never heard of it

whilst i find it hard to find any good reason for the above 3 excuses, the most concerning one is the last.
you've never heard of it?  come now ...

people! we're talking about rocking the daisies on steriods
we're talking about a 3 day rock concert on boschendal farm

go on, test me - name your favorite local artist.

fokofpolisikar?   playing.
goldfish?           playing.
dirty skirts?     playing.

 yup. them and about 20 others. and i haven't even gone down the road of the dj list, or mentioned the main stage and bars, dance floors, fairground, market place and multimedia zone (they even have a soapbox for daniel-son)

i want you to go here Synergy Live.
buy your ticket. come and play with me and F@head this weekend.

no more excuses. sorry. i'm tired of them.

ticket. and go. 

it's a fokken parrot

many of you will remember this from varsity days, some have been subjected to it during a dinner party at chateau du F@head, and others will know it (most recently) as something quite often played in die openbare-call-centre.

however, i fear there are a few ferrets out there, who may not have seen it yet. this troubles me. so i've decided to fix that, right now.

now you will always have it at clicking-distance ... archived for those days when you feel like laughing so hard you pee a little.

monday's reasons to feel fakken festive

it's official. cape town is the best city in SA. let me catch the out-of-towners up to speed:

this weekend's recipe for festiveness
kick off the weekend with the first christmas party of the season, surrounded by great company - and chat the night away to the soundtrack of the city bowl alive with people.
a visit to the biscuit mill with the tourist in-laws, then a sunny picnic in kirstenbosch.
chase that with a bonfire and some good mates, and complete the naweek with a long boozy lunch at the parentals in the 'hoek.
yup, that'll do it.

to add to the intoxicating happiness, ol' fathead lost his (4-generation-old) signate ring and we managed to retrieve it from the dude to pocketed it - all in 24hrs!

but wait ... there's more!
leaving work this evening (mentally preparing myself for the usual bumper-to-bumper) ... i discover this:

that ladies and gents is the newly opened FIVE lane highway (n1 outbound from m5). goodness me. in addition i'd like to thank all the capetonian drivers for staying true to our reputation and bailing from work extra early to go forth and enjoy the sunshine.  as a result, i got home in 7 mins.

another reason to start feeling the tingle in your big toe, is the fact that it was 34 degrees today. that's right people - it doesn't get better than a slaapstad summer!

so, pour yourselves a tipple - sit back and enjoy the rest of the week ... my sources tell me it's going to be a sinker!

start your week off here (go on - turn it up now, don't be a wuss. if you open up your heart and mind, it will stick in both for quite sometime).

over and out (and thanks to you all for the blog-support, laughter, emails, FB messages, SMS's, advice and walking around "runka-tunka-tunka-tunk-tunking" - it are all muchly appreciated!)

wishing you a festive week,
kitty d

Friday, November 20, 2009

das gud, ja?

shoooweee ... adidas have seriously shaken things up with their latest german campaign.  they've fully embraced all that is digital, and designed this crazy online, interactive world - to celebrate the launch of the german soccer team's world cup kit for next year.

 the star players have been virtually rendered into this graphic novel, where you, the viewer become an integral part of recreating the team's historic victories, by playing the various stages of a game.

north kingdom, the agency behind this masterpiece have layered this campaign with elements of augemented reality, an interactive story and community blog.

"but what's the story?" you may ask.

essentially, teamgeist is the story of a team that "loses" their identity when their uniforms dissolve into "blankness"; viewers are then challenged to help the team claim back their identity by revisiting their most celebrated victories in 1954, 1974 and 1990. it's an ingenious way of immersing fans in the history and national pride of the team - driving home the notion that the identity of the team and the patriotic design of their jersey's, are inseparable.

inside the game, players have been positioned as comic-book superhero's (which i assume would make any german soccer fan rather hot and horny).
but even i got stuck into chapter 1's match against hungary.  it's rather addictive, even if it's just out of sheer intrigue and admiration for the graphic execution.

check it out here (takes a smidgen longer than usual to load - but really is worth the wait)  adidas - teamgeist

it's a highly effective way of engaging fans (and random visitors, like myself) whilst adding fuel to the fire of excitement and anticipation for the 2010 world cup.

i wonder how bafana's teamgeist story would go. maybe instead of restoring their lost identity, you'd have to collect as many new coaches as you could within the remaining days to the world cup?

mainy zanks tu leza, zee cherman

Thursday, November 19, 2009

about klout

well i never.

kiddles sent me this interesting new social media analytics tool.  it's a hellovathing.  it's called klout, and was launched in san fran by a group of clever little four-eyed monsters.

so basically it tracks trends and centres/subjects of influence with the social media web. it makes connections and measures how many people are talking about what at the same time.

for instance - you'll recall me previous article on the new xbox?  well according to klout:

the point behind all this is based on the belief that every one who is creating content on line, has some kind of ... well ... klout.

so they look at the impact of your opinions, links and recommendations and plot it against a social graph. then using what they know about the content you create, how people interact with that content and the size and composition of your network they connect you to others.

rather nifty tool for agencies / businesses / PR dudes wishing to track / measure / justify their social media activities, no?

check out: http://klout.com/
thanks t-bear

it bugs me to be alone about bugsy malone

i've been talking about this movie since the late 80's - but no one out there seems to have shared the same childhood fetish (or let alone, even heard of it). so here's your cultural blast-from-the past.

BUGSY MALONE:  me and fat sam, we're like this.  [crosses fingers]
BLOUSEY BROWN:  you mean you're real good friends?
BUGSY: nah, it's just that every time i see him, i crosses my fingers, an' hope he don't hit me.

come on what do you mean you've never heard of it? good grief! the youth of today *sigh*

directed and written by alan parker (there'll be a pop quizz next week on his other movies, so best you eu-google it) and released in 1976.

it starred jodie foster people. although in those days she wasn't lesbanese. but still ... bless it.

if you like old school ganster plots (think the godfather), guns and long-legged ladies flapping around in strings of beads, then you may just enjoy what was possibly one of the most original and influential movies ever made.  i even attribute some of my many entertaining talents to the years i spent rewatching this on VHS.

in short (to enlighten the cretins among you who don't know about it) bugsy malone is set in the big apple, 1929 and is all about the world of would-be hoodlums, hard-core mafia type gangs, dodgie deals, showgirls and schemers (sounds a little like a friday night on woodstock main road, i know) - but here's the catch.

it's an all child cast.  sound kak? you're wrong. 

it only won best production design/art direction, screenplay, sound track, supporting actress and most promising newcomer to leading film roles at the '77 BAFTA film awards.  

oh, and then a few nominations at the oscars (best music, original song score and best adaptions score), the golden scroll's best fantasy film, best costume design, direction and film of the year (at cannes, and golden globes).

ag, but ja - it was no biggie really. 

look i'm not going to flog you a dead horse here - just watch the trailor already.

and remember - sharing is caring: if you know how to get your hands on it, then do so and give it to me. 

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

the F@head anthem

oneday (far into the distant future) when i be-wed my Fathead, we shall have our first dance to this song.

you need to watch it to really feel the kind of love that Fathead and i have for it. i want you to learn the lyrics too ... just think how left-out you'll feel when the other 700 wedding guests are "run-ka-tunk-tunking" and you aren't.

watch it. learn it. love it. play it over and over in your car.

let me guess  - your heart is beating like a jungle drum?

i'm sorry ... but WTF?

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

nikon D700 launch in south korea

inspired by our celebrity-obsessed culture, fueled by the paparazzi vultures that we all love to hate, nikon recently spun an interesting twist on the launch of their D700 model in a seoul subway.

walking past this enormous interactive billboard, passersby triggered automatic flash sensors - sending a shower of camera flashes into action.  a life size image of the papa-papa-ratssi appears to be clambering over one another to get that money-making shot ... turning your everyday public transport user into a split-second superstar.

the red carpet led them through the station, into a mall and directly to a store selling the new D700.
smart no?

thanks shazza

lady cock-a

okay, you've held your breath long enough.
 below, (a world-first reveal, btw)

a rooster, pulling off an uncanny impersonation of "lady" gaga


breakit-breakit dooowwwn .


the curious case of booze

having never worked on a booze account myself, i've never been in a position to comment on their advertising "strategies" (defn annoying word people in my industry use as interchangeable with "plan", "forward-thinking", "reason we think our forward-thinking plan is right", "reason i should be considered more clever than you").

i simply could not comment.

that is, not until now.
you see, anyone living in SA would have seen the following (amongst others, i'm sure) on their home screens. watching these ads you realise that in order to market beer/cider (for the aussies, this is that stuff that tastes a lot like brak-water) all you need to do is tick one/some/all of the following boxes:

young black male
  • must sound educated in oxford
  • must be well dressed
  • must smack of ambition and/ success
  • preferably with a sculpted hair-do and don-your-sunnies white teeth
famous (preferably pre-90's) song - following in the footsteps of heineken / windhoek .. not sure?
  • must be catchy
  • must be a sing-a-long
  • must have a chorus that compliments the rhythm of flicking off a bottle cap / pouring into a glass
  • preferably something by johnny clegg (so as to jerk a patriotic tear)
something "bling-ola"
  • cos "research" (defn insights you pay a company to generate through clinical trials) shows that "they" dig things that are shiny ... much like goats and crows

don't believe me?

  • take castle lite's ice-ice baby executive
  • castle lager's rainbow nation .. .good lord, don't even get me started ... "more than a feeeeeee-ling"
  • hansa's wors entreprenuer who ends up going into space
  • foundry's pyramid-licker
  • hunter's global-warming solver "chilling your china's china"
  • black label ... come now, do you need an example?
memory fails me as to who exactly started this trend - was it heineken's "quando-quando-quando-quandoooo"or windhoek's (pre-louis gossett jr ... thank goodness for that rejuvenation!) "i need you baby" ?

... and then there's amstel - who apparently, to celebrate their 140 years in the business, will be kind enough to give you a gold (coloured) foil neck.
thanks jer-a-miah

goodness me, but your cup doth runneth over!

why can't they just do this ... proof that white men can dance:

i'm just saying ...is all.

Wii se moer

okay so next to golfers discussing their swing on the 4th hole and top billing, tv games are pretty much up there in my top list of BO-ring things in life.

however i do have the highly-evolved skill of appreciating things are are actually interesting.

take this, a little ditty i put together, of a short history of gaming consoles (those of you who can identify these by name, need to get off the internet right now, go outside, climb a tree, throw a ball ... and who knows, you may just meet your first real friend).

okay so unless you've been living in dalstroom, you'll know the rest ... PS, PSII, PSIII, PStoo_much_money_and_find_it_hard_to_interact_with_real_homosapiens, Wii, Wii-Fit, X-box 360 ... blah blah dee blah fishpaste.

boys (and girls, i suppose) ... check this out

thanks daniel-son
take it. and go.

Monday, November 16, 2009

steri's stumped me

so my bestest one in all the land has been doing some festive things on the interweb and streets of the city, with a FABulous campaign that has taken an ou doos brand and given it a rather festive, cutting-edge cult following.

it be steri stumpie (i hear everyone has a flavourite).

look, i'm not going to lie - it's pretty weird to see a milkshake resurrect itself from the days of riaan cruywagen and the a-team,  only to emerge with a tweet account, a blog www.steri-stumpie.co.za, a facebook profile, brand ambassadors who are fakken strange individuals, two new flavours, an oom-pa band and a range of designer tshirts.

but because of all this and despite being lactose intolerant (defn "don't do diary") even i have found myself galishing at the thought of an ice cold choccie melk as part of my hang over rescue remedy.

now for those of you who are assuming i've been slipped some kind of sneaky-sneaky hand-in-pocket promo-payment, you'd be very mistaken.

no, i'm giving them airtime, in the desperate hope that NOW my  "best friend" will fling a tshirt my way.

i mean just look at this (ltd edition steri-inspired designs by levi's)

so there it is, my final plea for a dose of the radness.

these melk-terts at steri are pretty royal-upstanders mind you - even before they won their recent award at the acclaimed The Bookmarks, they've been clean of any bribery or lumps in their shake. 

guess i'll just have to watch from afar whilst society rewards the melkers 'n shakers amongst us.